The warmest welcome to you as you face one of the most challenging times in your life. My heart goes out to you so much.
When I think back to when my sister and her ex husband were together, it reminds me of your situation. I'll share with you how my nephew managed. How he managed made a big difference to him. Btw, he's my sister's child from a previous relationship before my sister met her ex and they had 2 daughters together. I'm hoping some of the following helps
- He kind of adopted his best mate's parents, who he loved and they loved him and were incredibly supportive of him
- He spent a lot of time out of the house with friends, when he could
- He also relied on me (his auntie), his uncle as a key male role model, his grandparents etc
- He had his favourite teachers at school who supported him
I'm sure there was more that made a difference to him but that's just what comes to mind. He's now in his late 30s and is an absolutely beautiful dad to 2 kids of his own. He'd tell you that time in his life was one of the most challenging times to date and he couldn't have managed it without people who raised him at times when has was feeling down.
I'm imagining one of the reasons why your step dad singles you out is based on everyone else in the family trying not to upset him in any way. The 'difficult' child in the family is the one who doesn't always walk on eggshells. They are typically the one who won't tolerate the behaviour of a mentally and emotionally manipulative or abusive person. They are themself and won't change for anyone who they can't respect. Everyone else in the family tends to change or develop out of fear.
While you face a time where you are distancing yourself, it's time to think about who in your life you need to start growing closer to. A friend's parents, teacher/s, a certain relative etc? Someone who's genuinely going to support to you, with your best interests at heart (not theirs). Someone you can fully trust. Such people will act as guides for you at a time where you're so desperately in need of direction and a way out of the darkness you're feeling right now. Don't look to anyone who's going to lead you in the wrong direction. The best guides in life (no matter our age) are key. They not only help unlock the way forward, they also help unlock more positive and constructive emotions that help restore what can feel like such low energy. Inspiration definitely feels more energising that sadness. A sense of liberation feels more energising than fear. I'm so glad you came here looking for guides and support. Your quest for guides has officially begun, when it comes to you finding the way forward.
