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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Aitsu as I walk through the town with no people
  • replies: 11

I find it hard to explain anything about how I’m feeling, because to be honest I really don’t know anymore. I use to have depression during primary and high school, but thanks to a couple of great relationships in my past things improved and I was ab... View more

I find it hard to explain anything about how I’m feeling, because to be honest I really don’t know anymore. I use to have depression during primary and high school, but thanks to a couple of great relationships in my past things improved and I was able to get past that, there was once a point where I’d say I was free of depression and was just trying to work through the secondary problems my depression had created, such as poor memory and social skills. But ever since my relationship with my ex failed two years ago I have slowly been spiralling down hill. It has been around 15 years since I have been this bad with my depression to the point that I am finding myself in tears every day and wanting to pass out too fee myself from the feeling of emptiness and pain I feel. I have tried so many different things to get myself on track since the break up, from attending various social clubs, immersing myself in work, spending time with family, following hobbies, dating sites… whatever I do, I just have no interest and to be honest all these things actually make me feel worse. While my memory is shot as my head tries frantically to cope with this pain; I still know of the feelings of bliss I felt every time my ex smiled and nothing these past two years can remotely compare or turn me around so fast. I think that is why I feel nothing when I do these “social” things. As much as I wish things worked, I understand that she wanted to follow her spiritual needs and going our separate ways was probably inevitable. I have been in love and engaged before and breaking up has always been horrible, but I can’t turn myself around this time as I fall deeper into the darkness. I feel so alone as I walk through this town with no people.

MrsCam this is all a bit new to me
  • replies: 5

Hi all, Have been treated for depression with ad meds for the past 15 years or so. Was always on the same low dose till about 12 months ago when things started to go down hill. Then in recent months Ive been on a roller coaster merry go round of alte... View more

Hi all, Have been treated for depression with ad meds for the past 15 years or so. Was always on the same low dose till about 12 months ago when things started to go down hill. Then in recent months Ive been on a roller coaster merry go round of alternating highs and lows. Yesterday I was voluntarily admitted to Perth Clinic and my diagnosis has been changed from depression to bipolar2. This is no great surprise to me as my gp mentioned that this might be the case. I have stopped the ad meds and last nite started on mood stabilizers. I am hoping that these, along with the skills & techniques I hope to learn throgh groups & individual therapy here will restore some balance in my world. Hope everyone is having a good day

Mic3 Tired of depression
  • replies: 8

Hi, I am so not used to write about my problems or talk about it. I was brought up that way. You don't really talk about yourself and you are definitely not a burden to anyone so I am sorry if my writing is a little confusing. People see me as a very... View more

Hi, I am so not used to write about my problems or talk about it. I was brought up that way. You don't really talk about yourself and you are definitely not a burden to anyone so I am sorry if my writing is a little confusing. People see me as a very strong person that never needs help but the truth is that I am so unhappy and have this rage of hopeless inside me. I think I have had depression most of my life but now when life is a lot more busier with small kids it appears a lot more. I love and adore my kids and I have a wonderful husband that would do anything for me. But..... Here is my thing... I have fibromyalgia (chronic fatigue, pain) depression and I also have a sugar addiction which no one takes really serious. Hey even I find it weird sometimes but it's real. All three of them come together. Sugar makes me very bad and my pains become worse. When my pain is bad, my depression becomes really bad. It's like a black circle that I can't get out of. I have worked really hard the last years to get my body on track and I think I have my pain and other things on track but it's the depression and the sugar addiction that is really hard to take on. I have been to therapists but they don't really take me seriously..Let me explain. I know my problem and I am asking and answering myself when I am at a therapist. The ones I have been to always says. "You know what to do and you are strong". I am a little tired of hearing that because I do feel hopeless many times and my head is just black with uninvited "guests", as I call them, talking bad things. Really bad thoughts about myself. I cry a lot and I am trying to talk to my husband about it but it's not always easy to really tell what you feel. I have been through a lot in my life and when I feel good I feel like a survivor and I'm strong. But when I'm in my black cloud I feel very weak and just want to disappear. Feels like my family would be better without me. I know it's my brain and the uninvited guests talking and not my heart but it's really tiring and difficult to feel all this while trying to keep up work, house, kids and life in general. For me all this is really real. I do keep going but I have become very good in keeping up appearance. People do not see it on me. Even my husband don't see it many times until I have a panic attack or I am just crying. I hope that I make a little sense. For me.. I just need to talk about it sometimes, to get the screaming voices in my head out. Thank you

dorothy feeling fake: I'm tired of acting
  • replies: 6

Here goes, anyone who knows me thinks I'm a happy, confident caring person. And being a nurse my job requires such qualities, being a mother requires this, being a wife requires this and so I play this role, I want to be like this but the reality is ... View more

Here goes, anyone who knows me thinks I'm a happy, confident caring person. And being a nurse my job requires such qualities, being a mother requires this, being a wife requires this and so I play this role, I want to be like this but the reality is I am dying inside, always anxious and nervous feeling over whelmed all the time. I am tired of acting, I'm tired of anxiety attacks and tired of feeling sad for no reason. I have to push myself to be motivated not out of wanting its a necessity when the truth is I could gladly just curl up in bed all day and withdraw from society, family and friends. And what is sadder no one can tell.

Princess "Help me if you can... I'm feeling down"
  • replies: 5

It's been a while. Every morning I wake up with my stomach in knots and I even wake up during the night like I want to be sick. Eventually I get the courage to put one foot in front of the other and attempt to face the day. By the time I make it into... View more

It's been a while. Every morning I wake up with my stomach in knots and I even wake up during the night like I want to be sick. Eventually I get the courage to put one foot in front of the other and attempt to face the day. By the time I make it into work I feel overwhelmed and like I can't do my job. I always seem to be on edge. I've been reading a book about CBT and I find it quite helpful at that moment but then by the next day, whatever I've read is out the window and my feeling of downness returns. I have a super supportive husband and he is so encouraging and I feel like I'm really letting him down by being this way. Not sure what he did to deserve me, but I am grateful he is my partner in life. Not even sure why I wrote this .... just wanted to get it off my chest I suppose.

Lou I Just want to run away but there is nowhere
  • replies: 5

I am so tired, so sad, so fed up. I just want to go away. I want to find a retreat where I can talk to someone who can help. I am feeling so unloved and cared for. I can't keep this up. I have pulled back from all my friends and have no-one. No one w... View more

I am so tired, so sad, so fed up. I just want to go away. I want to find a retreat where I can talk to someone who can help. I am feeling so unloved and cared for. I can't keep this up. I have pulled back from all my friends and have no-one. No one wants to know about it any more. It is not my fault I am soooo down. You have no idea how close I have come to not being here. I am so stuck I don't know what to do. My doctor has been changing my meds and I am seeing a physc tomorrow. I know everyone will say hang in there. Give the meds a chance but I am over it. I have been suffering depression for 40 years now and I am sick of being sick. Sick of no-one understanding. Here we go again and again and again. I don't want to be like this and there is nowhere to go. I need 24/7 at the moment. Physc ward doesn't want me. I'm sad not mad. Why isn't there somewhere we can go and stay and get help without it being a physc ward. That's not the right place when you are down. I don't know where to go from here.

zolaranium I just need to let it out
  • replies: 4

I'm not expecting anyone to read this, and not needing anyone to reply. I see a professional, I take my medication, I just really need a safe, anonymous place to let my feelings out. Here goes. I'm 36. I've been battling depression since I was 15, an... View more

I'm not expecting anyone to read this, and not needing anyone to reply. I see a professional, I take my medication, I just really need a safe, anonymous place to let my feelings out. Here goes. I'm 36. I've been battling depression since I was 15, and I think it's winning. I don't have any horrible stories, or shocking childhood events behind my depression, it's just always been there. I met my husband when I was 19, married at 24, and now we have 4 beautiful kids. And it's not enough to stop me from wanting to not exist. I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to get dressed. I don't want to make meals, or do the washing, or clean the house. I just want to not wake up in the morning. I've been to several doctors. I've been on several medications - to the point where my current Dr has recommended I never go off them again. And it's just not working. I hate myself and I don't see that I'm worth putting any effort into. I don't understand what my friends possibly see in me that is worth liking. I'm the most useless mother on the planet, and I honestly feel sorry for my kids that they got stuck with me. My marriage is not great. I feel like my husband would rather be anywhere than here - and that must be my fault. I'm not good enough. And I get so angry with him - he's always working, he doesn't help me with any of the household chores, if I ask him to do something, his answer is always "sure" and then he never does it, and now I find myself not even bothering to ask for his help and then resenting him for making me do it all on my own. My ways of dealing with my feelings are eating, drinking and self harm - and I pretend to everyone else that I'm ok because I don't believe that they actually want to hear any of my problems. I think a lot about killing myself, but I know I'd never have the guts. I have some hobbies that, at times, I really enjoy doing, but then I look at the results and they are so rubbish that I wonder why I bothered in the first place. I just feel that everyone in my life would be better off without me - I wouldn't be screwing up my kids lives, my husband wouldn't have to put up with me, my friends would be able to spend time with others and not have to baby me and my stupid meltdowns. There is not one positive, useful thing I contribute...so honestly, what is the point of me?? I'm taking up valuable air and space and resources.. and I should just not.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

daisy_rose I'm scared of being sick
  • replies: 6

Hello everyone, this is my first time posting and it's really my first step towards actually trying to get help.When I was 15 I went to see a councillor butI was scared of being told I was crazy so I lied about how I felt. Then I saw a psychologist w... View more

Hello everyone, this is my first time posting and it's really my first step towards actually trying to get help.When I was 15 I went to see a councillor butI was scared of being told I was crazy so I lied about how I felt. Then I saw a psychologist when I was 17 and when I got there I started to leave out a lot of things, like when she asked if I ever had suicidal thoughts I just said no, even though I think about killing myself every day. I was, and am, just so scared of being told there is something wrong with me. Then early last year I tried again to get help. I was open with my psychologist, she told me I had depression and anxiety but after every session I would go home and hurt myself because I felt like such a loser, so I stopped going. I just so desperately want to wake up tomorrow and stop feeling and thinking these things. I think each day that passes I feel myself getting worse and worse.. I'm starting to go into hazes where I don't even feel like I exist and I feel like I can't move my body. I know I have to get help but I' m scared of it all being real. I want to stop feeling these things, and I want to feel normal. I realise now that I'll never just wake up and all this be gone, so I know I have to get help. I wanted to ask if anyone has any advice on how I should go about seeking help? And also does anyone have advice on how to deal with being diagnosed, because I am worried that getting a proper diagnoses will make me break and scare me away again. Thank you

jsp2014 a little stuck: a particular thought that won't go away
  • replies: 3

I have been depressed for about 3 and a half years now and was just recently put on to antidepressants. Overall they have helped a lot by removing most of my depressing thoughts but one has remained and I think about it everyday which is driving me c... View more

I have been depressed for about 3 and a half years now and was just recently put on to antidepressants. Overall they have helped a lot by removing most of my depressing thoughts but one has remained and I think about it everyday which is driving me crazy. However i don’t want to completely get rid of it because while it is one of my saddest memories it was also a part of the happiest time in my life. Im not sure what to do. Any thoughts?

Hadenough Unsure what to do: losing a friendship to depression?
  • replies: 9

Morning, I have struggled with depression for the last couple of years, I was able to recognise that there was something wrong pretty quickly and sort help from my GP, who put me through a mental health plan, put me on medication & recommended a phys... View more

Morning, I have struggled with depression for the last couple of years, I was able to recognise that there was something wrong pretty quickly and sort help from my GP, who put me through a mental health plan, put me on medication & recommended a physc, which I was a little reluctant to go to so put it off for ages. The first lot of medication recommended by my GP worked for a little while but got to the point where we had reached the maximum dosage for that brand, so changed medication, which seems to be helping but still a very high dose apparently. It's a funny thing depression, I'm one of these depressed people that people would have no clue I suffer from it.. Before I was diagnosed I had a group of people that I loved going out with at the end of the working week & having a quite drink or ten with to unwind, but when I was diagnosed I felt I needed to give up the drinking, so that I had control of at least a little of my thoughts, but in giving away the drinking I also lost those friendships, which shattered me at the time & of course added to the depression. I chose not to tell a lot of people about the depression cause that wasn't who I was, but the one friend whom I did choose to tell was a very new friend, but made me feel comfortable enough to talk with her & throughout the last couple of years has been a constant support to me, we've had some great conversations, I'm not generally a talker, to the point where I was surprised she hadn't given up on me, well I think that time has finally come & I'm not quite sure how to handle it. She was the type of friend that would contact me every couple of days to see how I was going, even when on holidays & I loved that, it made me feel good. The last lot of holidays, I didn't hear from her as I normally would so thought that I would ask why, couldn't quite get a straight answer or maybe the truth & this really frustrated me, it frustrated me to the point that I got quite upset & said things I wouldn't normally say, not nasty things but things that seemed true to me..I felt the rules had been changed & somebody forgot to tell me. Of course there's a lot more that goes with this story but you can only type so much. This is a friendship I DO NOT want to loose. Its a very true friendship to me because it wasn't built on drunken conversation as my past ones were..if it's over I'll be absolutely shattered.......How do I fix this??