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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Coconut Feeling down (btw new to these forums)
  • replies: 7

Hi! I’m a young teen and quite nervous to talk about how I feel but love how you can stay anonymous. For the past few years I have been dealing with my ocd, adhd, and severe anxiety. However, for the past year I have been feeling not like myself and ... View more

Hi! I’m a young teen and quite nervous to talk about how I feel but love how you can stay anonymous. For the past few years I have been dealing with my ocd, adhd, and severe anxiety. However, for the past year I have been feeling not like myself and very sad. Sometimes I’ll be sad with no reason I guess. I don’t like doing my hobbies and I would rather sit in bed all day and watch tv than go to one of my friends house. Lately, school has been tough. My school has very high educational standards. I would say I am quite smart, however my scores haven’t been reflecting that and I feel like I am letting myself down (which I am) but at the same time I have absolutely no motivation whatsoever to study. My adhd affects the way I study, for example after 10 minutes I will have to go for a walk to reset my mind, which can make studying sessions twice as long as they should be. I also am very hard on myself and I always have been but it’s getting worse. If I get a 60 percent on my test, I feel like the roof is going to cave in, and I won’t have any shot to get into uni. I’m in my last year of middle school and I know it won’t affect me but my anxiety is telling me it will. A lot of people say I am too young to understand emotions, which is silly because firstly, there’s no minimum age of understanding your emotions, and also I find that I am quite mature. Another thing I have noticed is I have been so paranoid at night, like someone is going to break in. I live in one of the safest neighbourhoods and it won’t happen, but I have these thoughts about it happening. My ocd makes me lock the doors 12 times every night and open and close the windows 8 times, which still happens, but it has been getting worse because of my paranoia. I have some amazing friends but I feel so lonely. I’m trapped in a bubble that is suffocating me with every step I take and word I say. I don’t know why I am feeling so sad. I cry myself to sleep and I can’t tell any of my friends or family because I don’t want to be that one person that always cries and is a burden. At school, no one would ever pick me to be struggling. I make everyone laugh, and always have a smile on my face. However, inside, I am crying. Sorry if this is a long paragraph. I’ve never done one of these forums and really hoping someone responds. Hopefully someone can understand! Thanks guys and I hope you are doing well!

Guest_13075688 Just looking for some advice
  • replies: 2

Hi all, Just curious as to what I should do. For a few years I believe I haven't felt properly energetic towards anything. Early years of highschool I was pretty emotional, self-harmed a few times and pretty pathetically attempted suicide, but then m... View more

Hi all, Just curious as to what I should do. For a few years I believe I haven't felt properly energetic towards anything. Early years of highschool I was pretty emotional, self-harmed a few times and pretty pathetically attempted suicide, but then moved on from that when I got a girlfriend as she supported me through whatever I was dealing with. For years now I believe I haven't felt proper emotional responses towards things, and time kinda just passes on. I still enjoy doing things and in the moment I feel, but it passes really quickly and my memory of everything diminishes. My girlfriend is really understanding but it can get pretty annoying when I am constantly forgetting things. The reason I am writing on this discussion board is because today my great grandad passed away after 100 years of life, and my family was upset and we all hugged, but I simply wasn't able to produce any sort of emotional response as everyone else was crying. It made me realise I should probably look into it further because I have known I struggle with empathy and emotional responses for years. After some light research I am curious as to whether suppressing my responses growing up has anything to do with why I feel so numb now. I know that when confronted with something I would always breakdown in highschool and at home. At home I forced myself to suppress everything and not breakdown so that the moment would pass quicker and my parents would send me off to bed. So my question is, is it possible to teach yourself to suppress emotions and not express anything? Will this lead to a lack of empathy for people? Even as I write this I feel like letting something out but I am telling myself not to because it's a waste of time. I believe I do not have time to waste on figuring this out, but I would also love some closure on why I lack emotion. If anyone has some good knowledge to share on this please do. Thankyou in advance.

Guest_37077753 I miss my bestfriend.
  • replies: 2

Recently me and my bestfriend decided not to be friends anymore and I got hit with a wave of depression. I feel useless. Like nobody wants me, likes me. My new friends seem to hate me some days and they aren't as fun as my old friends were. I find my... View more

Recently me and my bestfriend decided not to be friends anymore and I got hit with a wave of depression. I feel useless. Like nobody wants me, likes me. My new friends seem to hate me some days and they aren't as fun as my old friends were. I find myself stalking my ex-bestfriends social media. I really just want to be friends again but everything is so different. She hates me and has new friends. I wanted to know if this has happened to anyone else and what sort of problem I'm having? Is it just depression or grief or what is it?

FhGK12 Maybe Bipolar 2?
  • replies: 3

Hi, sorry if this is a long post and if it doesn’t make too much sense and I’m bouncing from topic to topic. age 16 I was put on antidepressants & antipsychotics due to major depression and psychotic symptoms. Over the 15 years (I’m 31 now, nearly 32... View more

Hi, sorry if this is a long post and if it doesn’t make too much sense and I’m bouncing from topic to topic. age 16 I was put on antidepressants & antipsychotics due to major depression and psychotic symptoms. Over the 15 years (I’m 31 now, nearly 32) I’ve been on many antidepressants which I felt just made me worse. Before starting them I never had an attempt on my own life, and not long after starting them I had my first attempt. It’s like my whole personality changed on them, I became this angry, impulsive, chronically suicidal girl for 15 years. Many hospital visits with so many different diagnosis’ from so many different doctors. I got schizoaffective disorder, paranoid schizophrenia, major depression, anxiety, bpd, cptsd, antisocial personality disorder (which I think is the biggest misdiagnosis of them all), bipolar a couple of times there, but nothing really 100% sticked, mainly it was schizoaffective or bpd. I’ve also been diagnosed with autism in 2016, got the offical diagnosis which cost a lot. In June last year I gave up completely and stopped antidepressants and antipsychotics, I was on them for 15 years. Obviously not the same med for 15 years but tried many.I stopped both medications suddenly, which I now understand wasn’t safe. I experienced some really difficult withdrawal effects for a few months, was in hospital for a severe depressive episode the first few weeks off them, couldn’t even eat and had to have a feeding tube. But after a few months off them it was like I was a different person, like my whole personality changed. My suicidal impulsiveness was gone, intense anger gone. No therapy or anything. I’m just different. It was definitely the antidepressants that made me feel worse mentally, very dull but all that came out was anger, antipsychotics made me quite physically unwell that’s why I stopped them. I’ve been off them a year now. I have deep depressive episodes, some last weeks, some last a couple of months or more. I don’t shower, look after myself, lay in bed, cancel all my community supports and appointments, I’m losing weight fast, don’t find enjoyment in the sport I play anymore when in an episode, and it’s the only thing I enjoy in life, also experience suicidal thoughts that become really difficult to manage, and often find myself feeling overwhelmed and withdrawn. But I’ve also been having what I call ‘high periods’. I come out of my deep depression and then I don’t sleep at all, am impulsive with spending, my poor bank card declines a lot now :(, I have a lot of energy, last week I decided to clean my bathroom randomly, then my kitchen, then my whole house, just went on a huge cleaning spree, I play loud outgoing music, I went online looking for jobs to apply for, I also applied for a tafe course. I’ve realised I’ve actually being doing this kind of stuff for years, eg a couple of years ago I spent over $4000 on after pay, which my brother paid off for me and I’m still paying him back. I’d get random hobbies/interests for them not to last, eg I’ve tried motocross, bmx (just bought a bike never did it) a $3000 electric drum kit (never used). I just have all these great ideas and lots of energy when I’m high, no need for sleep, apparently I annoy everyone because I talk fast and switch between subjects, and message my sister online in the middle of the night taking and sending so many messages on different subjects before she can even answer. The high can last from anywhere between 5 days to a week or even more, depressive episodes are 2 weeks or more, usually longer for me. Right now I’ve come out of my high that lasted about 11 days (I bought 4 lotto tickets for the same draw last week because I was 100% convinced I was going to win) I’m now not high nor majorly depressed just in the middle, I wonder what’s next deep depression for weeks or back to being high with no sleep or money? I was just wondering if this sounds like bipolar 2, as I knew antidepressants made me worse and they can make bipolar (diagnosed or undiagnosed) worse as I just found out. I’m seeing a medical dr next Tuesday, he’s never seen me before, he works at a community mental health clinic, I have to get an ecg from my gp before I see him because apparently they want to put me on antidepressants (they only know about my major depression episodes) that’s why I’m going there because people have flagged my deep depression and want me to get help for it. But I’m seeing other issues here. Could it be bipolar 2? And antidepressants for 15 years kind of made it worse and now it’s showing it’s true colours? sorry if this is too long, just looking for info/advice thanks!!!

rin overwhelmed and stressed
  • replies: 2

im slowly coming into the realisation that i likely have depression and its kinda just. wrecking me rn.it just feels like. idk. i cant ever be just satsfied with myself. that no matter how hard i try i cant just. like myself. or even stand to be with... View more

im slowly coming into the realisation that i likely have depression and its kinda just. wrecking me rn.it just feels like. idk. i cant ever be just satsfied with myself. that no matter how hard i try i cant just. like myself. or even stand to be with myself alone. those days where im locked into my own brain with nobody to talk to are exhausting and leave me irate, paranoid and overwhelmedi have everything i could want atm. i have an incredible partner who's willing to support me, and understands what im going through. i have good friends, close ones even, people that care about me and love me. but somehow in the end all my fucking brain ever sees is how theyll leave me, how ill drag them down with my bullshit how ill just. ruin it all myself. sabotage everything. it sucks. now that i have something to lose it feels all the more worse that im stuck like this. i feel empty. but i also feel overwhelmed. its all too much but im also so understimulated. i hate it here

PDD DYSTHYMIA / PERSISTENT DEPRESSIVE DISORDER
  • replies: 2

I was diagnosed with chronic dysthymia 15 years ago by a psychiatrist. What a relief to have a name for the reason l was different to those around me an a full page description that explained my life. Prior to this I had many jobs, moved many times n... View more

I was diagnosed with chronic dysthymia 15 years ago by a psychiatrist. What a relief to have a name for the reason l was different to those around me an a full page description that explained my life. Prior to this I had many jobs, moved many times never seeming settled and unknowingly self sabotaging my relationship. The instigator of being diagnosed was my withdrawal from my dream course as l was filled with self doubt. My diagnosis was genetic. So nothing caused this and l have lived my whole life this way. I am reaching out to find other people with this disorder who understand the social implications and if anyone knows of any support or meeting groups for Dysthymia/ Persistent Depressive Disorder.

Rik Struggling
  • replies: 5

I’m a successful guys, a loving g partner if 17 years but can tell him anything that I’m going through. I never want to disappoint those closes to me so I’m screwed when it comes to support. I had a couple bad experience over the weekend and had my f... View more

I’m a successful guys, a loving g partner if 17 years but can tell him anything that I’m going through. I never want to disappoint those closes to me so I’m screwed when it comes to support. I had a couple bad experience over the weekend and had my first ever “this is the time”. Would be great to just understand I’m not the only crazy person that’s whinging even though they have a privileged life

Gigabyte Felling lost and broken.
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm 39-year-old. I got injured in Nov 2024 while working at a supermarket, It's a WorkCover claim. Since then, I've been stuck dealing with chronic pain, numbness in my leg, and serious mobility issues. I can't stand for more than 10 minutes, dri... View more

Hi, I'm 39-year-old. I got injured in Nov 2024 while working at a supermarket, It's a WorkCover claim. Since then, I've been stuck dealing with chronic pain, numbness in my leg, and serious mobility issues. I can't stand for more than 10 minutes, driving is limited to short trips, even basic errands wipe me out. Sitting hurts after 20 to 30 minutes, so I spend most of my time lying in bed on my side. The pain is constant. Sometimes it's burning numbness down my leg mixed with lightning bolts of nerve pain, sometimes it feels like someone’s jamming a piece of rebar into my spine. I’ve been on Palexia, Tramadol, Celebrex. I’ve done physio, hydro, and just had a nerve conduction study. I get the results in a week. That test was rough. Some parts of my leg lit up and made me swear out loud, other spots like the groin down my thigh to my knee were completely dead. He cranked the voltage to max and I didn’t even flinch. The specialist said if he hadn’t met me, based on the MRI and CT, he’d think he was looking at a 60-year-old’s spine. My nerves are misfiring constantly and the pain runs from my back all the way down both legs. Despite all that, WorkCover keeps pushing me to go back to work. They ignore what my body’s telling me and even take things my doctors say out of context just to tick boxes. I've had to fight for every bit of support. The IME said I’m at 40% capacity, but they’re twisting his words to say I’m ready for work. This whole process has smashed my mental health. I can’t sleep properly, I'm up at random hours, never more than 3 or 4 hours at a time. I’m dealing with anxiety, depression, burnout and PTSD. I’ve been bounced between GPs, psychs, pain specialists, and every time I try to stand up for myself, I get treated like a problem or flagged for drug seeking. Even when I flat out refuse certain meds because I hate feeling high. I'm scared they're going to force me back into a job I can't physically do. I'm tired of justifying my pain to people who don't live with it. I can't even lift my 3-year-old daughter for a cuddle. I can't be intimate with my partner. I see a psych, she's nice, but too polite. I don’t want sugarcoated sympathy, I want honesty. I want someone who doesn’t blink when I say I’m barely holding on. I don’t want to be told to do breathing exercises. I want answers. I need help. I’m at my limit. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. p.s. I had chatgpt shorten my post as i was at 3400 characters long.

Guest_03834137 I think something is wrong with me.
  • replies: 1

I don't know how to be normal. Being normal is something I have always wanted, since being a child I have been called weird or strange. Now I'm an adult and it feels like my brain is wired in a way to self-destruct my own life. As though I can't allo... View more

I don't know how to be normal. Being normal is something I have always wanted, since being a child I have been called weird or strange. Now I'm an adult and it feels like my brain is wired in a way to self-destruct my own life. As though I can't allow myself to ever be happy or at peace. Ever since I was young i have always loved love, now I hate it. I hate being in love. I love my boyfriend but there's moments where he slightly irriatates me and it's like i switch to someone else. I start screaming and yelling saying I hate him and I just saw the most awful stuff. 2 hours later I'm sat there wondering why I just told the only person I feel like I have ever truly loved to harm himself? Who does that? That's not even the worst of it. Sometimes it will just be that a female his type has come up on the tv and then there it goes my mind starts racing thinking about everything he has ever done, lied about or whatever. I just can't escape my mind. And i just hate myself sooooooooooo much. I've never hated anything more. But then I want help but how do I get help. I know I suffer from really bad anxiety and that definitely weighs on the relationship and myself. But there has to be something else wrong with me. Otherwise I'm just a terrible person.

Lib How I feel
  • replies: 3

I feel like I'm just soo done with everything. Like I'm so tired of everything not physically but in my head, and I feel so stupid that I feel this way bc my problems are like so small compared to other people so idek why I feel like this. I feel so ... View more

I feel like I'm just soo done with everything. Like I'm so tired of everything not physically but in my head, and I feel so stupid that I feel this way bc my problems are like so small compared to other people so idek why I feel like this. I feel so confused like I don't see a point in anything anymore like I feel like no matter how hard I try I'll never feel like how I used too. I feel like I'm so in my head and it's exhausting. I feel so alone even tho I'm literally not. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts aren't mine and that scares me. I'm starting to realise I don't care what happens to me anymore. I feel like everyday is just a never ending cycle that I can't escape from, and I'm constantly waiting for things to past even though I try to enjoy the present. I feel left behind no matter how hard I try to be better than I was yesterday. I feel so confused and idk what's happening. I feel everything and so numb at the same time. This sounds rlly dumb but i feel like something is missing from my life. I feel like I've wasted all my potential even though I try so hard and I don't love the things I used to anymore which makes me sad. I don't have the drive and the passion for the things that I used to. Ik that was alot but im just so confused.