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Hi, Im 15 years old and im going through depression I don’t have my family’s support but I have an amazing bf that I have been with for nearly three years now he has helped me so much but I feel like lately it’s been to much for me and him to handle I'm trying out this website to see if I can build up my mental health. any tips on how to control emotions better I just wanna be the best for him, I also have trust issues and fear he’s gonna get with another girl better then me can anyone relate or used to fear this but got over it…
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Hello
dealing with depression can be very hard, I think it's really good that you share your story and want to get more help. Having a loving partner in our life can help a lot too.
Relaxation techniques can keep our emotions under control. I usually go for a walk and try to align my thoughts with what is actually happening rather than with what I'm worried that might happen. It's not always easy but it's worth a try. There are a lot of other techniques that can help you too as we are all different and different things work for us.
I can understand how our worries can take over. Just because it's possible for something bad to happen, it feels like it might happen any time. It's hard to realise that it's not happening yet and that it might not ever happen. Worries can spoil the good times we have. I know it can be hard but it's worth a try to focus on the current good things and not to worry about something that hasn't happened yet.
Please let us know how you're coping or if you have any questions
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Hey there,
Thank you so much for reaching out, welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this awful period.
What is good to hear is that your boyfriend has been so supportive. That's really good that you have this kind of support.
Have you had a chat to a doctor, therapist, or school counsellor about how you're feeling? Sometimes they can have some good advice to share with you to help you feel better and to make things easier.
When you say "control emotions", which emotions are you talking about specifically? I've definitely got some emotional regulation strategies for me when I'm struggling with certain emotions (eg: anger, sadness), and I can share a few general ones here.
For me, anger is one of those emotions that comes up really suddenly, so I need to be prepared. I feel anger most in my upper body, so I tend to have regulation strategies that focus on getting out all that energy in a really safe way. Closing my eyes and breathing it all out of my body can sometimes help. I carry around stress-balls to get out my anxious and nervous energy, which also tend to be quite spontaneous. For sadness, which tend to be more of a prolonged emotion, I have creative pursuits like singing or writing that help me deal with that.
With regards to those difficult thoughts around your boyfriend seeing other people, there are ways that you can tackle these in the moment.
- Firstly, remember that our thoughts don't necessarily reflect reality, and that it can be good to sit back sometimes and just watch them pass. You can think of them as logs floating down a river, or clouds floating across the sky - sometimes they pop into our minds, and we have the power to either hold onto them or watch them drift away. Just imagine that thought floating by on a river then floating away, if you can.
- Secondly, think about where that thought has come from - was it something he said or did? Was it something somebody else did? Did you see it somewhere online or on TV and imagined yourself in that scenario? This can help you recognise where these thoughts may be floating into your mind from.
- Thirdly, can you think of anything that supports that thought? What about something that might contradict that thought? Something he's said, or something he's done that has given you greater confidence that this is unrealistic.
If you'd feel comfortable, the other option is having a chat to him just to let him know that sometimes you do have these thoughts, but that it's not necessarily a reflection of anything that he has done, or that you think he will do. An open, honest conversation can be really helpful to talk through those doubts that you may have.
I hope this helps, and please feel free to keep chatting with us if you'd like. We're here to support you.
All the best, SB
