Hi SadDavo,
I don’t think what you’re saying is “silly” at all. Health anxiety can be very debilitating. If anything, I want to say well done on finding the inner strength to share some of your struggles here.
The CT scan and associated fears sound really overwhelming. It must be horrible to live with so much dread and fear.
I get that you’re understandably drawn to really morbid videos. Although I wonder if it would help to perhaps also look up some happier videos; maybe they could help counter some of the morbid ones and lift your mood a little.
Also, I wonder if you can make an appointment with your GP or other health professional about your health anxiety? I’m only suggesting it because perhaps they might be able to teach you some to coping tools to help you manage those spiraling thoughts. Just my thoughts...
Also, please know you can come back at any time to share more about yourself. You’re most welcome here and it would be great to hear from you again (if you like).
Caring thoughts,
Pepper
