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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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LyndaSZ Is this as good as it gets?
  • replies: 2

I can't help thinking that 'what if it never gets any better than this?" I want to be the person I used to be so badly. I have been like this for over two years and I don't like it. But this might be a good day and I just don't realise it. I don't wa... View more

I can't help thinking that 'what if it never gets any better than this?" I want to be the person I used to be so badly. I have been like this for over two years and I don't like it. But this might be a good day and I just don't realise it. I don't want to live like this any more, I don't want to be sad, tired, grumpy, horrible any more. I just want to lock myself away from the world and never come out again. I want to be alone all the time and I hate it that the family wants my attention. I feel so useless and anything I try I am sure to fail at because that's about all I do well, is fail. Nothing excites me any more and I really don't want to even be here a lo of the time. I am feeling so fed up and apathetic but this might just be as good as it gets for the rest of my days.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

harry308 I have destroyed my wife and marriage
  • replies: 7

For the last 3 years I have struggled with depression to the point my wife wants out of our marriage. I took a huge step today amd went to my gp and got some help. I have also booked into see a councilor but I think it is to little to late. Trying to... View more

For the last 3 years I have struggled with depression to the point my wife wants out of our marriage. I took a huge step today amd went to my gp and got some help. I have also booked into see a councilor but I think it is to little to late. Trying to stay positive now that I can get things back on track I just feel so alone my family are distant and dont seem to care and I dont know how to tell friends what is going on. Just looking for advice and support.

Sleepyleelee What can I do
  • replies: 1

I have a huge problem and there's no way out of it, it's a big long hot mess of a problem and for years I've been trying to think a way out of it but every time I think I've got a way out it blows up in my face. I used to be such a happy person, even... View more

I have a huge problem and there's no way out of it, it's a big long hot mess of a problem and for years I've been trying to think a way out of it but every time I think I've got a way out it blows up in my face. I used to be such a happy person, even though my life has been way worse than it is right now even then I was happy in general. But this problem has just destroyed me. I never knew I could be so disabled by something. now I spend hours each day and night crying and I've thought about ending it almost every day for over a year. No one knows though, In fact most people probably think I'm fairly happy, and on the rare occasions I'm around other people i do usually feel a little better. But I can't go out much and that never used to bother me. Wish I could go back to how I used to be. One night I came close to doing it.. well close-ish, I thought about doing it that night rather than just someday soon, but I didn't actually attempt or anything, and I wished I had someone to talk to, someone to tell me that there IS a way out, but I wouldfall apart the second I tried to talk about it, I HATE crying in front of people, yet I do it so easily, god it's so annoying, I'm never going to have the guts to call one of those hotlines, I just find it too embarrassing even though I know they've heard it all before, it's also why I most certainly couldn't talk to someone I KNOW .. That would be even more humiliating. I'd almost rather leave this earth than talk about itt to someone yet at the same time I want to so very badly. Theres one thing that keeps me here, it's my dog. That's probably pretty disturbing to hear if you know that I have two children, but honestly I wouldn't be worried about them, they'll miss me I know, but they'll be taken care of and they'll get over it. But my dog who is on my lap almost all day, who follows me about the house as I do my stuff, she would just never get over it. And I'm lucky I have her I guess. She keeps me alive. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

still_hopeful This internal struggle is so dark and scary
  • replies: 4

Been struggling with anxiety and bouts of depression the past 9 months.I was having mild panic attacks in meetings at work - nauseous, couldn't think straight or do public speaking. I was dizzy and would just freak out. Often I'd fake being 'sick' an... View more

Been struggling with anxiety and bouts of depression the past 9 months.I was having mild panic attacks in meetings at work - nauseous, couldn't think straight or do public speaking. I was dizzy and would just freak out. Often I'd fake being 'sick' and explain my feeling off / nervousness by saying I was unwell. The prospect of a meeting brought on so much dread. Had some social anxiety, even with my best mates. I just felt off. Like a glass wall was between them and myself and I couldn't get through it. I couldn't be myself. I was seeing my pysch weekly over the past few months and then started on a low dose of medication. Had some side effects - headaches, inability to concentrate, drowsiness and occasional thoughts of suicide. Have been on that for over a month and it was slowly wearing off and I was feeling more anxious and have up'd my dose as per GP rec's. It's made me really irritable, depressed and I even lashed out at my ex partner last night and felt so terrible.This week I've had two nights where I have woken up in an absolute panic. Terror. So much anxiety and sadness. I can't stop crying. I've had to take the whole week off work. It's almost 4pm and I still haven't gotten out of bed this hasn't happened to me before like this ever. I have been lying here crying all day - feeling so alone and sad. Even though I have been reaching out to amazing friends who are there. I'm so lucky in lots of ways. But all I can think about is ending my own life. This is so hard. I feel like a burden on my friends and workplace. I don't like my job and need to change. I'm not sure what to do. Take time off? How on earth do you get better? Should I stop giving the medication a go - it was working for a couple of weeks once the initial side-effects wore off... and I finally remembered what it was like to feel normal again. My life just feels so empty. I'm single. 30. A young woman with a great job. But I don't know where I'm going and what I want. I know my problems are petty compared to others doing it so much more tough - but this internal struggle is so dark and scary. I just want out. I wish it would go away. Does it get better? How does one break through the glass wall? Do suicidal thoughts wane? They scare me. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Jet21 Feel worthless
  • replies: 8

I feel worthless and like nobody likes me. I have constant struggles in my mind about what others think of me. I put up a happy face at work but at home I just have tears in my eyes

I feel worthless and like nobody likes me. I have constant struggles in my mind about what others think of me. I put up a happy face at work but at home I just have tears in my eyes

hann1805 Living with depression
  • replies: 8

I need some help, I have been living with depression and anxiety for a while now and I am really struggling at this point, I have no motivation to do anything anymore, I have a good job, stable relationship and a roof over my head but I can't seem to... View more

I need some help, I have been living with depression and anxiety for a while now and I am really struggling at this point, I have no motivation to do anything anymore, I have a good job, stable relationship and a roof over my head but I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm just not good enough. I'm down all the time and I've even had to take days off work because of a mental breakdown. I don't want this to affect my relationship, my partner and I have been together for a year now and he's been very supportive but I don't want to keep putting him through my episodes of anxiety attacks and severe depressive states, I also don't want this to affect my job. They have also been very understanding through this difficult time but I don't want to turn up to work in tears and breathless before going home after half an hour of work. If someone could help me figure out how to deal with this so it doesn't become a serious problem I would be forever grateful.

HelenM I don't understand why my depression returns
  • replies: 12

My name is Debs and I'm 54. I'm coming on here in some anxiety. Can people answer my question and more importantly will my situation warrant the support I need, even the 'there, there' answers would help and obviously no reply doesn't. However it is ... View more

My name is Debs and I'm 54. I'm coming on here in some anxiety. Can people answer my question and more importantly will my situation warrant the support I need, even the 'there, there' answers would help and obviously no reply doesn't. However it is the case that my depression doesn't need the help many people need. So. 12 years ago I suffered a severe depression that was a living hell. I was gradually recovering when two years later I went into another, not just as bad, due to something happening. From there on I've been suffering from recurrent depression, sometimes with a few months between and once I had a years break. At the end of January I woke one morning feeling low and there it was back. It is mild and has been getting milder over the years. But it is messing up my life because most of the time everything is an effort. I am no longer able to work (that's been for 6 years now) and so help in a charity shop which is a big help and distracts me quite well. I have a really good husband, good friends. My kids are grown up and I have 2 little grandsons. When I'm well I'm very happy and over the years have adjusted to a more limited lifestyle. But I can never reconcile myself to these episodes of depression. I can never feel confident they will pass and when I ask people how they know I'll get better they say 'because you always do'. The pattern of the depressions changes every so often; in length and anything between solid depression to good week/bad fortnight. Just now it's occasional good day. I take medication and can't have it increased. I've been told it's working (which I believe) and that these episodes are part of my chronic depression. By the way it usually comes for no reason. In fact life had been going very well prior to this episode. So, is it chemical. If it is what makes it go right again. If anyone knows I'd love the answer. Whilst I know there aren't any guarantees I respond quite well to logic. As I've already said I feel uncomfortable. I know this is minor. But right now I'm wishing I could fast forward my life so that it was over and I could go in peace.

Guest11 Lost & Confused
  • replies: 52

Hi guys after some advice here, I also just need to get some things off my chest and posting here is easier than trying to talk to people. I practically spent all last year in a numb, apathetic state where I completely lost interest in everything imp... View more

Hi guys after some advice here, I also just need to get some things off my chest and posting here is easier than trying to talk to people. I practically spent all last year in a numb, apathetic state where I completely lost interest in everything important to me and I also avoided interacting with friends and family unless I absolutely had to. I spent my days distracting myself in any way possible and my nights were spent lying in bed just waiting and hoping that I'd fall asleep so my mind would stop wandering. Mid December I started to feel a little bit better, probably because christmas was coming and I knew I was going to be spending it with my family. I felt like things were getting back on track and that I'd be ok again. Come late January, early February I felt miserable again for no reason I can think off. I remember one night broke down into tears one night for no reason, alone in my room. Nothing had triggered it, but on and off after that I had more cry spells and I felt terrible some days. I couldn’t sleep very well after that, and I sleep very little now. Lately I've noticed that I've become somewhat worse, and sometimes I become very emotional when in public places and I feel as if I can’t hold it in. My health has also suffered I rarely sleep, I get migraines and have probably gained around 10 kilos. I don’t feel like I can trust anyone enough to tell them about how I’ve been feeling, although I think my stepmother suspects something is not right, even so I just can't bring myself to talk about it. I have no close friends; I haven't spoke to to most of them in a while and my so called best friend abruptly dropped contact for reasons unknown. I feel that even if I were stll close to any of them, I still couldn’t tell them I've been to see a GP and had a mental health plan prepared, and saw a psychologist once (second appt in 2 weeks) I just don't know what is wrong, I remember periods of feeling down and depressed constantly for months at a time, other times I remember feeling on top of the world. Like I was invincible or nothing could stop me.

irishgirl Need courage to ask for help
  • replies: 7

Hi, I feel like my mental health is getting worse by the day n im finding it harder to find reasons to fight anymore. I know i need to go to a GP and ask for help but I dont know how. I cant talk out loud about whats going on and afraid if I do Ill h... View more

Hi, I feel like my mental health is getting worse by the day n im finding it harder to find reasons to fight anymore. I know i need to go to a GP and ask for help but I dont know how. I cant talk out loud about whats going on and afraid if I do Ill have a mental breakdown but also if i dont, I dont know how to continue. Need some adivce

Bok124 Worthless
  • replies: 5

I don't even know where to begin. Today I woke up just really upset and I started crying. I've had a few of these episodes but today felt the worse. It's all a feeling of guilt, worthlessness and a lot of other things. What really gets me down the mo... View more

I don't even know where to begin. Today I woke up just really upset and I started crying. I've had a few of these episodes but today felt the worse. It's all a feeling of guilt, worthlessness and a lot of other things. What really gets me down the most is thinking of my partner who has been so supportive. I hate the fact that I feel like I can't make him as happy as he should. I notice when I am just snappy and irritable towards him, I sometimes see the look of hopelessness in face and then I think about why he's even sticking around and dealing with me. He tells me he's not going anywhere and I believe him but I think he just offers me so much more than I can offer him. At the moment I am working part time after getting made redundant from my last job. I've found it hard to find full time work and while the job I'm in now is not ideal, it's paying the bills. So some feeling of hopelessness and being stuck stems from the job I'm in and not being able to find full-time work. There has also been a massive pay difference from my old job to this new one so that's also a contributing factor to feeling down. In all honesty, the job thing is such small potatoes when I look at the big picture. I have a loving partner, I'm close with my family and friends and I get along amazingly with my partners family. I have everything that I want and more. When I am in the right headspace, I can step back and be so thankful for everything that I have. My family and friends don't know about my depression so I think they think that my life is perfect, though I don't pretend my life is perfect, I have just never told them that I've seen a psychiatrist for help in the past. I stopped seeing the psychiatrist after a few sessions as I couldn't make my last appointment cos of work and I thought I was feeling and coping a lot better. Only to realize that I didn't just develop depression recently, I think I've had it for a few years now and due to the redundancy situation and not working for 10 months just gave it a lot of time to boil and worsen. I took the day off work today cos I couldn't stop crying in the morning and I have this immense guilt from not going to work. They know that I've been having personal issues but at the same time I can't expect them to just keep understanding. I guess I'm afraid that they'll ask me to step down from my role. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for taking the time to read.