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Depression

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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 1

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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AyGok Bipolar or depression
  • replies: 2

Hi I was wondering what the difference between bipolar and depression was some doctors say I have bipolar and some say it's just depression I'm don't believe I have mood swings but people say otherwise

Hi I was wondering what the difference between bipolar and depression was some doctors say I have bipolar and some say it's just depression I'm don't believe I have mood swings but people say otherwise

SinkingShip Long time sufferer, first time forumer
  • replies: 6

I've never joined or posted in any depression forums anywhere. As I sit here, watching TV, watching myself type this, it still feels a bit surreal. What am I doing here? What do I hope to get from this? Will anyone even talk to me? Will I be judged? ... View more

I've never joined or posted in any depression forums anywhere. As I sit here, watching TV, watching myself type this, it still feels a bit surreal. What am I doing here? What do I hope to get from this? Will anyone even talk to me? Will I be judged? Will it be seen as a weakness? Tears well in my eyes, and I find myself once again struggling. Heartbreak has brought me here. But first some brief history. I lost my mum many years ago sure to cancer, didn't properly mourn, moved around the country to further my career, burying myself in work, I was running. | Back in my home city, I kept trying to run, trying to cover the pain with alcohol and drugs until one day I broke down, and had the worst thoughts. Instead, I saw a doctor, again broke down, was diagnosed depressive, and placed on medication. Skip forward a few years, I'm a reduced dosage, in a great relationship, I started to let the meds run out, on purpose now I look back on it, to see if I could shake this on my own. After a few days each time I would go back to them as the withdrawals made me too light headed and weird. I lose my job, but stay on the lighter meds, things get tough, but I stay tougher. The meds run out again, I push through the head spins and feeling weird, I get through the other side, I am medication free, feeling ok. Then things start to crack, I'm having second thoughts, did I do this too soon. So I go back on them. Yesterday, my partner of 3+ years, ended our relationship. I haven't felt this pain since my mother passed and I fear I may go back down the road I was once on. I'm so lost, hopelessly lost. I feel like such a failure, a disappointment, and completely worthless. I'm so damn sad, and so damn angry at myself for failing this relationship. I know this pain is probably normal in a relationship, but for some reason, this feels different. This feels like someone is sitting on my chest and belting my head around with a leather belt, like punishment. I want to shake it, I know I have to shake it, but can't climb out of the hole, I just don't want to do anything but go back to bed.

Ruby__2 Mid life issues
  • replies: 11

Feeling very confused . Last child moving out going through menopause and husband and I have some health issues . I went to my doctor who said it sounds like I have anxiety /depression put me on anti depressants and I see a psychologist next week . I... View more

Feeling very confused . Last child moving out going through menopause and husband and I have some health issues . I went to my doctor who said it sounds like I have anxiety /depression put me on anti depressants and I see a psychologist next week . I have been a stay at home mum and haven't done paid employment for over 15 years . I am pleased that I have raised 2 beautiful children who can stand on their own 2 feet (both teachers )but I feel at a loss and worry about the future . My hubby has worked 2 jobs so I could stay home . He was assaulted at work and the ensuing worker's comp issues caused us to sell our home . We are renting and I want to help by working but feel washed up at 54.Any suggestions ? I suddenly don't feel in control of anything . I get tired of putting on a brave face and so I have retreated a bit . My husband is supportive and I am so thankful for that but feel he will tire of it . People tend to dismiss my sadness with "you'll be right "but I don't know how to be anything but a mum . I don't feel confident . Sorry to be rambling but what I want to know is how do I move forward . I feel like I have boxed myself in and others just see me as mum . My husband got us a new dog last year after our old boy died ( 19 ) but I think I am still grieving for him.Any ideas would be appreciated . I think I have been depressed for a long time , so long it feels normal .

TheNotSoDarkHorse Introducing me and my messed up outlook on life! (Rant)
  • replies: 9

Hi all! My name is Brandon. First off I would like to thank anyone who's reading this for taking the time to consider and attempt to understand my thoughts. What I wish to achieve from joining this community I do not know, but either way here is some... View more

Hi all! My name is Brandon. First off I would like to thank anyone who's reading this for taking the time to consider and attempt to understand my thoughts. What I wish to achieve from joining this community I do not know, but either way here is some background info about me in attempt to the clarify the reasons I joined this community: - I am 18 and feel 90 on an emotional level. I can't stop hanging on to some form of a nostalgic depression. It's comfortable but I know it's doing me no good. I can't stop thinking about dying, the legacy I'll leave behind and the child of me I left behind. When I was 6-7, I witnessed my mum getting beaten and abused on a regular basis by my at the time step-father. He threatened to kill us one night before we moved out of the house. I have a feeling these moments caused a bitter resentment to grow inside of me towards myself, my mother and him. I have always fantasized about killing him. - When I was 8-9, CPS came and took me away from my mum and gave me to my grandparents temporarily because she couldn't handle her own stresses as well as looking after me. I lived with them for a year of much struggle, growth and joy. - The last time I saw my mum was when I was 10, there was a custody agreement between my father and her that she would see me every second weekend on sundays. She eventually stopped showing up. My Dad and my stepmom don't understand how I feel, but I have always felt that since that day she never showed up that I have been abandoned. - I was bullied extensively throughout my childhood and teens. yada yada yada...Regular stuff really...Being called an albino, people constantly saying I look way younger than I am, calling me weak, physically harassing me, left out of group stuff and in general I just never felt like I've been on the same page with others my age especially when hanging out in a group. I just desperately want to feel connected to someone or something but I can't. -The only time I feel like the true me is when I am drunk beyond belief. Unfortunately, getting this drunk often results in me breaking down and being reminded of the past. - An associate of mine committed suicide last year which I felt shook me to the core. I often wish it was me instead of him. At least people seemed to care about him when he was here and when he was gone. - I just in general hate who I am and wish to change. I want to love myself and help others love themselves. Thanks for reading, K.I.T all.

seeking_help Depression and 'Part Time' Alcoholism
  • replies: 4

Hi There, This is my first time posting here at BB but have come here to seek help/advice. I have been dealing with anxiety/depression for about 10 years now and have been taking paroxetine for approximately the same time. I have developed excellent ... View more

Hi There, This is my first time posting here at BB but have come here to seek help/advice. I have been dealing with anxiety/depression for about 10 years now and have been taking paroxetine for approximately the same time. I have developed excellent strategies for coping over the years which really boils down to routine, healthy eating and exercise. However, I have a demon that I cant seem to make progress on: part time alcoholism. I say 'part time' because no-one know's I drink (including my wife) and it happens rarely. I officially 'gave up' drinking almost 3 years ago due to my inability to moderate intake and the effect it was having on my depression and thus home life. I went through a good year or so without having a drink as I had a stable 8-5 job where I got to go home to my wife every day. Things changed when I got a new job which involved significant periods of time away from home either overseas or within Australia. It's gotten to the point where I cannot control myself and every day that I spend away from home or travelling, I drink. I'm not just talking a beer or wine with dinner, I'm talking 15-20 standard drinks in a sitting by myself, every day. I've become so adapted to this way of living that I can seemingly 'get away with it' i.e. my colleagues I travel with don't know I do it and I manage to finance the purchase of alcohol in ways my wife cannot find out about. I know it's doing me damage and it is definitely affecting my professional performance which is adding to my depression and anxiety. Once I get home and get back into a routine I always seem to conveniently forget about my issues until the next time I travel. The frequency of my travel has increased to about 8-10 days/month rather than previously when it was 10 days every 3 months or so. I am finally at the point where I know I have a problem and want to quit drinking for myself, rather than for others and I would really appreciate any advice or feedback from people who have had similar experiences. Should I come clean with my wife or should I battle through this on my own? This is the first time I have shared this with anyone. Thanks in advance,

Beltane I'm back here after a long break, just need a friendly ear or three..
  • replies: 2

Heya, I'm Beltane. I used to be a Community Champion here on the forums, and I loved talking to people about their struggles with depression and anxiety. I liked to help any way I can. I stopped being a Champion after life got a bit rough. When I was... View more

Heya, I'm Beltane. I used to be a Community Champion here on the forums, and I loved talking to people about their struggles with depression and anxiety. I liked to help any way I can. I stopped being a Champion after life got a bit rough. When I was last here, I was at the tail-end of a failing relationship, struggling to find the will to break it off. I was also only newly employed after a period of unemployment. Suffice to say, I was stressed. A year later, the relationship is well and truly over, and I'm happy that I ended it, and that we have both moved on (i do not keep in contact). But other than that, I'm feeling quite lost. I feel very much like "is this all life has to offer". My job.... it pays the bills, and it's not the worst job I ever had. But it's so boring, and it's not what I thought it'd be when I left my previous job for it. I've only been in the job a year, and I haven't even finished my studies! So I need to stay in the job until I finish studying, otherwise i can;t finish my studies.... Although it'll only be a few more months at most; it feels like forever. And i don't know what I want to do afterwards. I have no real friends- just a couple of casual friends i catch up with every few months.. Certainly no-one I feel I can confide in. I do have on close friend, he's a guy, and he has romantic feelings for me. Honestly, I have no idea what I feel. It seems like my mind is haywire, and i feel like I don't know who I am, what I want, or how I truly feel. Sometimes I'm happy, sometimes I'm crying hysterically. Sometimes I think I really like this guy, other times... well frankly, I become downright abusive towards him. And i have NEVER been an abusive person. But I find myself becoming red-hot with anger towards him, and I have no idea why. He's caring and sweet and lovely, but for some reason, all those traits annoy me. I feel compelled to hold him at distance, push him away, not let him too close. I think it's because he's not perfect, and I can't seem to cope with that. I always find something about him to nit-pick, even if it's something about him I liked the previous day. I don't have hobbies, I live too far away from things, and I'm too depressed to go anyway. I eat heaps of junk food to make myself feel better, than I feel really angry at myself because I'm gaining weight. I joined a gym and hate going. The highlight of my day was watching my favourite TV show, and i just watched the finale episode. So now what? I'm so unhappy

Lookingforpeace Anxiety about bipolar
  • replies: 3

Hi all I have depression and generalised anxiety. Lately I've been feeling much better, and in those times feel quite happy and confident. Yesterday especially, I felt like I was drunk - was motivated, energetic and felt like singing and dancing! Whi... View more

Hi all I have depression and generalised anxiety. Lately I've been feeling much better, and in those times feel quite happy and confident. Yesterday especially, I felt like I was drunk - was motivated, energetic and felt like singing and dancing! Which got me thinking, what if I have bipolar? I very rarely have these "up" moods, and before my depression hit about 7 years ago I was always a happy, confident person. Then I get frustrated with myself because why can't I just enjoy the moment rather than let my anxiety steal it from me. I did the bipolar test and got a low score but I'm wondering whether I have a mild version of it...

MisterWolf I've destroyed a life I loved
  • replies: 3

Hey all. First post here. I'm a 33 year old guy and my DAS scores are through the roof for depression. I scored 36 (extremely severe) where the average is 9. I've been in weekly therapy since June last year, but only started on a SNRI last week. I th... View more

Hey all. First post here. I'm a 33 year old guy and my DAS scores are through the roof for depression. I scored 36 (extremely severe) where the average is 9. I've been in weekly therapy since June last year, but only started on a SNRI last week. I think my therapist has only now just twigged how depressed I am.I have a girlfriend I love very very deeply. She had some of her own issues around chronic illness. Together with my ongoing anxiety (which is now well controlled) a gap opened between us. Three years ago I met someone else and formed an emotional bond that moved into emotional affair territory. At this time I was trying to support my wife through major surgery and couldn't also put all that on her. Anyway, to cut a long story short I completely effed up how I handled things.After my girlfriend recovered I told her what was going on, how I'd tried to break contact several times with this other woman, etc. We went to counselling for a while but my wife was unable to come back from the injury of trust even though I didn't physically cheat. I was just so confused by this point.We split last July. She's in a pretty good place now. We remain friends. I, on the other hand, am completely socially isolated other than her, and right now am feeling hopeless and like I've irreparably ruined the best thing I ever had in my life. I still love her so much. But she is doing well and I don't want to get in her way. We communicate well and there's just no desire there from her to reconnect as lovers. I feel old, hopeless, like I am bad at love, and just basically broken. I don't think I will ever have that kind of connection with another person again. She really is my perfect woman and I can't beleive I made such stupid choices and ruined it all. I'm crying writing this. I kinda don't want to go on. Everything feels meaningless.Seeing my therapist tomorrow. But I need to be reaching out to others too. So, hello.

jenk I feel sorry for my husband and kids
  • replies: 2

Hi my name is Jenny, I am feeling like I have severe depression. I can feel fine in the morning and begin to cry and gradually get worse, until I feel like I cant deal with life anymore. I see things negatively, no matter what is said and done I eith... View more

Hi my name is Jenny, I am feeling like I have severe depression. I can feel fine in the morning and begin to cry and gradually get worse, until I feel like I cant deal with life anymore. I see things negatively, no matter what is said and done I either feel alienated or a waste of space. Then I feel so bad for my husband who listens to my crazy thoughts and I always say the same thing, like how I feel. I cant believe he puts up with me. Anyway that starts the cycle and I feel I just go around and around like a broken record. I am so sick of myself, And I am going to my GP, but thats even a effort, like an anxiety episode, cause Ive got to confess my craziest thoughts. Does that familiar to anybody?