Not sure how to be still anymore.

[Duck_in_water]

Hi,

This is my first time here. Not yet sure what I am hoping to get out of this, but I feel a lighter chest is a satisfactory achievement, if nothing else. I am a 23yo female. Externally, my life is more than I could have ever envisioned. I have my dream job as a Registered Nurse. I work with an amazing team. I enjoy every moment I'm at work, even the tough moments. Out of work I have a strong friendship group. I enjoy every moment that I am with my friends no matter how basic our day is spent. However, at the end of the day when I go home and when I get time to stop - I feel myself just fall into a black pit. I'm distracted and preoccupied with my thoughts. I feel anxious and on edge, and this causes tension at home. In a word, I feel depressed. Everyday I try to fill my day so that I am busy. It's hard because no-one sees the pain I am in once everything is striped away. I don't know where these feelings are coming from and don't know who I can share them with. There is nothing in my life that I would change. I am happy, but I am also trapped by a weight that I can barely explain. Hard to justify this feeling to myself, let along others. Is it still depression if I still find pleasure in daily life? How can I be still again and be content?

[Meowface]

Sorry Duck In water that your feeling this way. I’m a bit down myself so don’t have all the answers.

Im a 29 year old female to give you a bit of info about me.

Well done on having an awesome job and it’s so nice to hear you have close friends.

I wonder if you’ve have had these feelings before? Is there something worrying you? It is quite common to have unhappy feelings even if things are going well. So don’t feel unusual. But of course if the feelings are really horrible it might be an idea to get some help, talk to a Gp or counsellor. You might have a free counselling service at work.

Another thought is that I’ve always had worsened depressive/anxious thoughts with PMS. It’s something I’ve had to factor into my month - like okay I’ll feel like I’m in a huge black hole for 3 days but remember it’s PMS!! Hormones have an impact as well.

You sound like a lovely grateful person so I hope things are okay XX

[Duck_in_water]

Thank you Meowface 👌

We do have a free service through work. I hadn't thought of that. In some respect I feel like I'm in a little denial, until I'm in bed - breathless with dread. The next step might be to verbally say how I feel. I often get very anxious about work. I love it, but there are often things I could have done Better, or things I should have done but didn't get too. No one at home gets that though, or at least I don't give them the chance. Perhaps that is somewhat contributing.

It is funny that you mention PMS, currently I am be being tested for PCOS which effects hormones.. 🤔

You sound lovely,

I wonder if there is anything you were wanting to get off your chest?

Duck in Water