Depressed

[Berny71]

Hi I’m new here and just wanted to chat about how I’m feeling. I am a disability support worker and have worked with the same client for 5 years. The issue is I also suffer from depression and anxiety and I feel working with this client is bringing me down also. I am normally a happy go

lucky person but for awhile now I’ve been depressed not wanting to go to work, starting to resent my client as they are always down etc which in turn affects my mental health. I hate the feeling of having to go back to work after time off over Christmas. My husband doesn’t understand how I feel and says to me to just ignore the clients negativity and just work, we need to work as we have a

morgagte etc. I have looked at starting my old business back up which I liked but I’m not scared and anxious that it won’t work as there are others doing the same business in my area. I also feel I need to get away from everything and everyone to sort my own head out. Which is unfair as I then won’t be contributing to our household and bills. I’m really struggling atm. I am fine for awhile and get motivated to start my new venture then anxiety and self doubt creeps back in and I loose motivation etc and then I’m depressed again. Sorry for the long post but I’m feeling lost and unheard atm 

[mmMekitty]

Hello Berny71.

Welcome to the forums.

It's tough going to work when your mental health is suffering.

If you work for a company or organisation which provides support workers & you are rostered to work with clients the company chooses, surely you can talk to your boss/manager - whatever they are called, & explain the difficulties you are having working with this client, & ask if you could be rostered to support someone else. Not everyone is suited to caring for someone who has mental health conditions. Some clients may need more specialised care than you are qualified to give.

I think it is reasonable to be able to say when, for you, this client is not a good fit. I'd hope my own support workers would do the same.

If the client is showing ‘difficult behaviours’, then having a discussion with your boss, or (if you are independently self-employed) with your client’s consent, you may be able to talk with others who are supporting them, perhaps, family, social worker, occupational worker, or anyone they nominate.

Remember, the fact you are experiencing deterioration in your mental health is not the client’s problem.

To do your best work, looking after your own mental health is important. I understand that with a mortgage you & hubby rely on your income, therefore, I think the way to go is to see if you can work with another client.

Also, I’d suggest for you to find someone to work with you, to help you with your own mental health concerns. Have you spoken to your GP, or perhaps, looked into finding a counsellor or therapist?

I wish you well,

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Berny71,

Your post struck a chord with me because I used to work with kids with special needs and have thought of returning to it but I’m realising my health, both mentally and physically, may no longer be compatible with care-type work. It’s the most rewarding work I’ve done but I’ve also been a lifelong carer, starting with my mother’s mental health issues from when I was small and she depended on me for support. It’s like I just can’t be that support person for others anymore, or at least for a long time. I feel the important thing for you is to trust your instincts about what feels right. You want to make the best decision for both yourself and your client. If your business is something you feel passionate about and the thought of returning to it brings feelings of hope and enthusiasm, that is at least a good sign. But I know you also experience the loss of motivation again as you mention. Do you think that is primarily anxiety about whether it will work or not?

A friend of mine had been a disability support worker for over 15 years when he realised he’d reached burnout and was diagnosed with a medical condition. He’s one of the loveliest people you could ever meet and was wonderful at his job. But like so many empathetic, caring people he gave a huge amount to others at a cost to himself. He did go back for a while with much reduced hours and has now found other sources of income. So he was meaningful in the lives of those he cared for for a long time, but then he really needed a change for his own wellbeing.

 I just explain that because I think sometimes you can only give so much for so long before needing a break. Like you I’m thinking of starting up a business idea. I’m currently with Centrelink so I’m thinking of doing the Self Employment Assistance Program. I think you can still do this without currently being on a Centrelink payment, so it could be a way to boost confidence in returning to your business, but I know you currently need income too so I don’t know if that would work for you.

Often there are answers or pathways that you just can’t see yet. Is there a way to even modify your business plans to fill a niche not currently filled by others in your area? Maybe a different way of approaching the business you used to do?

 I don’t know if that helps much but I hope it helps you feel heard and that you can find a way forward that really aligns with your happiness and wellbeing.

Take care,

Eagle Ray