Pregnant and feeling down

[MyProfile]

Hi, looking for some comfort, reassurance I guess. I've previously posted in anxiety forums

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/anyone-dealing-with-ergophobia-

And

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/feeling-disconnected-my-world-has-fallen-apart-or-has-it-

Shared those to offer some background. Not feeling especially anxious now, but more down. I think the last few weeks of intense anxiety have drained me.

Found out I am pregnant. It was planned by me and my husband. But when I told him he seemed dismayed, disappointed. A few days later told me he had feelings for someone else (mentioned in previous post). We've been married less than 4 months. Anyway, he told her, and that has helped him to let it go for now.

But I'm feeling so down about it. He knows that. I feel like I have inconvenienced him, that he doesn't love me how he said he did when we got engaged. To be honest, I feel he got married because it's expected by our age (30's) and his family. He says he loves me etc and will make it all up to me (my pregnancy is tainted, our marriage, our wedding day, our engagement - because he was lying to me about someone else.

Anyway,I'm absolutely exhausted. Pregnancy related, and stress. I have one friend I talk to about this, I can't keep bugging her for emotional support. Not close to my family either. Just want someone to talk to. To tell me it'll be ok and I will feel happy and safe in my relationship again, that my husband will let me feel happy about the baby without me feeling ashamed.

[kanga_brumby]

Hi MyProfile as a person you deserved to be respected, and supported. Especially when your pregnant. The last thing you need is a partner who is seeing someone else without telling you what is going on first. If you are married you should be the most important thing in there life apart from work or children. Every thing comes after that, that way both of you are happy. He has broken the trust by seeing someone else. That is not your fault. You should not feel guilty some how he must rebuild your trust again. He should really work on that, thats his responsibility. He has a duty of care to look after both you and your child.

[new_beginning]

I havent got much advice im sorry but sending you lots of hugs.

I went through a similar experience with my ex who basically all through my pregnancy was chatting with someone else and then came the night i went into labour he chose to spend the night with an ex gf than be there to support me. I found it difficult to be happy about my pregnancy and i feel like the first 2 years of our daughters life has been horrible and i feel terrible for that. To make matter worse i unexpectedly fell pregnant to him again and he has said this time that it should have been aborted and wants nothing to do with it. While i feel this is alittle easier because i know straight up that i will be doing it alone it still hurts like hell that i have no one to share the experience with.

But at the end of the day we will be amazing mothers with or without the fathers support. I hope things turn out better for you than it did for me