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Distressed and Overwhelmed
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Hello Everyone..
This is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do - and I write this from my office desk, whilst my mind is running off in a direction of its own.
I am 34, living in Sydney, enjoy my job (has its moments), and is generally a Happy go lucky person.
I'd say my mental health struggled the most when I moved back home for 10months in 2024, I thought it would be easy moving back home and spending time with my parents etc - this was not the case, and it threw me into a spiral of sorts where there were weeks I would only leave the house on Tues/Wed to travel from the Central Coast into Sydney (office days). I don't know if it was a generational gap or stubbornness on ones part but the same feeling and downward thoughts are happening again (and, I have relocated back to Sydney in Jan2025). I could possibly pinpoint the moments and interactions that just throw my mind out, but over the last few months it's as though there is a darkness that just overhangs, from face value I am always smiling - it's on the inside where I know and can feel that something isn't right - when I try and detach myself away from my family, it just gets worse. I am not going to lie, however there are days when I get back home I just want to black out and not wake up to do it all again.
I am open to mindfullness tips, de-stress techniques etc, it just feels like I am carrying so much weight to the point that I can't go on and continue, I am tired of it all.
Thank you in advance, for anyone that reaches out.
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Dear Unsettled_Mind~
Welcome to the Forum. It's a good place to come to as you can be here as long as you like and if you look around will see others with similar problems and how they coped.
Returning to live with your parents sounds great -until you actually do it, at which time you can get a shock. You are not the same person who left the nest, you have grown, are independent with a good job and are used to freedom. You parent on the other hand may still see you as the person you used to be, and feel a need to control or help. They now be set in thier ways as well, and find another living with another again difficult.
It is not the slightest bit surprising you find this very upsetting and try to avoid them when you can. That's not being a 'bad' or unappreciative offspring, it is simple self-defense. I'm glad that stay is now over, even if it has left you with an unhappy set of feelings. Life is now unpleasant, and you feel things are getting worse and you just want to 'black out'.
May I suggest this is a situation where you need some assistance? I could never drag myself out of a similar set of feelings on my own. In a long consultation with your GP you can describe in detail how you are feeling and see if the whole thing has left you so down clinical assistance is needed. In all probability a quite small amount of assistance can make a big difference.
You did ask about mindfulness, and I'd suggest the free smartphone app I use myself, Smiling Mind. This has all levels of exercises, there is even one for me, who has the attention span of a goldfish and needs gently steering back on track quite frequently.
It does take practice to start with, however will be surprisingly effective and leave you feeling calm - which is a good time to do something you enjoy. As an example when down I don't have the patience to read a favorite book, after Smiling Mind I do and can get carried away from life's troubles.
If you would like to come back and say how you are getting on that would be great.
Croix
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Hello
I can understand how troubles with family can be exhausting, confusing, frustrating and painful. I think that you looking for ways to relax is really good as it's much easier to make sense out of it all when our emotions calm down little bit.
Walking or any mild physical activity works for me. I usually try to align my mind with reality and focus on the big picture trying not to get too confused in small details. It can be easy for our families to tangle us up, I'd just remember that it's their tangles not yours. All we can do is what feels like the right thing to us and hope that they'll do the right thing back. Sometimes when it gets too hard, it can be for everyone's benefit to have a bit of a break from each other to calm down and deal with things later in a more relaxed way.
I hope that this helps little bit, please take care and let us know how you're going whenever you feel like it
