everyday people

Crazy_train · ‎19-02-2017

To look at me I look very fit and I have a good muscular I guess natural build because I don't do any training. I am very clean and I dress tidy and smell nice, I can hold a conversation and can turn on some charm if needed, people think I am amazing, people think I am the ducks nuts, people look up to me, people think I am as cool as a cucumber, people come to me for advice, people ask for my help and knowledge.

Now I will tell you straight from the horses mouth what I think about those people, I wish those people would jam their opinions, thoughts, questions, where the sun don't shine, I wish they looked up at Donald Trump not me, if they want to know the answer to something I feel like saying have you ever heard of Google, If I wanted to talk to you I would have come over and said hello, obviously I didn't so why are you talking to me. I am not cool like a cucumber in fact I am smoking hot and the littlest thing can trigger me into a rage. I don't give you a birthday present never have and I never will why in the hell would you randomly give me a present. Neighbour across the road, your ok to wave too every now and then but don't hassle me with a Xmas card with a reindeer on it wishing me a happy Xmas you ain't getting a card back mate. Other neighbour when I am out the front of my house, tell me where in the hell am displaying a sign or do I have a calling card or something printed on my head saying come over and say hello id love to talk crap to you and waste 20mins of my time. Leave me alone, leave me in silence I don't bother you please don't bother me, don't call me and I won't call you, I don't do Facebook or any social media, don't snap chat me don't twitter me leave me alone. . Lady at the servo don't ask how I am today you really could care less and your smile couldn't be any faker. My doctor you are not that interested I notice you overlook a few things or don't care but the one thing you never overlook and you are brilliant at is getting your Medicare form signed so you get your money. I am depressed and just can't handle life to well and I struggle to deal with everyday tasks. My little phone if that things beeps or rings its in always in danger of being short circuited or throw a very long way what makes it valuable to me is music only and when I listen to music and the song is interrupted by a call or message I will go into a fit of rage and have breathing problems. That's my rant time to bury my head into a pillow and sleep it off.

geoff · ‎20-02-2017

hello CT, well how you are feeling is certainly someone suffering in silence, but no one else knows, but you can't be ashamed to tell these people to go away that you're not mentally able to to talk with them, or an alternative way is tell them that you're feeling depressed, remember there is nothing wrong in saying this, then they may attempt to want to help you, but in the long run they will eventually disappear, so I wouldn't feel confident in telling them anything, they will only pass on the rumours to whoever they can, best to just say you're depressed.
Never ever feel ashamed to say or feel this way, it's an illness that can strike anyone, and the reasons why you might not know, so tha's why you need to see your doctor.
If you aren't happy with your currenty doctor then search for another one and if you click onto 'Get Support' there will be a section where you can find other doctors, who are aligned with BB.
You need their help, because you won't be able to overcome this feeling by yourself. Geoff.

Boo1986 · ‎20-02-2017

Hey Crazy Train,

Thanks for your post. Sometimes I feel bad about how angry I get at people, I know everyone is probably doing the best they can, but I have zero tolerance for this sort of thing. I have been told that I am quite rude and come across very short tempered but just can't help it. Sometimes I really try to be nice and exchange pleasantries but it is just such a waste of my time and energy I just can't. I have no time for it. I do appreciate completely if someone actually does care about me and is genuine, but I don't care for the 'hey how are you' type of questions when you are meant to just say "I'm good and you?" and they will proceed to tell you some long/pointless/boring story about their lives which you are meant to care about even though this person has never actually listened when you have needed someone to talk to.

People are very nice on these forums which is lovely, but I was begining to think I was the only one also feeling angry and impatient with this kind of thing. I'm glad you get it and it's not just me.

I don't understand the point of Xmas cards or gift giving, I really think this is ridiculous. A waste of time, money, resources etc... I don't like feeling obliged to do something, or receiving something from someone who only gave out of obligation. At work I have customers asking me the most stupid questions and I just want to tell them to google it and **** off. I seem to have a very short fuse with stupid people. I don't know what it is... I feel angry at them because they are stupid and even more angry with them when they ask me questions that I feel any adult should know. It is getting worse I think. I will speak to my psychologist because it has gone from anger that makes me just want to yell at them to anger that makes me want to punch them.

It makes it hard because I feel isolation is the best way to avoid things like this but then I also feel lonely. I want to be around some people but I don't want to have pointless conversations. I hope I am making sense. Didn't mean to have my own rant but it looks like I did anyway. Sorry. I hope you understand.