Crappy day!!!!

[amamas]

Hey guys

How've you all been today?  I have been pretty crap!

It wasn't me being alone that was the trouble that part been great.  What threw me is that this is the least alone I've ever felt at xmas.  That's been a painful reality to try and face.

One of my so called "friends" just text me (first time in a while) asked me how I was.  I text back I've been ****.  My "lovely friend"  text me Still ****?

This "friend" knows heaps of what I've been through, knows my illnesses yet still expects me to snap out of it.

Sorry vent done...

So food been delicious, started my painting, watched some movies, listened to music and here's the stink part smoked.  Fell off the non smoking wagon with a mighty thunk!!!  Back to it tomorrow.

I have to find a way to feel my emotional pain without smokes (my little security smoke screen).  How do you guys do it?   Any non addictive things I'd love to hear ideas!!!!

Merry Xmas everyone!

[Jo3]

Hey Amamas

Sorry to read you felt crap.  

Yeah friends, I don't get them.  I think they expect us to just click our fingers and we are better.  If only that was the case we all wouldn't be on here.

Glad you got to do some nice things yesterday - painting, movies, music.  Don't worry too much about the smoking.  Because you are doing FANTASTIC with trying to stop, I guess you'll have the temptation and even smoke one but that's okay.  Like you said you will get back on track tomorrow (or is that today??).  

I don't smoke so I'm not really sure about trying to stop. But i guess it's the same with binge eating (which is what I do) and it's hard to stop. And that comes with emotional pain for me.

I struggle with emotional pain; but sometimes I really have to force myself out of the house and go down the beach, or for a walk.  That is my time that I can refocus and feel a little peace down by the beach.

Hope you have a better day today.

Jo xx

[amamas]

Hey Jo 

Thanks for your support and sharing you own way of dealing with emotional pain.  

I'm still working through what came up for me yesterday - it's pretty harsh trying to accept how alone I've felt with my family all these years.

I'm on a mission now to find a healthy way to deal with my emotional pain.  There must be a way.  Maybe I'll start a new thread and see if anyone has healthy ways that work for them.

I hope you have a great boxing day!

Cheers

[Suzbj]

How about from a current addict re cigarettes that is getting on a mission the day after tomorrow! One day at a time. And any day you don't smoke is a success - remember that! Cheers Suz xx

[amamas]

Thanks for posting Suz!

Did I read correctly that you're about to quit?  Rock on you!

I'm on my mission to find a way to deal with my pain in a healthy way and then I'll be joining you.

I think an online chat room so we can support each other in real time would be really awesome!  What do you think?

Cheers Amamas

[Suzbj]

I think that would rock and be awesome! 🙂

[Suzbj]

This is our 'real' time as long as we don't post too many words to be screened at one time

[geoff]

dear Amamas, so you have two battles to face, depression and smoking, and I would think that they are as bad as each other.

It's an enormous job trying to give up smoking while you are depressed, however you managed to it for ------ days which is an effort and a half, and so what you broke, so you can start again, and I won't tell any one, but what I do know is that your depression will become worse, because disappointment now comes into it.

You might break a few more times before you finally stop smoking, that's part of the course. L Geoff. x

[amamas]

Thanks Geoff 

You are so sweet and supportive!

I've actually been ok about going back to smoking I guess because I've identified my problem and am now trying to solve it.

I really appreciate all the wisdom you are so open to sharing!!!

Thanks, Amamas

PS Big hugs to you and Moo Moo

[amamas]

Hey Suz

Great point!  If we plan a time each day we could "real time support" each other to quit.  You're a genius!!

Just don't use swear words I found out the hard way that those one disappear for a long time!!

Let me know when and I'll be here

Cheers Amamas