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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Sarahg94 I'm scared
  • replies: 3

I hate this No sleep Wake up, work No eat Talk, be happy, be loving Get over it Your problems aren't problems "You're being stupid, You're dumb. What is wrong with you" There's always something, i always want more. So i work, i sleep (barely, or too ... View more

I hate this No sleep Wake up, work No eat Talk, be happy, be loving Get over it Your problems aren't problems "You're being stupid, You're dumb. What is wrong with you" There's always something, i always want more. So i work, i sleep (barely, or too much) i study, i love, i try. But nothing but feelings I'm just 'getting by'. I take pills, they'll help, "they just make you feel numb". Then why do i feel like i still need a gun?

Rukirra Having an identity crisis
  • replies: 9

Hi, I'm new to the forums. I'm 31, and i have bipolar, panic disorder, ptsd, and bdp. I'm currently studying at uni, however, I feel like I have no direction in life, no life goals. I have changed degrees so many times, because i am just not happy wi... View more

Hi, I'm new to the forums. I'm 31, and i have bipolar, panic disorder, ptsd, and bdp. I'm currently studying at uni, however, I feel like I have no direction in life, no life goals. I have changed degrees so many times, because i am just not happy with what i'm doing. I constantly feel like i'm stuck on step one and can never move forward. I've had a lot of issues in my life, particularity being in a domestic violence relationship for 8 years where i wasnt allowed to do anything. Now that i am out of that situation, and with a loving partner, i have no real idea of what i want to do with my life. I do not handle any kind of stress well, however, i'm trying to preserver with uni because i do want to learn and feel educated, and i do want a career. But every time i think i have chosen my set career, i end up feeling quickly bored by it, or too overwhelmingly stressed by it. I even changed unis to see if that was my problem, but no, here i am again, completely unsure as to who i am and what i should do. The other thing is, i have never had a job before. I was in that horrible relationship from a young age, and for the past five years i have been just trying to get back on my feet again without crumbling into a heap every two seconds. I just feel like I have no identity. I dont know who i am, and nothing i have found so far seems to fit me. How can i move past this?

M2 Depression and self sabotage
  • replies: 20

Is it normal to constantly want to"hurt" yourself during a particularly bad period of depression? I don't mean physically. Any way of sabotaging my future seems to be on the cards. This time it cost me a redundancy payout (20 years). Another time it ... View more

Is it normal to constantly want to"hurt" yourself during a particularly bad period of depression? I don't mean physically. Any way of sabotaging my future seems to be on the cards. This time it cost me a redundancy payout (20 years). Another time it was a split of my divorce settlement (I gave everything instead to my ex). Usually it is smaller, not financial, more a way of putting myself last somehow, others always first. It's obviously some kind of martyr complex. Often others don't know about it, else I'd guess it was to make others feel sorry for me. I think perhaps it's because I have somehow come to like being hopeless? Does anyone else have this? It has been extremely destructive to my life.

Envy13 Struggling with depression
  • replies: 2

I've recently been off work for two weeks with a workcover injury. I work with children and as informed today that I will be taken out of my room and placed in another room for the end of the year. My centre is 95% Chinese children and their allnwuit... View more

I've recently been off work for two weeks with a workcover injury. I work with children and as informed today that I will be taken out of my room and placed in another room for the end of the year. My centre is 95% Chinese children and their allnwuite nasty each other. They all speak Chinese together, hardly any English and are bullying other children in Chinese. I really don't want to go in this room. i also have a son (4yr old) who was recently was dignosed with ADHD and ODD and lately he has been extremely full on to the point where I resent him and wish I never had. His pysch said he show signs of a sociopath which utterly freaking me out big time and I can't get it out of my head. the combination of the two has triggered my depression and I just don't know what to do. I see a pysch and am on anti depressant. My pysch wanted to up my dosage but I don't want to do that. I hate the fact that I have to take them in the first. I'm completely lost and don't know what to do with myself. I can't switch my brain off and im constantly in tears. I go back to work tomorrow and physically making myself feel sick. I want to call in sick but I can't after having two days. I'm just a mess

greenkazbar Black Dog - a poem
  • replies: 5

Black Dog Life was so great, it was joyful and fun Time spent basking, in the glimmering sun A loving family and good friends a many I had no worries, didn’t want for a penny But life has now changed, it’s a misty grey fog I’ve been told I’ve got, th... View more

Black Dog Life was so great, it was joyful and fun Time spent basking, in the glimmering sun A loving family and good friends a many I had no worries, didn’t want for a penny But life has now changed, it’s a misty grey fog I’ve been told I’ve got, the dreaded ‘Black Dog’ What does that mean, I question of myself My vitals are fine, in good physical health This blasted Black Dog, which I cannot see I hope it’s small fleas, keep clear of me No whining, no barking, what’s this all about I don’t see droppings or feel its wet snout This Black Dog surrounds me, every waking day I don’t feed the damned thing, yet it won’t run away “Leave!” I command, of this vile shady dog But it lingers over me, as I’m left in a fog The Black Dog is made up, I hear them all say Stop all this nonsense and get on with your day They don’t understand, they don’t even try While I’m feeling hollow, I slobber and cry I don’t get it either, I'm stuck in this trap This Black Dog that haunts me, but don’t even crop I sob hopelessly, while my body does quiver I’ve blubbered so much, I’ve cried me a river I scream, “leave me Black Dog, I don’t want to play, Leave now Black Dog and keep right away!” So, how long will it stay, I really don’t know But I’d feel much lighter, if the damned thing would go

Paullus Is anybody there?
  • replies: 17

Why is it after a number of therapy sessions, trying different therpeutic approaches, research and self analysis, unsuccessful medications, discussions with family and close friends that I feel so misunderstood? I don't blame anyone for this because ... View more

Why is it after a number of therapy sessions, trying different therpeutic approaches, research and self analysis, unsuccessful medications, discussions with family and close friends that I feel so misunderstood? I don't blame anyone for this because if I struggle to know self how can anyone else. There doesn't seem to be an answer and I'm slowly losing my grip on the basic realities of life. And that scares me a bit as I feel there is an inevitable conclusion to all this. Does anyone really understand the frigging hopelessness that is depression, the ever present melancholy that won't let go despite concerted effort to shrug it off. There has been recent sportsmen who have "stepped away from the game to deal with mental health issues" and the world goes awww, poor things, only for these guys to appear next week and get on with it. If only it was that easy as its not the depression I know. I've tried everything in order to get a grip on this black dog but nothing seems to work. I'm not after sympathy at all, it's my lot and I'm responsible and I get that. I guess I'm just looking for someone to acknowlege what a bummer this involuntary condition is. I know I'm not the only sufferer, but in my world no-one gets me or it. Thanks for listening.

Anh_Ha My experience - I hope it gives to others
  • replies: 11

For the longest time my young heart and mind were steeped in despair. At an age where other children were beginning to learn about human nature I had already tainted myself with the numbing belief that the world had very little to offer. Living appea... View more

For the longest time my young heart and mind were steeped in despair. At an age where other children were beginning to learn about human nature I had already tainted myself with the numbing belief that the world had very little to offer. Living appeared to me a futile struggle of the narcissistic compulsions of the individual and the forces of social oppression that smothered any humanity. As childhood morphed into adolescence this misguided and naive conviction was only compounded by the ruthlessness of teenage years. Imagine then my young-self being thrusted into the modern workforce - the sad struggle for the illusionary security that money offered and the disconnection of one's consciouness in the workplace was horrifying. I felt alone, withdrawn, isolated - suffocating from an imagined weight so oppressive it mocked anything reality itself could conjure. I genuinely believed myself to be unlovable - my experiences had rendered me almost catatonic - I felt so physically and internally ugly that no one could possibly ever love someone so broken. Slowly, but surely, people and humanity proved me wrong. Bit by bit it began to dawn on me that not only did beauty exist in this world - it existed in an almost infinite abundance. I discovered real friendships, I luxuriated in the intimacy of being in love and I finally learnt to appreciate the true power of resilience and generosity that was my mother and father's love. Now, almost everything I see, almost everyone I meet, almost every human interaction I witness is seeped with unimaginable beauty. The empathy and instinctive understanding of the human soul and mind that had caused me so much pain before has now enabled me to experience a crescendo of joy in simply existing. A friend once said to me that "while you're very perceptive of people's flaws you somehow naturally define them by their strengths". I've pondered why and I believe this reflection answers it. In my mind no one is more critically flawed than myself - so my empathy has allowed me to forgive myself and all others. It's probably the most powerful tool of survival that I have ever possessed. For all those in despair and feel that light is simply a figment of one's utter desperation I say again - there is immense beauty in our existence.

Kid_in_denial Complicated Postnatal
  • replies: 6

Hi. 12 months ago I was diagnosed with Postnatal Anxiety. Started out as sleep deprivation. Was probably averaging 2-3 hours a night. Didn't matter if baby was asleep, I couldn't sleep. Anyway, this all came up at 6 week postnatal checkup. From here ... View more

Hi. 12 months ago I was diagnosed with Postnatal Anxiety. Started out as sleep deprivation. Was probably averaging 2-3 hours a night. Didn't matter if baby was asleep, I couldn't sleep. Anyway, this all came up at 6 week postnatal checkup. From here I was poorly managed. I told the GP I wasn't coping and the GP wanted me to wait a week to speak to a MH nurse. Ended up back at the GP the next day begging for help. They were insistent on me trying particular class of antidepressant (which I had previous manic episodes on) and benzodiazepines so I could continue to breastfeed. No matter how hard I insisted I would stop breastfeeding regardless of the medication given, the GP would not prescribe the medication I usually take for previous MH issues. Well no surprises what happened next..... I had a manic episode. Psychotic I would call it. I was paranoid, I had auditory hallucinations, I kept thinking my baby was sick. I feel like I had taken a handful of amphetamines along with some hallucinogenics. I ceased the anti depressant after 5 days and continued to take the benzo - taking large amounts just to feel like I had my feet on the ground. After a wash out period the doc allowed me to take the antidepressant which I had first requested. They also allowed me to change to a longer acting benzo while the new meds settled. Well this proved problematic. I developed some dental and neck issues and was placed on opioid medications. Well you can probably guess how that turned out. Fast forward 12 months and I have just self detoxed off 9 months of opioid abuse. I was left in the dark by my GP and also forced to go into withdrawal of benzodiazepines cold turkey. A week later I consulted a drug and alcohol doctor who put me straight back on the benzos and we are now doind a very slow taper. I have never felt so depressed in all of my life. My mood ranges from low to nothing. I see my psychologist once a week and also the D&A doc. I no longer have the support of a psychiatrist as they were seen via telehealth at the GP office where I am no longer a patient. Where I live a bulk billed psychiatrist is a fair way away. I am now pretty certain that my depression is no longer from the postnatal issues, but from the prescription medications. How do you motivate the unmotivated? Someone who knows what they should be doing to get better but can't get up and do it. Someone tell me it gets better?!

clownartist Dealing with depression and anxiety
  • replies: 24

I am new to this forum.I trying to deal with depression and anxiety which I have suffered from approx last two years.I have been through a bitter separation a marriage of 20 years or so. My teenage children have almost abadoned me and have very littl... View more

I am new to this forum.I trying to deal with depression and anxiety which I have suffered from approx last two years.I have been through a bitter separation a marriage of 20 years or so. My teenage children have almost abadoned me and have very little support.My work has suffered .I am really struggling to deal with moving forward have to sell the property find new home and job.I have completely lost my mojo

bumbledbee Hello
  • replies: 7

I just really need to talk. My depression has gotten really bad in the last week. I went off my medication at the beginning of the year and things were okay for a while. Every now and then I would get a mild depression but nothing too bad. Last Satur... View more

I just really need to talk. My depression has gotten really bad in the last week. I went off my medication at the beginning of the year and things were okay for a while. Every now and then I would get a mild depression but nothing too bad. Last Saturday it hit me pretty hard. I've completely lost my appetite and broken into tears more than once. I struggle to get up. I spend most of my time in bed or on the floor. The negative thoughts are overwhelming, but I can't stop thinking them. I went back on my medication 2 days ago. Obviously no change yet. It's the feelings of uselessness that really get me