Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
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Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

All discussions

HaydenK I don't feel real. But feel all too concious.
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I've recently gone to the psychologist to try understand this troubling pessimistic and suicidal thoughts that promptly follow after being exposed to any portions of society, whether that's a day out, school day, or visiting family, I cannot shake th... View more

I've recently gone to the psychologist to try understand this troubling pessimistic and suicidal thoughts that promptly follow after being exposed to any portions of society, whether that's a day out, school day, or visiting family, I cannot shake this seemingly permanent depression. Alongside being counselled and medicated for my depression, I was loosely told that I have traits that align with the autism spectrum. This is where my sense of self truly took a turn for the worst. I cannot stand the idea that the person I've known for 17 years is now a over-thinking, anxious mess of a person. I constantly think of the idea of not being conscious. But I also wonder of things that may make me happy, or things that are concurrently making me more depressed. But this seems to worsen my angst of overthinking. In retrospect, I want to understand the magnitude that my selfish desires has in comparison to the third world problems and conflicts. I feel like such a chud. I feel like a failure to the social integrity of my family, me being some social outcast that contradicts the families goals and aspirations. Causing me to drift apart. It doesn't bother me though. But it causes a moral alarm that constantly reminds me that this isn't right, because of me. Which eventually lead to my family wasting resources, time and money on trying to help me. but I'm the waste. The good thing of nothing, allows nothing to not be able to burden something. I've lost all aspirations and motivations that I used to have. I don't care about my future or current being. I can't imagine my future, because I don't want a future. There I go again. Being so selfish again. Taking life for granted. Stealing the future they should've gotten. I haven't been living for a few years now. I feel less than a shell of the person I was. I want to scream. I want to explode. why am I like this. I'm too conscious. But I haven't lived a life worth living. What does that make me. An observer. A living ghost. A delusion psycho. I'm merely a product of what's I've consumed. I've been given everything in life. how does that set me up for when I leave home. Selfish, selfish, selfish. Am I selfish? I've lived, no, I've endured life on autopilot for 17 years. how much more selfish can I be. What will it take for me to value life again? I know I must help myself. But what if I don't want myself.

ivee Giving up on myself
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Being burdened with acne has shot my self-esteem the lowest its ever been. I’ve been avoiding my friends bcos I feel ugly showing my face. I avoid going outside and going to work cos the sun and my job makes my acne worse. I cant even afford a dermat... View more

Being burdened with acne has shot my self-esteem the lowest its ever been. I’ve been avoiding my friends bcos I feel ugly showing my face. I avoid going outside and going to work cos the sun and my job makes my acne worse. I cant even afford a dermatologist. All I tell myself now is theres no hope, its easier if I didnt exist and end things. I really have tried to make things better but I feel its out of my control. Its funny, when I see acne on others I dont care about it and don’t judge them. But I dont give myself the same grace. Its frustrating and deeply debilitating how shameful I feel to show my face proudly in public. All I think abt is how others will perceive it and fear that the marks on my face is all they see of me. This feels like such a small problem in the scale of things, but I’m sick of looking in the mirror and seeing failure. With how I’m so unmotivated I just can’t see things getting any easier. I wish I was strong enough

gurindjiwoman How can I create new connections?
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Good Afternoon I am approaching 28 years of age, and I can say with absolute confidence that I am incredibly lonely. I have previously befriended people who were secretly jealous of me, or could not stand me. People have lied and gossiped about me to... View more

Good Afternoon I am approaching 28 years of age, and I can say with absolute confidence that I am incredibly lonely. I have previously befriended people who were secretly jealous of me, or could not stand me. People have lied and gossiped about me to other people, which has affected who I became friends with in the past. I have had to deal with adults living with undiagnosed narcissistic personality disorder who wanted to do nothing but exert control over my life, with their "flying monkeys" enabling this. There are even people who I bump into often in public who pretend that I am not there. Most of these people are people who I have never spoken a word to, but, my gut instinct tells me that they have heard something negative about me, based on my previous interactions with mutuals. I spend most of my time with my family, but as I am getting older, I am facing an exorbitant amount of pressure to act neurotypical... when I am not. I feel like I do not stand a chance at forming healthy relationships with anyone. I am now hesitant to put myself out there. I would describe myself as someone who is polite, gentle, keeps to herself, looks after herself, is quite intelligent, and is genuinely confident with who I am/who I am becoming. I am also a university student who has goals in place for her future. I am currently seeking psychiatry in the public mental health system, but the problem that I am experiencing here is that psychiatrists rotate every six months to a year. I cannot afford to seek psychiatry via a private practice. I live with autism (neurodevelopmental disorder), schizophrenia (mental health condition) and postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) (chronic illness).

Miki9 I cant do anything right
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I feel like i pushed myself to the limit countless times trying to improve my life giving 100% in effort and im always behind where i started, its like my mind doesnt listen to me in everything i do, even the most simple stuff i mess it up like nobod... View more

I feel like i pushed myself to the limit countless times trying to improve my life giving 100% in effort and im always behind where i started, its like my mind doesnt listen to me in everything i do, even the most simple stuff i mess it up like nobody could, i constantly fight with my family because i now cannot control my anger and emotions, i feel that everything and everyone would be better without me, whats the point in life if you are just miserable and no matter what you do you cant improve it, you are just waking up to another day in a nightmare, the only reason i havent left is because how much it would hurt my family, they put so much efforr in helping me through my stupis studies and i still manages to fail those and all we got in the end was wasted time and everyone else got exhausted for no reason. As for my education, i was always no good at anything, i failed always despite trying, i couldnt even make a decision in what course i wanted to study and i completed several i realised i didnt want to, i eventually made it to uni and at the end of my course im realising i wont work in this job. I put everything to a stop to try and focus on at least 1 thing in my life so i would not be so fragmented and focused on just this study and still managed to fail many times. its like a vicious cycle where i try something, anything and fail and i get angry and react and drop my study or anything else i try and im angry at myself for making each and every one of those decisions. I see people half my age getting through basic things like driving like a normal human being and here i am still trying to make friends or social circles because i suck even at socializing. I always hear dont compare yourself but easy to say when you dont have stupid brain that doesnt listen or focus for 2 seconds. Everything in life has always felt so hard that life feels not even worth it, it doesnt even make sense to keep on going when you are just around for pain and suffering.

foxythepirate01 please make it stop
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im getting tired man. cant sleep at all. try to talk to people, try to support them. they either don’t care or don’t want to talk to me. i only want to help people, find people who understand somewhat what i’m going through. i cant trust anyone right... View more

im getting tired man. cant sleep at all. try to talk to people, try to support them. they either don’t care or don’t want to talk to me. i only want to help people, find people who understand somewhat what i’m going through. i cant trust anyone right now, even family. cut my mates off that were treating me like shit and they keep trying to contact me, even contacting my mum. i know they just want to use me again. more pressure to get a job. i know i need to but most days i cant even get out of bed. i’ve already messed my life up so much cause of my mental health. i need a way out. i cant take this shit anymore. i just want everyone to get off my back. please.

Guest_26778029 Reaction to partners heart attack
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My partner had a heart attack last Thursday, stents put in on Friday home on Saturday and I’m finding it quite difficult. He’s fine but I think I’m having a delayed reaction and feel very flat.

My partner had a heart attack last Thursday, stents put in on Friday home on Saturday and I’m finding it quite difficult. He’s fine but I think I’m having a delayed reaction and feel very flat.

T_dwd A smouldering wreck of an emotional state
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My every waking hour is plagued by a deep and raging sadness, like an underground wildfire it burns. This insidious hatred weighs on my chest with every breath. The line between an empty, lashed, and black eyed reaction to unfamiliar things and a pur... View more

My every waking hour is plagued by a deep and raging sadness, like an underground wildfire it burns. This insidious hatred weighs on my chest with every breath. The line between an empty, lashed, and black eyed reaction to unfamiliar things and a purely callous soul is blurred by such a sadness, as it makes a clear, rational mind turbid by disturbing an unsettled layer of the atomised and well preserved memory of regrets and pains. And by clouding judgement with emotion, no meaningful assessment of the self is possible until moments of absolute serenity and clarity are possible. Though these moments, by virtue of inviting self-perception, themselves become a debate between the superego and the ego. In a state of constant self-conflict and ever weary from unseen battling, how can I ever hope to have the mental strength to, perhaps, exercise? Or worse: love? Without love, or rather, without being able to show love without the sharp and dubious insult of “pretender” hanging at the back of my mind, even more, how can I conquer my own despicable second self? It is an isolating pain, and the pain is isolation. Perhaps it's a temporary thing, but since it is chiefly the regret of a decades worth of actions, I can scarcely believe in any short term explanation.

LunaGray92 Chronic Illness, Deep Depression and feelings of Isolation
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Hi All, Two years ago I was hospitalised and Diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. At the time, I was 31 and the fittest/healthiest I'd ever been. I swam, danced, gymmed 6 days a week. I counted calories, already had removed most processed sugars from my d... View more

Hi All, Two years ago I was hospitalised and Diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. At the time, I was 31 and the fittest/healthiest I'd ever been. I swam, danced, gymmed 6 days a week. I counted calories, already had removed most processed sugars from my diet etc. This healthy period of my life came off the back of a very traumatic breakup a couple years prior that I was still struggling with. So it was a bit of a surprise when suddenly I was diagnosed with an auto-immune condition. I love food - the first throughts I had while in the hospital were about all the things I couldn't enjoy again. When they told me I'd need to inject myself to stay alive, I broke down completely. I've been afraid of needles my whole life - and I still am. I've suffered with anxiety, depression and ADHD since I was 8 years old. After being diagnosed, I developed an eating disorder and there were days where I just wouldn't eat so I didn't have to have insulin. For the first 3 months, my partner had to give me my insulin because the fear of the needle would consume me and I would sit in a catatonic state, holding the needle-pen near my body. I'd eventually fall apart and sob uncontrobbaly for an hour. I ended up seeing a therapist for a bit and was escalated to a really great Diabetes Educator and Dietician. Throughout the two years of having this disease, I feel like a newer, worse version of myself. I can't exercise without having to make 100 extra decisions and plans to stop a low or stop a high. I can't go to the shops and get groceries - I have to plan to not eat and not have insulin on board as my body is so sensitive, I go low very fast and I end up unable to drive. I feel trapped and alone. My partner has been here throughout the whole ordeal, but I can see the resentment starting to set in that I haven't improved or gotten better/more accepting of this disease. Him encouraging me to exercise or eat low carb etc feel like attacks - like I'm not doing enough. I'm exhausted. I'm so mentally and physically ground down. I obsess over my calories and carb intake, but will then binge eat and send myself skyhigh, followed by a low because I've over-corrected. Yet - even with all of this, I'm 93% time in range and my HBA1C measurement is 6.0% - in the eyes of my specialist I am a "stellar example" of a T1D patient. Are there others here who feel this way? I barely leave the house. I can't connect with people anymore, and I'm so angry and volatile with no capacity for any other stress.

iJustDontKn0w Lost
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I’m not sure if anyone will read this, but I’m feeling a little lost and helpless. I house-share with a 30yr old guy who is lovely and talented and smart. He just so happens to also be deeply depressed. He returned to Melbourne a year ago after livin... View more

I’m not sure if anyone will read this, but I’m feeling a little lost and helpless. I house-share with a 30yr old guy who is lovely and talented and smart. He just so happens to also be deeply depressed. He returned to Melbourne a year ago after living OS with his partner for 3.5 years. The relationship broke down, he lost his job in tech and has come back to nothing. His friends seem to have their own lives and don’t really check in with him or come over to spend time with him. His sister visits from time to time. I’ve tried to encourage him to seek professional help but he can barely fill in an online form. I’ve had the crisis team out a few times when the isolation he’s feeling gets too much. I don’t know what to do to help anymore. Also I personally feel angry at his flakey friends!! Does anyone have any ideas?

Guest_09239120 I feel lost, ashamed and kinda depressed
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Hi all,I’m a male who has just graduated high school and started at Uni. Previously, I used to be crazy into running, but I’ve been injured for a bit over a year. Avoiding the details, I’m not recovering soon. It was a lot of who I was and how I deal... View more

Hi all,I’m a male who has just graduated high school and started at Uni. Previously, I used to be crazy into running, but I’ve been injured for a bit over a year. Avoiding the details, I’m not recovering soon. It was a lot of who I was and how I dealt with negative emotions, and now it’s gone. I still do weight training, but it’s not the same. I used to base a lot who I was about being a hard worker, but now that I’ve entered uni, I’m struggling to work at all. Most days blend into each other. I rot in bed, do 1 hour of study while getting further and further behind class, do one training session then rot again. I have good friends who I have deep relations with and regularly talk to, but I still feel lonely.Since a year ago, and particularly after high school, I just feel like I keep falling from who I want to be further and further. I know logically I’m still doing well. I have consistent sleep, exercise, diet and good friends, but I still feel ashamed of who I am and I don’t know if the future for me looks better. I feel depressed.- Ryan