Im Doing Okay..for Now

[allalone23]

Last week I was feeling so down and so very very alone to the point of just not wanting to be here any more, somehow I managed to keep my head just above the water and pull myself up, although I am taking one day at a time and trying so very hard not to take everything on board all at once.  one big factor that is hurting so much is my father and he not returning my emails or even a text message, I had a medical procedure done which could of been cancer which thankfully it wasn't, he didn't call or anything for before hand and nor afterwards..its a very long drawn out story, yet its just another person that has made the choice not be part of my life for one reason or another, so you can imagine how wonderful I feel about my life, not having any friends (I have one best friend) but I am pretty much on my own 90% of the time (that doesn't include my 2 year old, she is my shadow) I just worry so much about so many things and try so hard to do the right thing for my daughter..but as I said before I am pulling myself through this and this helps to write it out, not really worrying if no one replies, just nice to go blah..although I do worry that my step mother will find out about this and have a go at me for being oh what did she call me oh that's right EVIL.

[geoff]

hello, well a post like this needs the recognition it should have, and I don't like any posts not to be answered to, this is how a long time responder Lynthi used to always say, and I really wished that she would come back, she maybe reading it but I don't know.

It seems as though your step mother has control over your dad, this also happened to my family, as she got my dad to turn away from his family and little contact was made as well, but she passed away and then dad reunited with all of us again.

Your little 2 year old must be the love of your life, but you have a long interesting story which I would be able to relate to, so if you want please post again that would be great, so we can cut down the 90% to a smaller %. LOL. Geoff.

[allalone23]

Thanks Geoff for the reply, i was just happy to go blah really, of course though i still have moments during the day which i just burst into tears or my head goes into overdrive about all the crap so to speak, i am trying though to help myself in my life and the first thing i have done is apply for a new job, the one i have now is very mentally demanding having to deal with customers and their rudeness, i work as a check out operator and have never in my life come across so many rude people in my life.  so fingers crossed i get this new job working in an office (again) As for my dad its still hard, cause i know if i call or send an email i am going to get abused, and right now i cant deal with that i think it would send me over the edge, so for now i keep thinking when i think about it that this is his issue not mine.  you are very right about my step mother and believe it or not we used to get on fabulously.  my daughter is the love of my life, she is what makes me get up in the morning and not because she wakes me up lol Well i better log off for now and get ready for work (grrr) Thanks again hope you have a nice day and better weekend.