Employment issues

Boo1986 · ‎15-03-2017

Hi Beyond Blue members,

I'm having a bit of a crisis. I am feeling very anxious at work and get the feeling my boss is trying to get me to quit. It is a small business where he and his wife pretty much run everything and I am (or was) the next level of responsibility. Recently while I was away on annual leave, my bosses wife was filling in for some of my duties. She logged in to my work email account and changed my title in my email signature from Admin manager to Admin assistant. At the moment they have let my contract lapse (it expired in January and they haven't renewed it yet). My boss asks me to do things I am not comfortable with (eg lying) and sets me tasks I cannot complete (eg I do not have access to some files and he knows this).

I want to quit and get back into my passion (teaching) but it has been over a year since I was in a classroom and have lost all my confidence, and looking for work really causes problems with my depression. If I quit before I find a new job I will be unemployed and I know my depression will spiral out of control. I should stay for financial reasons but I don't know how much longer I can take being treated this way. I am expected to know everything and do everything and be responsible for everything, but for the wage I'm getting (less than if I were teaching) I really don't feel it is worth it at all.

I feel terrible, I am frightened and just want to go home and stay in bed forever. I don't want to feel this way.

Any advice?

Thanks guys xo

white knight · ‎15-03-2017

Hi Boo, welcome.

My daughter just got a new teaching position following 12 months off due to anxiety.

She said it is like riding a bike, you dont lose it.

So its your confidence that is taking its toll.

Have a read of these threads. Use google

Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue

Topic: know your limits- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

This married couple have you in their sights. Best to plan now to leave. Imo

Tony WK

MsPurple · ‎15-03-2017

HI Boo

Sorry to hear about your job crisis. It is terrible that your boss isn't treating you with the respect you think you deserve. If possible maybe you should tell your boss you are not comfortable lying in your workplace and you don't think it is appropriate. It may not be possible to do this but it was just a thought. It sounds like you want to move on and find another job. Have you started looking for work elsewhere? I would suggest you start looking while you are still working because it gives you more financial stability. I am assuming you are a qualified teacher, have you considered going back to this. I know you say your anxiety and depression are flaring up at the moment but maybe trying to push out of your comfort zone would be good for you. I would suggest you go see a counsellor about this to help you through it. That's what I did when I moved jobs, talked about my fears and concerns and we together developed strategies on how to reduce my anxiety in the workplace. Another option is you sign up for an agency and they help you look for other admin work. This maybe beneficial as it will reduce the stress of looking for other work. My brother did this and he got some temp work (which later lead to perminant) within two weeks of joining them. It helps to have experience (which you do).

Hope this helps. YOu can do it. I know you will find the perfect job for you

Boo1986 · ‎16-03-2017

Thanks Tony, that is great news about your daughter, gives me so much hope! I'll definitely have a read of those today, I'm sure it will help my current mindset.

I think you are right. If I start preparing now and looking for work, at least I won't be 'up the creek' if they fire me.I have contacted a teaching agency I used to work for and will speak to a few more today, even if I can get 3 days of CRT per week, I'll be making more than what I am on now so I won't be under any financial stress. Maybe after a few months of CRT work I'll realise what your daughter has and not feel so hesitant anymore...

Thanks so much for your help 🙂

Boo1986 · ‎16-03-2017

Thanks MsPurple. Yes I'm a qualified teacher. When I finished uni it was really difficult to get permanent roles so I just did CRT work for a while. I was hoping to buy a house by the time I turned 30 and knew I wouldn't be able to get a loan if I only had casual employment, so I took this job so I would have something full time/permanent and look better to the banks. I turned 30 last year and after a few massive expenses the last couple of years I am really no closer to buying a house so I figure why not go back to doing what I love and be satisfied just renting.

I have been working with my psychologist for the past few months to try to prepare for the extreme anxiety of going to a job interview, but still feel very hesitant. I will try to get back into CRT work with my old agency as that might be a good way to see some of the local schools and meet the staff... might make it much easier to eventually land a role with a little more job security.

I wish the future were a little more certain... hopefully I will be able to read this back in a few months time and be glad I took that leap.... but I worry I will look back in a few months time and wish that I had stayed here and just soldiered on...

Grace888 · ‎16-03-2017

Hello Boo

Knowing you have other irons in the fire - for e.g. active job search - will help you feel like you're back in the driver's seat. And make getting through the next few working days much easier. You can go in thinking, 'this is not forever and this isn't my only option'.

Yes, it seems this couple is behaving in a way best calculated to disempower you and foster a sense of insecurity.

You don't need these people in your life. Please don't let being there start affecting your self-confidence or limiting your horizons.

Lack of shared values is a very natural cause for tension and anxiety in any relationship; whether it's personal or at work. At least that is what I believe.

You sound like a very capable person (perhaps they feel challenged by that) and I wish you all the very best as you take the next step in your working life.

Grace

Boo1986 · ‎16-03-2017

Thanks Grace, I think you are right. Shared values are very important and can make or break any relationship.

I really appreciate your kind words of encouragement and guidance. I think the more actively I start looking for work the more empowered I will feel... and if by chance I find something soon, I will then feel much more optimistic about the future and be able to handle these day-to-day stresses much easier (if I have an end-date to look forward to).

Thank-you so much for your support xo

nogo17 · ‎16-03-2017

Hi Boo, bosses like that irritate me it is nothing short of workplace bullying, and smaller business they seem to think they can get away with such behaviour. Yes best to get a change in sight. A friend of mine is a teacher but took 6 years off to have children, she lost confidence also, but last week scored a job working still with kids but part of the new NDIS scheme, (national disability scheme)it's big everywhere at the moment and lots of work, her role is like a liaison officer for inclusive education she loves it.. My sister is also a teacher but she got a bit sick of the classroom thing and now working doing curriculum .. Might be worth checking what's out there, my friend didn't even know the role existed. Interviews are always daunting, I get nervous myself, I have panel interviews, they stress me out.. Things will work out, just look beyond the classroom X

Boo1986 · ‎16-03-2017

Thanks Nogo, It is good to hear that your sister and friend have found roles that fit them now. It's very comforting.

Can I ask, when you have been interviewed by a panel, what techniques have you used to help your nerves?

MsPurple · ‎16-03-2017

Hi Boo. I wish work could be more certain too. I'm in a period of unemployment (ok well I'm casual but getting like 1 shift a week) and I'm a qualified dietitian. It can be frustrating but I'm just applying for admin and nutrition jobs and crossing my fingers and toes. It will happen for us. We won't let our anxiety take over at our new jobs. We will just try our best, listen to our psychs advice and take it one step at a time