Family is sabotaging my recovery. Help?

[Over_It]

Hi guys,

I haven't really got anywhere else to go, I have been fighting severe depression and anxiety since April. I was starting to make progress on it, regaining some confidence to step outside the house, but this morning a member of my family has sabotaged all that, making out that I can just get over it like that and I don't have a problem. I've had a massive downhill slide. This family member wonders why I become suicidal at times (I'm not currently). There's no point explaining to them because they won't listen to a word I say. I can't leave home because I can't afford to, but at the same time I can't cope with this anymore. I have barricaded myself in my bedroom and have not eaten at all today because I'm now too anxious to leave my bedroom or eat, lest this person starts again. I don't know what to do anymore. If I stay I won't get better, but I have no choice.

[white knight]

Hi Over_it,

This is a tough one to give an opinion because its subjective.

I think that in your situation anyone that is hindering any progress with your mental health needs to be eliminated from your surroundings. That's a personal viewpoint. Recovery from depression needs a cocktail of things to commence the recovery phase- eg correct medication, ideal as possible lifestyle, finances  and human contact- among others- all working in a positive manner.

It was earlier this year that I finally made proactive steps to improve my daily life. I first eliminated 140 of my 180 FB friends for example. Contacted relatives a lot less those that didnt add to my life and worked my way to the fringe of a club I am a member of.  All these actions improved my life.

As for family members I cut ties with my mother 4 years ago and as her behaviour was always unacceptable and destructive it was the best thing I've ever done- sad as it is.

Others here might have other ideas but for me I'd set about carving out my life how I want it. Those that wish to remain on board would need to be those that display basic understanding and have support or more accurately- dont place bricks on your road to recovery. You dont need that.

These people you might decide (eventually when they are out of your life) to spend a day at xmas with, a short period of time whereby they are unlikely to cause you any grief.

Good luck. It isnt easy.   WK

[BeeGee]

That is tough. It really sucks that your home life is unhelpful, but you seem to have no options to leave.

I wonder if you have a friend you might be able to stay with for a little while?  I'm thinking that it might help just to get some breathing space in a different environment, even just for a week or two.  When you are wedged into circumstances in which you have no control and that are negative for you, it's hard to get any perspective on your own situation.  I know it won't solve your problem, but maybe it could help give you enough space to think of things that you currently aren't able to because you're too busy just surviving?