BPD is my label, but it isn't who I am.

[Itsawrap]

My BPD story began many years ago, in a six month reign of darkness, self harm, medication and abandonment I learnt these things:

1) I am allowed to have an opinion- For many years, I agreed with everyone's ideas out of fear of loosing friendships or relationships, to me to was not as though I knew I was doing it, it was just ingrained in me that to agree with everyone else if made them happy, and others happiness made me happy..

2) Life isn't always about people trying to abandon you - My father left us with I was 3, and left me with major abandonment issues. It took many years to realise that my husband ( Married for 10 years now) wasn't going anywhere, and no matter how hard I tried to push him he loved me, for me and only wanted me. Even after walking out of our family home twice in a "episode" he was still there, helping me.

3) Some people you just shouldn't be around - With my disorder I learnt that I adopt other people's personalities, and opinions, some of these things would actually disagree with my core but out of fear of loosing people I would just try to be like them... It was not until many years later that I actually realised that I do have the right to disagree with people and if they don't like it then they are really not a good person to have in my life.

4) Please don't tell me who I am - This is linked to the previous point. It again took a long time to realise that I had a voice, I have opinions and it is ok to have these things. I had to relearn and redevelop my own personality, my own opinions and most importantly realise that if I feel down I need to say so...

BPD is my label, but it isn't who I am.

[happyannie]

Hi itsawrap

Having a label doesnt mean thats who we are. Ive been diagnosed with plenty labels which upsets me at times because I feel theres more to me as a person. Im a wife ,Im a mother but most importantly Im me.

I also used to try to please people and say things people wanted me to say, I also tried to push my beautiful husband away who has never gone anywhere we have been married for 25 years and without him I would be completely lost.

I wish you all the best for your future happiness and always remember you are not alone

Take Care

Annie

[Itsawrap]

Thankyou Annie. Everyday can be a battle that is for sure. I am comfortable with my "label" but I am not comfortable with those who condemn us for it.

Xx

[Starwolf]

Hi Itsawrap, good to meet you.

Well done for finding your voice and using it to stand up for your real self. Not an easy thing to do when you have a mental condition. You are an inspiration.

I totally agree...each and everyone of us is unique. How can labels define uniqueness ? They're only there for convenience but shouldn't be used to define the complex individuals we all are.The belief that we are depression, BPD, PTSD etc...makes no more sense than the notion we are diabetes or coronary disease. Sure, illness affects us but it is not who/what we are.

The stigma attached to mental illness labels is a sad reality. Knowledge and acceptance would make recovery so much easier...Far too many people keep suffering in silence for fear of misguided judgment.

Slow progress is happening mainly because of courageous people like you who take a stand. Nothing freakish about mental illness. 1 in 5 of us has been/is/will be affected during our lifetime. What about those who will never be diagnosed because they're in denial or have condemned themselves to struggling without help ?

Thank you for initiating this insightful, inspiring thread.

Kindest thoughts.