dear Hayley, your finding things blo----y tough at the moment.
Your point that like you and the rest of people suffering from depression do is to sleep during the day brings a question to me, and I used to sleep during the day as well, but fortunately I could sleep during the night, and this was from medication plus the alcohol, however maybe we want to sleep during the day is because it's our way of avoiding any contact with other people, we didn't have to answer the phone, nor if anybody came knocking on the door, we could avoid contact. Maybe this maybe right or it maybe another answer.
Your depression is there day by day, and even when someone has the ability to overcome this illness, it's still hovering around, but the difference is that we can keep the lid on it, but we sure know it's there and can affect us again if we are not concentrating or let down our guide.
I think that only people who have suffered from this illness realise this, because other people just say s---t another bl---y bad day, and there's a big difference between the two.
We do feel guilty and think that we are disappointing people around us for not being able to 'get out of this dark mood', but we can't, we don't have the strength nor the inclination to do so.
I am worried for you when you say '.I know what I have to do its the doing it that's the hard thing'.
When I was totally depressed and felt exactly the way you are feeling now, I tried to end my life and I had a wife and 2 sons, but now I'm so pleased that it didn't happen, because now my sons rely on me for advice and support, plus I have a little grand-daughter and I know at the moment this means jack-s---t to you, and I totally appreciate this.
Coping with depression, bipolar and hypermania are awful illness's to struggle with.
I am so pleased that you have contacted Beyond Blue, and I really hope that you stay in touch with us, because your post is a disturbing one and we want to help you, so please reply again OK. Geoff.
