Depression, Parenting, Grief, Career & COVID19

[Emmyloulou]

Hi,
I'm new here, I would love to to connect with others in similar situation to What I am experiencing atm.
I have major depressive disorder which I have medicated for since late 2016- it's had its ups and downs but I was for ally stable early.this year for the first time in Proably 18 months.
Then COVID19 happened I was lucky enough to remain in a job that I could do from home.then schools.got closed and I became my 2 kids teacher aswell as a fulltime employee!! I wanted to do both well, obviously wanted to support my kids as best as I can but I also be present and still performing at my best in such a crucial time for my employer.
I was just hanging in there, then I get a call from my dad's nursing home to say he was very unwell and most likely had days to live. Of course I drop everything and rush to be with him. This was last Sunday- i spent two days with him while he was looking very unwell, praying and reassuring him that everything is ok. He has been in a vegetative state for two years and has not spoken or known who I was for that whole time. Then on Tuesday I get a phone call from the NDIS carer that visits him who had not seen him for a week and wasn't aware of his current situation on the phone to me or cheerful and happy telling me I can't believe it your Dad is TALKING,.and yes he was he said hello to me over the phone. I rushed in there and what do you know he is talking, remembers who I am but seems.to be stuck in a certain year because he keeps.asking what time my Mum will be home (she passed away 6 yrs ago). I speak.to the Sr and she tells.me this is quite normal for palliative patients, they sometimes have has surge or return cognition in.their final.days. the past few days he has remained back to normal not speaking and not awake. He is only being treated for pain now as he has sepsis following aspiration pneumonia. I've has a week off work and honestly feel like I slipped into depression and all i want to do is be asleep and forget everything. I am an.only child so have to deal with this.on my own, it was the same when my mum passed away. Basically the last 6 years have been he'll.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Emmyloulou,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, we're so glad you decided to join our friendly community. We're so sorry to hear about what's happening with your father. We empathise with how overwhelming it is to be juggling so many roles at once, particularly with father being so unwell. Please know that our community is here to support you and we will get through this. 

As this situation is being exacerbated by the pandemic, if you feel it might be useful, we'd encourage you to visit our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. This includes a 24/7 helpline where you can get in contact with professional counsellors to talk through what you're experiencing.

Many of our communiuty members will relate and be able to talk through these feelings with you. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best help you get through this difficult time.