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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Bonnie B My husband's depression and anxiety is affecting me
  • replies: 9

My husband's depression and anxiety is really affecting me badly. I can tell by his body language that he is spiralling into a depression again however he denies it. It really upsets me because no matter what I do or say, nothing makes a difference. ... View more

My husband's depression and anxiety is really affecting me badly. I can tell by his body language that he is spiralling into a depression again however he denies it. It really upsets me because no matter what I do or say, nothing makes a difference. I feel really upset and anxious about it today, normally I can cope with it by getting on with my life and being as kind as I can to him. But today I want to scream at him. I won't though because I know that nothing will make any difference. I just have to survive some how and wait for days, weeks, months for his depression to lift. I just feel like sitting down now and having a big cry, I feel so helpless.

Guest_26330258 So Alone and Numb
  • replies: 1

Numb and so tired of fighting the constant battle in my head. It doesn’t end and I’m exhausted now. How does other pull themselves out of a funk that seems so deep and dark? I suffer from depression, cptsd, anorexia, bulimia, anxiety. I feel like I j... View more

Numb and so tired of fighting the constant battle in my head. It doesn’t end and I’m exhausted now. How does other pull themselves out of a funk that seems so deep and dark? I suffer from depression, cptsd, anorexia, bulimia, anxiety. I feel like I just waste everyone in my medical team time and what ever I try the darkness grows into more hate towards myself. Not suicidal but just incredibly numb

Urgesurfer Emotional Blunting and Tackling Depression Sober
  • replies: 2

I've suffered with Depression my whole life, this includes suicidal ideation and feelings of hopelessness. I have managed it with self medication and have managed to mask it for a long time as a functional person (exhausting). The symptoms have effec... View more

I've suffered with Depression my whole life, this includes suicidal ideation and feelings of hopelessness. I have managed it with self medication and have managed to mask it for a long time as a functional person (exhausting). The symptoms have effected my ability to interact with the world around me in ways that are meaningful and my relationships with family and friends are sometime effected with a distancing or feeling of not belonging - I isolate and am critical of myself. It's become hard of late as I recently went to hospital after a drunken suicide plan "Practiced" one evening. I am sober now and facing these familiar feelings of hopelessness ... now without my historic coping mechanism (Which is actually going really well) but like these feelings are horrid and draining and isolating despite being surrounded by good people and a great family and partner. It's like the colour has been drained from my life and I HATE it....

Jaster In keep trying and nothing ever seems to get better, one year to the next.
  • replies: 1

As a guy in his mid 50's, I am well aware that this battle of mine has never truly gotten better. The past 2 decades I completely hit rock bottom. Every year I seem to be fighting an uphill battle that I am not winning. I am very conscious to ensure ... View more

As a guy in his mid 50's, I am well aware that this battle of mine has never truly gotten better. The past 2 decades I completely hit rock bottom. Every year I seem to be fighting an uphill battle that I am not winning. I am very conscious to ensure I am not self sabotaging my own life and I can honestly say that I dont beleive I am.Last year, approximately 7-8 months ago, I started going to a Christian Church. Wonderful people who are not to full on. I got babtised and started actovely following scripture, praying and this I thought would keep me on the straight and narrow. My work is not happening and wthout a true fullfilling purpose, I am very fragile. My suicide thoughts sre back and know that a few bad days in a row I will be committed to try and see it through. I have tried and tried to find work, I have rareified experince and still this gets me knowhere. Anyhow, good to get this down. I hope others are well and fighting on.

Lib How I feel
  • replies: 4

I feel like I'm just soo done with everything. Like I'm so tired of everything not physically but in my head, and I feel so stupid that I feel this way bc my problems are like so small compared to other people so idek why I feel like this. I feel so ... View more

I feel like I'm just soo done with everything. Like I'm so tired of everything not physically but in my head, and I feel so stupid that I feel this way bc my problems are like so small compared to other people so idek why I feel like this. I feel so confused like I don't see a point in anything anymore like I feel like no matter how hard I try I'll never feel like how I used too. I feel like I'm so in my head and it's exhausting. I feel so alone even tho I'm literally not. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts aren't mine and that scares me. I'm starting to realise I don't care what happens to me anymore. I feel like everyday is just a never ending cycle that I can't escape from, and I'm constantly waiting for things to past even though I try to enjoy the present. I feel left behind no matter how hard I try to be better than I was yesterday. I feel so confused and idk what's happening. I feel everything and so numb at the same time. This sounds rlly dumb but i feel like something is missing from my life. I feel like I've wasted all my potential even though I try so hard and I don't love the things I used to anymore which makes me sad. I don't have the drive and the passion for the things that I used to. Ik that was alot but im just so confused.

Guest_09154713 Loss of direction as a 20 y/o uni student combined with possible burnout and depression
  • replies: 2

I'm a uni student and currently attempting my second bachelor degree. For context, I started uni last year in another course, decided I didn't like it and transferred courses. However, I'm 5 weeks into my new course and am finding zero enjoyment and ... View more

I'm a uni student and currently attempting my second bachelor degree. For context, I started uni last year in another course, decided I didn't like it and transferred courses. However, I'm 5 weeks into my new course and am finding zero enjoyment and motivation to study, which has caused me to fall behind in my studies and feel hopeless. To make it worse, I'm even on a part-time study load this semester. However, this post isn't about my uni studies as much as it is the things happening in the background. Last year, I battled with depression, suicidal thoughts and extreme loss of identity stemming from the accumulation of the past 3-4 years of my life. Starting high school, I began to work hard to do well in school and my peers and parents caught sight of this. This lead to me being seen as a highly academic kid. Moving into the senior years of high school, I made a lot of great friends, some of which I am still great friends with today. However, the 'smart kid' persona still stuck with me. In my final two years of high school, I chose the subjects that the 'smart' kids would do (i.e. sciences, advanced english etc) which would allow me to continue the highly academic persona that I had built for myself, that I was mainly known for, which only further inflated my gigantic ego. Despite my parents telling me that I could choose any subjects I wanted, I was already so fixated on impressing people and convinced myself it was what I wanted to do. Little did I know I was only further and further burying my true self into the seemingly unreachable depths of my consciousness. 10 hours study days were reality and I did decent in my final grade, but not as good as I expected. To anyone around me my score was exceptional but I was crushed, yet grateful I had 4 months break before uni. Uni started and I immediately realized something was off. I hated all my subjects, spiraled into depression and suicidal thoughts, yet didn't seek help. It didn't help seeing my friends enjoying their courses and doing well, while I was at rock bottom. My parents just told me to keep pushing, and so I did. Now, I want to take a semester break, but my parents don't approve and keep patronizing that course enjoyment doesn't exist and taking a 'break' means dropping out. I feel so far gone, lost for direction career-wise and really want to just 'pause'. When I try to think of what I truly want to do, I cannot I separate whether I'd being doing it for me or for others. Need advice pls.

SadboiArt 40 and still waiting for it to get better
  • replies: 2

How can it be a midlife crisis at 40, when the crisis never ended? I turned 40 this year, after loosing everything, again. It keeps happening. I was born into a violent household, grew up around unsafe adults who also hurt me. Lost every good thing I... View more

How can it be a midlife crisis at 40, when the crisis never ended? I turned 40 this year, after loosing everything, again. It keeps happening. I was born into a violent household, grew up around unsafe adults who also hurt me. Lost every good thing I had going for me over and over again. No matter how hard I try to hold onto each good thing. Late 30's diagnosied ASD/ADHD as well as realising I'm trans. And I wish I could be excited about living an authentic life, knowing these things. I no longer believe the phrase "it gets better" because it was never even ok. And now I'm not striving for anything. I can't. Nothing has ever worked out, no one stays, and I can't pretend like there's hope anymore. I'm doing what I should, what I want, and using tools gathered over a lifetime of therapy, in order to stay sane. I'm even transitioning. But what does it change really? With each person who walked away, each goal that failed again, I lost more of myself. I litteraly cannot begin to add more detail, because the list could fill a trillogy of books. And it still hasn't stopped. I'm tired. And I don't understand how I'm expected to smile and act like I'm not painfully alone, lost, hopeless. People tend not to hang around if you never get better. So why am I expected too? I have no idea what I need or want from this post, connection perhaps? Someone/s who can relate. Cheers to you for reading.

HaydenK I don't feel real. But feel all too concious.
  • replies: 1

I've recently gone to the psychologist to try understand this troubling pessimistic and suicidal thoughts that promptly follow after being exposed to any portions of society, whether that's a day out, school day, or visiting family, I cannot shake th... View more

I've recently gone to the psychologist to try understand this troubling pessimistic and suicidal thoughts that promptly follow after being exposed to any portions of society, whether that's a day out, school day, or visiting family, I cannot shake this seemingly permanent depression. Alongside being counselled and medicated for my depression, I was loosely told that I have traits that align with the autism spectrum. This is where my sense of self truly took a turn for the worst. I cannot stand the idea that the person I've known for 17 years is now a over-thinking, anxious mess of a person. I constantly think of the idea of not being conscious. But I also wonder of things that may make me happy, or things that are concurrently making me more depressed. But this seems to worsen my angst of overthinking. In retrospect, I want to understand the magnitude that my selfish desires has in comparison to the third world problems and conflicts. I feel like such a chud. I feel like a failure to the social integrity of my family, me being some social outcast that contradicts the families goals and aspirations. Causing me to drift apart. It doesn't bother me though. But it causes a moral alarm that constantly reminds me that this isn't right, because of me. Which eventually lead to my family wasting resources, time and money on trying to help me. but I'm the waste. The good thing of nothing, allows nothing to not be able to burden something. I've lost all aspirations and motivations that I used to have. I don't care about my future or current being. I can't imagine my future, because I don't want a future. There I go again. Being so selfish again. Taking life for granted. Stealing the future they should've gotten. I haven't been living for a few years now. I feel less than a shell of the person I was. I want to scream. I want to explode. why am I like this. I'm too conscious. But I haven't lived a life worth living. What does that make me. An observer. A living ghost. A delusion psycho. I'm merely a product of what's I've consumed. I've been given everything in life. how does that set me up for when I leave home. Selfish, selfish, selfish. Am I selfish? I've lived, no, I've endured life on autopilot for 17 years. how much more selfish can I be. What will it take for me to value life again? I know I must help myself. But what if I don't want myself.

ivee Giving up on myself
  • replies: 3

Being burdened with acne has shot my self-esteem the lowest its ever been. I’ve been avoiding my friends bcos I feel ugly showing my face. I avoid going outside and going to work cos the sun and my job makes my acne worse. I cant even afford a dermat... View more

Being burdened with acne has shot my self-esteem the lowest its ever been. I’ve been avoiding my friends bcos I feel ugly showing my face. I avoid going outside and going to work cos the sun and my job makes my acne worse. I cant even afford a dermatologist. All I tell myself now is theres no hope, its easier if I didnt exist and end things. I really have tried to make things better but I feel its out of my control. Its funny, when I see acne on others I dont care about it and don’t judge them. But I dont give myself the same grace. Its frustrating and deeply debilitating how shameful I feel to show my face proudly in public. All I think abt is how others will perceive it and fear that the marks on my face is all they see of me. This feels like such a small problem in the scale of things, but I’m sick of looking in the mirror and seeing failure. With how I’m so unmotivated I just can’t see things getting any easier. I wish I was strong enough

gurindjiwoman How can I create new connections?
  • replies: 2

Good Afternoon I am approaching 28 years of age, and I can say with absolute confidence that I am incredibly lonely. I have previously befriended people who were secretly jealous of me, or could not stand me. People have lied and gossiped about me to... View more

Good Afternoon I am approaching 28 years of age, and I can say with absolute confidence that I am incredibly lonely. I have previously befriended people who were secretly jealous of me, or could not stand me. People have lied and gossiped about me to other people, which has affected who I became friends with in the past. I have had to deal with adults living with undiagnosed narcissistic personality disorder who wanted to do nothing but exert control over my life, with their "flying monkeys" enabling this. There are even people who I bump into often in public who pretend that I am not there. Most of these people are people who I have never spoken a word to, but, my gut instinct tells me that they have heard something negative about me, based on my previous interactions with mutuals. I spend most of my time with my family, but as I am getting older, I am facing an exorbitant amount of pressure to act neurotypical... when I am not. I feel like I do not stand a chance at forming healthy relationships with anyone. I am now hesitant to put myself out there. I would describe myself as someone who is polite, gentle, keeps to herself, looks after herself, is quite intelligent, and is genuinely confident with who I am/who I am becoming. I am also a university student who has goals in place for her future. I am currently seeking psychiatry in the public mental health system, but the problem that I am experiencing here is that psychiatrists rotate every six months to a year. I cannot afford to seek psychiatry via a private practice. I live with autism (neurodevelopmental disorder), schizophrenia (mental health condition) and postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) (chronic illness).

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