Depression through sleep issues?

[Toneman]

I'm not sure where to start here. I've never been a fantastic sleeper - I feel that subconsiously, stress contributes to this. Around 3 weeks ago I started to get a bout of insomnia - struggling to get to sleep, stay asleep, and then stressing during the day about going to sleep at night.  The last week or so, this seems to have developed into a period of depression - where I feel like I can tear up easily, and everything is an effort. I have a wonderfully supportive wife, 2 great adult aged kids (still at home), work for myself and am financially secure - so don't have anything to worry about. I don't feel like the insomnia really worries me, but worry (there's that word again) that this is contributing to my mental wellbeing. I am reluctant to talk to my GP about it, and don't feel like speaking to a professional will help (I personally don't believe in things like mindfulness etc.)

Has anybody experienced this before, and found any techniques that help through self-help? Has getting back into a regular sleep pattern, relieved the depression?  Having suffered from a brief period of depression around 7 or 8 years ago, that was related to employment, I recognise the symptoms, but aren't sure what to do about it.

[Toneman]

I think I have always been 'highly strung' and anxiety/sleep issues have troubled other members of my family, not just me.

Around 3 weeks ago I started suffering from a bout of insomnia. I'd struggle to get to sleep, stay asleep, then get stressed the next day that it was going to happen again. I'd wake up feeling lousy, start to feel sick in the stomach, not interested in eating, and lacking motivation to do anything.

I saw my GP and got a mental health plan, to see somebody who apparently specialised in sleep psychology.  It was a waste of 1 hour of my time, and I won't be back to seeing her. I also saw a hypnotist (please don't judge me) to see if that would make a difference.  Not really.

I'm now at the point where for the last couple of days, I have a constant sick feeling in my stomach, lack motivation to do anything except sit on the couch and 'veg', and have also started feeling a bit depressed about the whole situation.

Last night was a better night's sleep - whilst I woke 5 or 6 times during the night, I went back to sleep relatively quickly, so should be feeling more rested. But the nervousness is still simmering away, the stomach still feels a bit churned up (like I'm hungry, but have no appetite), and I'm sitting here feeling like I could burst into tears any moment. I have a wonderfully supportive wife, 2 great adult aged kids, work for myself and have no financial stress, so don't know why I feel this way.

Can anybody relate to this, and tell me how they got through it?

[sbella02]

Toneman,

Thank you for sharing your experience with us, and welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this.

Perhaps it's not something that's actively worrying you, rather it sounds like it is subconsciously weighing on you. Lack of sleep has also been associated with symptoms of depression, although sometimes it can be tough to work out which one comes first - a "chicken or the egg" kind of scenario. I struggle with pretty chronic sleep deprivation, and have for a very long time, and I'm no stranger to this experience of having depressive symptoms after a fair few days in a row of terrible sleep, and it's usually also mixed in with an unwarranted dose of anxiety. 

For me, I struggle with something that's been coined "revenge bedtime procrastination", which I believe may be a product of me being busy during the day and not having enough time to do certain things, so I save them all for night time. It may sound a little silly, and maybe this term trivialises it, but I now find it difficult to get to sleep regardless of whether I stay up to finish things on my to-do list or not. 

Now, that may or may not be what you're struggling with - it sounds like your insomnia may be more related to other things like stress. Either way, it can sometimes be comforting for people to know that there are different explanations for different sleeping difficulties and better yet, different ways of treating each one.

In a clinical sense, there are all sorts of techniques that mental health professionals or sleep psychologists may use to correct sleeping schedules. Sleep restriction is one, various relaxation strategies (aside from just mindfulness), and there are others that relate to maintaining good habits before bedtime and at your time of waking up. I understand that you haven't had the greatest experience with the practitioner that you saw, but it can be worthwhile looking around for a practitioner whose style and techniques you gel with, if you'd still be interested in having some professional insight and support.

For me, I like listening to relaxing videos on YouTube, mainly ASMR. Somebody suggested to me a while ago to try wearing sunglasses for the hour before I plan to sleep, and I do actually find that this works. Keeping work and other stimulating activities out of your bedroom can also be impactful.

I hope this helps, please feel free to keep chatting with us if you'd like. We're here to support you.

All the best, SB

[snakes_ladders]

Hi Toneman,

i have home through something similar. I would wake up after 1-2hrs sleeping, normally feeling hot and alert and struggle to sleep again. I did a lot of research on that. What worked for me was CPAP. I found out I had apnea and when sleeping my muscle would relax and collapse and stop oxygen going to my brain, making me walking up in a fight or flight mode.

 Maybe it might be worth for you to check your apnea. you can even rent a CPAP machine for testing (or take a few days to get used to it, though).

 Anyway, during my research I took note of everything I ate and night routine, and sleep quality for over a month. I found out that wheat and when you eat can make a lot of difference. Same with pre sleep routine. One thing that I found interesting is that the few nights I slept a bit better were the nights with higher humidity. So if you are in a dry weather place, consider a humidifier.

 There are some harmless supplements that help a lot too. Magnesium is part much essential, glycine is good for deep sleep, theanine to calm your brain, etc.

But in my case in particular the CPAP was life saving - I actually look forward to put the mask on at night.

i can’t tell want solution will work for you, but i found that provided you keep a sleep health life (and provide there is no external factors such as stress, health conditions, etc), there should be no reason why you can’t sleep better.

 Let me know how you go.

[therising]

Hi Toneman

I feel for you, I really do. When certain factors in life start to create a sense of disorder, we can begin to feel the side effects across the board (in our working life, in the ways we think and feel and in life in general).

Like snakes_ladders, I can relate to the depressing side effects of sleep apnea. While there a chemical side effects and energy system side effects (including nervous system, vascular system, endocrine system etc), from a simply natural perspective being able to feel next to no energy running through us can kinda give us a sense of 'I can feel next to no life running through me'. The feeling of next to no life running through us can become pretty depressing.

I can also relate to sbella02's interest in research. While researching a lot of the chemical energy produced in good quality restorative sleep, you can then gain a better understanding of the chemistry that's seriously lacking and how a lack of that energy plays a key role in overall function. A chemical depression can definitely lead to mental depression, where the 'voices' in your head can start to sound a little like 'You're hopeless. You can barely function. What good are you to anyone?!' and all that 'inner critic' kind of stuff.

With research, it can also be about researching things along the lines of 'What would serve my energy systems best which would, in turn, play a part in gaining quality sleep? What could calm my nervous stystem?' for example. While sleep apnea appliances will serve one sleep related issue, someone else might practice channeling excess energy out of the body by going for a workout at the gym. Someone else may decide to manage their vagus nerve (an interesting area of research). Someone else may learn to eliminate all stimulants from their evening routine (such as caffeine and planning for a stressful day ahead). Another may learn to manage inner dialogue when going to bed, drowning it out with music through really good sound quality earbuds. ASMR is definitely one of my favourites when I have trouble sleeping, the sound of rain specifically. Some people also find that physical intimacy with a partner can help them relax and sleep better, due to the release of calming hormones. This might be something to explore gently and respectfully with your partner, if that feels right for you. If you're wife's a willing therapist, happy to explore this form of sleep therapy, you could see if it works. 

Being a gal who's found what's worked for me over the years when it comes to mental wellbeing, physical wellbeing and what even provides a soulful sense of wellbeing, some of what we find can be inside the square and some outside of it. As long as no harm's done, it all remains about harmless experimentation and getting to know ourself a little better (when it comes to how we tick).

[Toneman]

Appreciate the reply.  My whole mind is one big can of worms. I have been tested for Apnea, and was told around 5-6 years ago that I had Apnea when sleeping on my back.  No evidence of it when not sleeping on my back... and I don't tend to sleep on my back.  I'm not the typical Apnea patient - slim build, non-smoker - but I do snore badly - no matter what position I sleep in.  I have a CPAP machine that initially I could use with no problems.  After a while however, I'd wake in the middle of the night, and my mind would tell me the only way of getting back to sleep was to take my mask off.  It's now got to the stage that even if I'm dog tired - I put the mask on, my brain says 'no sleep for you with the mask on', and the insomnia is worse than ever.  Notwithstanding being a stomach sleeper, and even with the least intrusive mask, it's horribly uncomfortable. Just to add fuel to the fire, I also have Restless Leg Syndrome, but am on medication for that. I've even tried hypnosis, but came out of that session not feeling any change.

Sometimes I try cognitive methods to switch off my brain. Sometimes they work.

I'm sure I have subconscious levels of stress, so I guess it's just a matter of persisting and getting sleep when I can. But sometimes I just feel so lost, anxious and depressed.

With luck it's just a phase, that will pass.