Negative thoughts

[Dexter2748]

Why is it that my mind never thinks about the positive stuff happening in my life? I've recently made new friends, moved into a great apartment and landed myself a really nice guy who is so supportive with my current health issues. Yet I my mind only cares about the stuff that could go wrong/the friends I don't have/the extra support I need but too scared to reach out for.

Not a single day passes without me wishing to somehow disappear. I take medication for my depression/anxiety and have started to see a psychologist but know it could be a while yet before I start to see some positive changes. What are some tips to make the days easier to get through in the meantime? 

[Katy100]

Tips ... 

Take baby steps ... one at a time.  

Be proud of yourself when you achieve something, even it is a tiny thing.  

Yesterday I had two small things that I wanted to get done.  After putting them both off for hours, I compromised with myself and did one of them.  It was good.  I aim to do the other thing tomorrow.  Today is a day off for good behavior.  

Find some things you like doing ... or that at least takes up some time.  Recently I have been listening to a load of old music on YouTube.  Try online games, or other chatboards or social media, or reading, or art and craft, cooking, exercise or ... 

What are your interests?  

Choose a "mantra" that you can repeat to yourself to make you feel more positive, or focussed on good things.  

I used to believe in planning three things to do each day.  Now I'm down to one.  But, that's good - often achievable. 

Get post-it notes and write down when something good happens.  Decorate it and stick it on your computer, or bathroom mirror, or beside your bed (or everywhere).  

Today, I could write "I smiled yesterday", or "I remembered to wish two friends a happy birthday".  

So, celebrate the positive.  Accept that change for the better will come slowly.  Talk yourself up - to yourself.  

[Neil_1]

Hi Dexter  

You are not on your own with this feelings.  A lot of people suggest things like they wish they could runaway, etc and you’ve mentioned you wish you could disappear.  But by doing either of these things, when you end up where you’re going or you reappear, in both instances, your mind will still be the same and the horrible illness will still be there.  

Everyone is different in how to put in coping mechanisms to help them through each day.  I tend to frequent here quite a bit and read other people’s posts and their issues and through that I am able to respond to them with either advice or guidance or simply just to place a message of support – just something really to help them along a little.  In a way, I find this not only therapeutic, but also it occupies my mind for a while and hence, it shoves my dog back just inside his kennel for a little while.   It’s probably not the best solution as it is not a solution to the problem … it’s just a band-aid measure I think … but after a while, he reaches his paw out of the kennel, with his highly sharpened claws and scrapes the band-aid off and then he bolts out of the kennel again with teeth bared.  

 I exercise every day … gym five days a week and on the other two days, I do other fitness related stuff.  The gym for me is a massive stress/tension releaser as I push out big workouts and that again also helps me.  

Dexter, when you mention the extra support you need, are you referring to getting yourself to a GP and from that, hopefully a referral to a psych for professional counselling?  Although, you wrote in your 2nd para that you are on meds (so tick to the option of seeing a GP) and also that you are seeing a psych (again tick for that option as well), which is brilliant on your behalf.  

So are you able to share what you mean with regard to the extra support and reaching out for?   By you coming on her Dexter, it proves already that you have taken that step to reach out – to seek out help and that can be a huge step to take, but kudos to you, as you’ve proved that you are able to do this;  you have done this. 

Also through all sorts of methods, I hope that we can extinguish your scared feelings … by you coming on here and talking with like-minded people and to realise that this disease, this awful disease is so widespread and so many people are suffering from it and to know that we are all more or less in the same boat … and we’re here with you and we’ll do all we can to try and removed those feelings that you have about being scared. 

 I think it’s possibly a matter of being able to accept it … I think at that stage, you then know you’ve got it and there’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

  Ok, so I’ve rambled on again in my usual fashion, sorry about that.  I hope a small portion of above has rung a bell for you and even perhaps made a little sense;  I hope so.   And write back as often as you feel like it as well.  

Kind regards  

Neil