Struggling with depression

[Envy13]

I've recently been off work for two weeks with a workcover injury. I work with children and as informed today that I will be taken out of my room and placed in another room for the end of the year. My centre is 95% Chinese children and their allnwuite nasty each other. They all speak Chinese together, hardly any English and are bullying other children in Chinese. I really don't want to go in this room.

i also have a son (4yr old) who was recently was dignosed with ADHD and ODD and lately he has been extremely full on to the point where I resent him and wish I never had. His pysch said he show signs of a sociopath which utterly freaking me out big time and I can't get it out of my head.

the combination of the two has triggered my depression and I just don't know what to do. I see a pysch and am on anti depressant. My pysch wanted to up my dosage but I don't want to do that. I hate the fact that I have to take them in the first. I'm completely lost and don't know what to do with myself. I can't switch my brain off and im constantly in tears. I go back to work tomorrow and physically making myself feel sick. I want to call in sick but I can't after having two days. I'm just a mess

[MsPurple]

H Envy13. And welcome to the BB forums. Use users (and community champions) are fellow users like yourself. We are not professionals. We are here to help support each other in a safe environment. We are not perfect and we sometimes don't come up with the perfect answer. But we try our best. I sometimes like to let first time users that us CC are just regular folks 🙂

I'm sorry to about your recent stress. It sounds like you have a lot going on with work, injury and your son. It sounds like you are a little overwhelmed at the moment. I know your psych wanting to increase your medication is maybe what is best for your right now (according to your dr). I have been in a similar situation where I had to increase my medication dose. I felt like I was a failure for needing the medication in the first place and I felt worse for needing a higher dose (I ended up going up again later). I then realised that needing medication does not mean you are a failure and it is not a bad thing. Medication is a tool to help you in a time of stress and to help you deal with your depression. Depression can be caused by you not having enough chemicals in your brain, and the medication helps to increase them (this is a very basic way of putting it and if you look into it more there is more details on it). It is no my fault I do not have enough chemicals. It is like saying to someone it is your fault you have asthma and need ventolin. With depression you can't test how well it is working through blood. They have to figure it out through observation and by you telling them how you have been traveling. The psych may have suggested upping the dose based on how you have been traveling lately. Now increasing medication dosage is not always permanent. Sometimes we need a high dose short term to help us out of a rough patch. I have had to do this and so has my mum (dr suggested it and we followed their advice). I suggest discussing it further with your psych if you are still unsure, but it maybe a good idea to try and see if it helps.

It sounds like you are really struggling at the moment and on the forums we try and be prompt but we can not always reply as quickly as needed. If you ever need to chat to someone live feel free to go to the bottom left of this page and go on the 'chat online' they are really good and can help you if you need answers and suggestions quick. Or you could call 1300224636 anytime.

[Envy13]

Thank you so much MsPurple. I just hate the idea of going up a dose and then if that doesn't settle down going up another dose. It's scares me but I'm just so overwhelmed by everything. Its my first day back to work tomorrow and I really don't want to go. There's been a whole centre change all cause of my injury and staff are not happy about being forced to go into another room. I feel so awful I've caused all this.