Does it ever end?

[Col_1985]

I've been fighting depression on and off for over 10 years. Will it ever end because it feels like I'm fighting a losing battle. I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my life. I also don't ever want to go back on medication, that just made me feel num. 

[Guest_3712]

Hi Col_1985,

I wish I could answer your question definitely but I'm sorry I can't. What I do know as a fellow sufferer of nearly 10 years, there are some really good times when I think all is well with the world, stars area aligned or whatever and I can carry on.

then usually out of no-where- BANG! it all goes to ****. I am sad, angry, withdrawn, scared and in pain. Unlike you I am still on meds although a lot less and no opiates since August, but what I am on keeps me relatively calm and able to function .

Are you seeing anyone to talk to professionally at the moment. Finding a good psych who understands is hard but if you can you might find it helpful to just get it all out there.

I wish you all the best with those demons in your head and hope you feel like replying as I am happy to talk.

Kind Regards

Stressless 

[Col_1985]

I think I do need professional help, as I've have already lost my girlfriend and nearly my job due to it this year. And also tried to take own life again
 

'beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.'

[Guest_3712]

Hi Col_1985,

I am so glad you replied, but so sad to hear you are having such a struggle.  You have taken a huge step reaching out here, so I am confident you can find the strength to go one step further and get professional help.

If you don't have someone at the moment there are plenty of people on this site for you. Call and talk to someone - they are trained to help and a lot of these people have been where we are now.

You have been fighting for ten years so that tells me you are a strong person, Col

Please post when you can

take care

Stressless

[geoff]

dear Col, you have to cope with a hell of a lot of issues that are definitely causing depression, and how can I say I'm so sorry for you.

What is the worst for you at the moment, losing your girlfriend, your job or the depression.

This is a rather difficult question as the the three of them could all be the same, but sometimes one edges forward more than the others.

I know that the last two could be a product from the depression, or in turn because these two have happened then they has caused you to have this illness.

Any new medication could be on a low dosage so that it will slowly build up with in your body, so this would ease any complications. Geoff.

[Guest_3712]

Hi Col,

Hope you are doing Ok.  I would love for you to post back .

here to support you

Stressless

[Neil_1]

Hi Col

Stressless has provided you with a couple of great posts and I’d very much like to echo those thoughts myself.

The last post you wrote, and in particular the last sentence has got me very concerned.  Can you please seek professional help now … sorry for the bluntness but your welfare is at stake here.  Please call either Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636)  or Lifeline (131114) for immediate support and assistance.  After a short while, they should be able to get a professional counsellor to come and see you. 

Are you able to please let us know that you’re able to do this?

Having a relationship break-up is never an easy thing … it hurts like crazy and it does take time to heal from that.  I’m pleased to hear though that you were able to keep your job.  That is important on so many levels;  financial, security, keeping a sense of self-worth and dare I say it again, financial.  But also in most cases, there are other people there and just sometimes, it can happen that one or two of them might become your friends – you know, nothing major, but just an acquaintance, someone you can have a casual chat with.

I hope you can get back to us Col … please post again so we know that you’re at the very least, “ok”.

Kind regards

Neil