dear Heids, lovely for you to post on this site, but you aren't well.
When we have depression we either want to be alone or we actually feel alone, as it doesn't matter one iota how many people are with us, here we are sitting in a glass cabinet, nobody can speak to us, or if they do, it doesn't register, we can't hear them.
However you really want someone to be there and look after you, someone to lay your head on their shoulder and perhaps cry, and I would think that this is what is happening now, but by having no one increases this sadness, and this sadness is depression.
I would ask your mum or someone else close to you to come and stay with you, because it's this support that is missing.
I also believe that you should take some time off work, because eventually down the track it will become all too much for you and you won't be able to cope .
Is there a doctor or even psych at your work who you can talk to on a regular basis, or they maybe able to refer you to someone outside of your work.
You won't be able to keep on going like this all by yourself, because no one with depression can do this, so you need professional help.
You can try and work under the pretenses of being OK and this means putting on a fake face to everyone, but it's not the solution, because all of us have done the same until finally we can't do it any more.
Your work must be pretty intensive being a nurse, with people ringing their buzzers, wanting this and that, not later but now, so your work limits are heavy and extensive, but it will become too much down the track, so that's why I want you to get the help you need now, before the big crunch comes.
Thanks for posting Heid's, and I hope that you can get back to us. L Geoff. x
