Dear GeorgieBelle
Welcome to Beyond Blue. It's good that you have felt comfortable enough to post here. Generally speaking, someone will answer you when you post, although not necessarily immediately. We do try though.
All of us who have depression, and that's most, understand how friends back away from us when we are unwell. It is so disheartening and makes the dark so much harder to bear. I like to explain to folk that their friends are largely reacting to fear of the unknown (mental illness) as well as being part of the 'me' generation.
The combination of both has a dreadful effect on others, especially those who are unwell, and I do not know how to combat this. We need our families and friends. We are a social society, dependent on each other for emotional, psychological and spiritual health. Unfortunately it's a lesson we seem to learn only as we grow older.
Facebook has a great deal to answer for, but like many new and exciting things, the impact can only be truly known after the fact, often when it is too late. Well, so much for philosophy.
Someone on another thread has written about being a caring person, putting themselves after everyone else's needs. Because you appear to be the strong one in a social group no one believes you need help. You almost become a surrogate mother to others. And we all know our moms are superwoman, able to cure life's problems with a kiss and cuddle. Or at least that's what happened when we were children.
But moms get tired too and need to be cared for. You need care and comfort, especially while you are unwell and in such a dark and dreadful place.
There are a couple of things to consider. You could tell a one or two very close friends how you feel and ask for support. Sadly our friends do not always notice when we are down, but if asked they may realise that you are in need. You need to judge whether or not this would work.
Another option is to ask your doctor, or psych if you are seeing one, if there are any support groups in your area. Just as posting on BB helps, talking to a group of like minded people may also be a source of support for you.
I think you are right not to try and keep in contact with others. It is hard work and you need your strength and energy for yourself at the moment. Do you have any hobbies/activities that you enjoy? Is there anything you have always wanted to do? Could you find a group activity to attend? No need to disclose your depression, just enjoy the ride.
Happy to explore further.
LING
