constantly feeling invalid in my mental health

[xxryz19]

i just want to know someone feels the same way and that it doesn't mean i'm truly not allowed to feel this way or talk about it idk. i constantly feel like everyone around me has worse things going on and every time stuff is getting worse for myself I'm not justified in it and I'm not depressed enough so I'm just speaking from a privileged point of view and pretending to feel this way while everyone else is ACTUALLY struggling. like i constantly feel like i'm faking being depressed or even faking stuff i've been diagnosed with since i was a child because i don't have certain traits of it or i don't cry enough and i don't harm myself enough ?? does this make any sense

[Sophie_M]

Hi there,

What you’ve written makes a lot of sense, even if it feels confusing in your head.

That feeling of “maybe I’m not struggling enough” or “other people have it worse so I shouldn’t feel this way” is actually something a lot of people experience. It doesn’t mean you’re faking it. It usually means you’re used to minimising your own feelings or holding yourself to a really high standard of what “counts” as struggling.

There isn’t a threshold you have to meet to be allowed to feel how you feel. You don’t have to be crying all the time or hurting yourself for your experience to be real or valid. Mental health doesn’t look the same for everyone, and it doesn’t always show up in obvious ways.

If this is something that’s been weighing on you a lot, it could really help to talk it through with someone who can give you a bit more space to explore it. The Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 if you’d like to speak to someone.

We’re really glad you shared this. You’re not alone in feeling this way.

Kind regards,
Sophie M

[therising]

Hi xxryz19

Based on my own experience, at times I like to consider depression as being like a depression or hole in the ground (like a well). Some people may feel themself teetering on the brink, some may feel themself a little ways down, some may feel themself in the depths and others may feel what rock bottom feels like. It's still a depression, it's just the levels that vary. Even teetering on the brink needs to be seriously addressed at times. Why go into a depression if it can be prevented? It's like how you might hear a 16yo say 'I'm really down lately, I have no energy, I feel so alone' etc. A lot of adults may say 'Every teenager goes through this stage, you'll grow out of it'. I think it's far more constructive and far less dismissive to question 'Is this person on the brink of depression?'. 

When people speak of 'the light at the end of the tunnel' in depression, with that well scenario it becomes the light at the top of the tunnel. The deeper we go, the smaller that light gets. If we raise ourself or are raised in ways that make a difference, the light grows bigger. 

I think it's fair to say at times 'I can feel myself in a depression, yet I don't feel myself in the very depths of it at this point of my life'. This still demands raising, for we don't want to end up in the depths. We don't want it to get to the point where we just can't see the light at all.