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Depression

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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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the_one_1 Get the feeling everyone treats me like I'm some kind of monster
  • replies: 3

I don’t know what to do. Everyone seems to just push me around and I can’t do anything to stop them because I don’t want to be violent or hurt anyone. I can’t be myself around people. The things I like to talk about and my personality have lead to me... View more

I don’t know what to do. Everyone seems to just push me around and I can’t do anything to stop them because I don’t want to be violent or hurt anyone. I can’t be myself around people. The things I like to talk about and my personality have lead to me thinking everyone thinks I’m some kind of monster. I can’t talk about things I enjoy without people making fun of me. With the girls I like, I'm nice, look confident, have daily showers, brush my teeth, try to look good, put deodorant on. I admit I'm not athletic and do sports but that shows that I'm just a standard normal guy. But no girls seem to like me back, strengthening my feeling of people thinking I’m some kind of monster. Life has become so hard for me that I don’t feel like living anymore. I’m not sure what to do. Please help?

Cf I am so scared that it will never get better
  • replies: 15

I don't think that I can do this anymore. I can't deal with crying everyday and knowing how far away it is going to be before I am actually going to be happy and I am worried that I will never get there. I hurt myself last night because its the only ... View more

I don't think that I can do this anymore. I can't deal with crying everyday and knowing how far away it is going to be before I am actually going to be happy and I am worried that I will never get there. I hurt myself last night because its the only way I felt like I could get all the pain out. My only thoughts now are that I don't want to be here and I'd it wasn't for how bad it would destroy my family I would end it now.

JosieH72 How do you align yourself with the rest of the world?
  • replies: 1

I feel so out of step with the rest of the world. Is that a part of the Depression or is it maybe the cause of it? I don't understand people. Actually I do understand people. I understand people at a logical level. I can reason out their actions. I c... View more

I feel so out of step with the rest of the world. Is that a part of the Depression or is it maybe the cause of it? I don't understand people. Actually I do understand people. I understand people at a logical level. I can reason out their actions. I can look at their past. I can consider what they have said. I can watch and I can understand why they do what they do. I don't understand them at a emotional level though and Depression operates at the emotional level.... doesn't it? For all the counselling I've done it works at the logical level. At the logical level I'm fine. I can control my thinking. I can control my reactions. I can stop myself and take a step back. I can pull myself out of the "emotion" of it BUT how do you align yourself with the rest of the world. How do you function in a world where you do these things and you are odd. I can't be the only one. I have so many different levels of functioning. There are days when I am "on the ball" there are days when I'm vague. There are days when I can't find the words. I fumble. There are days when I'm strong and confident. There are days when I can barely open my eyes for tiredness. There are days when I can't stop crying. There are days when I can't cry at all. There are days when I am so angry. I'm unstable and inconsistent within myself and yet I'm a single parent and the key to being a "good" parent is consistency. I feel the pull and push of "should". Social expectations. Expectations of individuals around me of what I should and shouldn't do. I have my own ideas. I have my own thoughts and ways of doing things and in large part it works. It works within the bounds of my life. Me, My kids. But LIFE is bigger than me. I must earn a living. I must function in this world. I must interact with others. I have a driven social need. I want to be liked. I want to have friends. But I seem to just keep screwing it all up. Why do I keep screwing it all up. Why can't I find a place. Why can't I find a way to live this life. To be able to function. To earn a living. To raise my kids and just BE HAPPY. I am HAPPY in my world. I am happy within myself. I am happy with myself. I am angry at people in this world who just ... expect ... something I'm not capable of. The school expects me to be able to teach my kids where they are failing. I have people around me that expect me to do certain things? I just. .. I just need to walk away from them. My perceptions of the world are so out of step. There has to be people like me out there. There has to be a place in this world for me. Somewhere!

Yoli Not sure what the future holds
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone... I am new to this forum.. First a little about myself. I am 51 and I have been off work for nearly 3 years due to work related major depression and anxiety. I had been under a lot of chronic stress due to work demands for nearly 4 years... View more

Hi everyone... I am new to this forum.. First a little about myself. I am 51 and I have been off work for nearly 3 years due to work related major depression and anxiety. I had been under a lot of chronic stress due to work demands for nearly 4 years during this time I had all the symptoms of depression but I did not realise that I was suffering from this illness. One day, I could not take it anymore, I left work in tears in I did not return.. I went to my GP who later referred me to a psychiatrist and I ended up in a hospital. It has been 3 years and I am still sick, I still have high levels of anxiety and depression. In the meantime my career is destroyed and I don't know what the future holds. I would like to know from people in this forum is how long does recovery take? will recovery ever come and if it does what does this look like??. I am very 'afraid' if I can use that word, to return to work - this fear consumes me every day and could be what is preventing me from getting better...

MsV It's like drowning. Trying to accept this is something I will have forever
  • replies: 6

Hello everyone, I really just want to try and connect with others who understand. Depression is like drowning in a swamp of concrete blackness. Even when you manage to resurface - and stay up there for what, a week, a month...whatever, eventually it ... View more

Hello everyone, I really just want to try and connect with others who understand. Depression is like drowning in a swamp of concrete blackness. Even when you manage to resurface - and stay up there for what, a week, a month...whatever, eventually it drags you down into its abyss again. The swamp knows me well as it's had me for about 18 years now. I've tried numerous medications...I've done the whole natural stuff...to no avail. My plan is to come off my antidepressant next, because, although it helped for about 2 months, I'm back to square one. I have zero interest in any form of intimacy (I literally feel "nothing" at the thought of sex), feel absolutely no connection to others, to the point of utter detachment and disconnection, and just feel I have a proverbial black fog encased across my brain. Antidepressants work for only a short time, until they need to be 'upped', but there's no way in hell I want to go on 100mg, just to function and eventually feel even more detached in 6 months' time. I love going to the gym...and exercise at least 4 times a week, but the mental benefits only seem to last about 2 hours. If excessive exercise isn't helping, anti-depressants aren't working, then I really don't know what else to do here. My other plan is to see a shrink, just to talk it through. I am really at my wits end and it is now starting to affect my marriage. If it does break, I will never forgive myself. My husband is supportive - to a point - but apparently this is "my problem" and I'm the "only one" who can fix US. Talk about pressure, right? I'm getting to the point of thinking there is only one permanent solution to all of this. No wonder it gets to this stage, because this sickness remains such a stigma - this is why I can only come *here* and 'be' with people who may understand. Has anybody else experienced some of the above, if not all of it? I'd love to hear your feedback. Anybody else experience relationship breakdowns because you have just become a disconnected being who is simply floating indifferently through life? Thank you for 'listening'.

youngnneedhelp is this the right place?
  • replies: 3

hi, my name is matt and im not sure if this is the right place for what i need help for, ive read some other stories and mine dosnt seem as important but i thought id give it a shot. 3 months ago my 3 year realationship with i still know "the one" en... View more

hi, my name is matt and im not sure if this is the right place for what i need help for, ive read some other stories and mine dosnt seem as important but i thought id give it a shot. 3 months ago my 3 year realationship with i still know "the one" ended and ive been finding it hard to move on, in the end it came down to that we never faught, not once. if i did anything that pissed her off she bottled it up and said nothing but thats not to say it was all her fault, i was so ignarent to the fact that there were things that needed to addressed but i just played along, so its just as much my fault as it is hers. we now live on opposites side of the couuntry (she moved back home) and the only way we communicate is txt and some times phone calls. weve been talking about were things went wrong and what we could have done to prevent them, and the more we talk the more i realise that we could still be together. with out her i cant be myself, i feel lost, disconected, like im some one else. my question is, is it foolish of me to believe in a love so great and powerful that we'll be together again, or am i holding on to a false hope? i know in my heart that if we were to give it another try, we would both do things different and we would last the distance. its just so hard that i cant show her how i feel and how ive become the man she needs and deserves, but due to geography it near impossible. what do i do? move on or beleive that the powerful love we once had can be once again?

Dw1969 Im so lost and need help.
  • replies: 4

Hi my name's David, Im 44yo and my partner and I were both diagnosed Hiv positive about 3 years ago now. At the time we were both quite ill, my health has improved greatly with the help of the anti viral meds, however my partner is still quite ill, h... View more

Hi my name's David, Im 44yo and my partner and I were both diagnosed Hiv positive about 3 years ago now. At the time we were both quite ill, my health has improved greatly with the help of the anti viral meds, however my partner is still quite ill, he has cirrhosis of the liver which is taking it's toll on him and his doctors recently found some lesions on his spleen which could possibly be lymphoma, so now we are waiting on test results. He has been sick for so long now and has enough problems of his own that I don't want him to have to worry about me as well, so I have been putting on this front that everything is ok with me when it's not the case, I'm so lost and need help, I don't know what to do anymore or who to turn to, I have no friends and no close family to talk to. I've been depressed for about 12 months now, maybe longer, I can't remember the last time I felt good about myself or anything else, I've tried talking to both my Hiv specialist and my local GP a few times now and they just don't seem to listen to me or understand how I feel. The last month or so things have gotten worse, I started a new job 10 weeks ago, but haven't been to work for nearly 3 weeks now, I just get all nervous and anxious and can't bring myself to go in. Out of desperation I've lied to my boss telling her there was a death in the family and I had to go interstate, now I'm just ignoring her phone calls. I've been lying to my partner as well, telling him that they cut my shifts down to 1 shift per week and just going and sitting in the park when he thinks I'm at work, this last week I told him I had no shifts at all. I feel so awful, I've really reached a low, I don't know what to do, I'm so close to losing it completely, I've got no interest in anything anymore, everything is just too much of an effort. I keep digging myself into a deeper and deeper hole and can't see any way out, I've never felt this bad before I need to get help and don't know where to go. How do I find a good GP in the Parramatta area that might be able to help.

UniqueGirl My Depression and health is ruining my marriage and friendships.
  • replies: 2

I feel as tho I am losing control, About 4 years ago i got diagnosed with diabetic retinopathy which affected my eyes. I have lost my eye sight on my left and I am close to losing my right eye sight. I didnt know i had diabetes until all this happene... View more

I feel as tho I am losing control, About 4 years ago i got diagnosed with diabetic retinopathy which affected my eyes. I have lost my eye sight on my left and I am close to losing my right eye sight. I didnt know i had diabetes until all this happened to me. My whole world came tumbling down when I had found out, I had just gotten married and i was ready to start my life with the man I loved, but instead i have been going through hell and everything went from being good to worse. Because I got ill, I had to leave my job so then we had a financial strain and had to sell our home because my husbands wage could barely pay the mortgage let alone the bills and day to day expenses. Everything changed for me when it all happened. I became more depressed and the people i thought i could trust and be there for me where nowhere to be seen while going through this. I sit at home all day and some days i dont want to get out of bed. I would stay up all night and sleep all day . My husband works afternoon shift so i dont see why i should be awake while he isnt here... I want to get out and about but I have no one .. I have no friends and my family is a joke not to mention my husbands family. Makes it hard when the only person you talk to is your husband .. and sometimes he doesnt know how to comfort me when I am in the state of giving up on life. I have been suffering from depression for 20 years but the last 4 years my anxiety levels have been very high. I guess i wanna make some friends and perhaps that will help me to speak and have someone other than my husband to speak to and hang out with.

JosieH72 Is there an end? Is there a solution cause I'm sick of Managing!
  • replies: 4

I'm 40. I'm a single mum of two boys aged 8 and 10. I run my own small, home based business. I have "Depression" well that's the word I use. My last counsellor didn't like to "label". I was first diagnosed with Depression when I was 16. I had my ups ... View more

I'm 40. I'm a single mum of two boys aged 8 and 10. I run my own small, home based business. I have "Depression" well that's the word I use. My last counsellor didn't like to "label". I was first diagnosed with Depression when I was 16. I had my ups and down throughout my life. Always dropping into "Depression" when things got hard. I've done the meds, I've done so many different forms of counselling. Things got bad when I became a mum. Things got worse when I split from my husband when the boys were 1 & 3. I've been fighting hard ever since. I haven't been suicidal for a good 5 years. I'm better than I've ever been. I've let go of the past so that no longer feeds my Depression. As I started to get better from the Depression I started having Anxiety attacks. The doctor explain that it's "all on the same continuum". When my kids dad left town and stop regular fortnightly access I started having panic attacks, that was 2 years ago. I "manage" it all fairly well. I've got strategies, I can pick myself up and keep going. I can "function" BUT I can't stand this pain any more. The pain in my heart. The loneliness. The emptiness. I use all sorts of new age stuff too to "change my thinking", "be positive" but I can't change the fact that I am absolutely on my own. I've got friends, those that are still around are in the same position as me so that can't support me. They are actually worse so I tend to support them, although at least they understand. The rest just walk away with "too hard", "too emotional". "too demanding" etc etc. I spent years tring to "fix". I've come to terms with the fact I don't fix so I've given up trying. "I'll just be me and the right people will come into my life". There are people around me that care but none of them know the truth. None of them know my heart or my head. No one knows how much I cry. No one knows how much it hurts. I want help. I want a solution. I'm sick of "talking". I'm sick of fighting just to keep my head up, just to function. I really do understand why people kill themselves. My thoughts are there but I know it's no out either as I believe you just have to come back and do it all again anyways so I mose well try and figure it out now rather than passing on the legacy to my kids and the pain to those that I know love me, those that logically I know would feel my loss. I don't even have the hate any more to want them to suffer, which also sucks. At least back then there was some pleasure at the thought that I could hurt them as much as they hurt me. Why do I feel so empty. So Unloved. I just want someone to love me. Really love and value me. My kids do as kids do but I want what I give to my kids. My mum loves me, I know she does "in her own way". She's a better mum than her mum was. I'm a better mum than my mum is but my family is messed up. She doesn't understand me, I've tried to talk to her. I've tried to talk to people but I just can't find a way to permanently get out of this shithole. No matter how "good" I get. No matter what I do. I keep coming back here. I don't stay as long, I get out quicker, I stay out longer. It's less debilitating and affects my life less. BUT I'm so flippen sick and tired of being here. I'm so tired of fighting. I feel so trapped, so alone with no solution. No out... Just time, working hard and fighting, always fighting to get just that little bit better, that little bit more stable.

Peachy1 How do i deal with it?
  • replies: 53

Hi, i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, when we first met things were fantastic. he was such a lovely man and he still is to this day, however, things have been different for quite some time. with the loss of a loved one a few years before he ... View more

Hi, i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, when we first met things were fantastic. he was such a lovely man and he still is to this day, however, things have been different for quite some time. with the loss of a loved one a few years before he met me, he still struggles to move on. he doesnt talk about it but he is depressed i think and no matter how much he says he wants help he is procrastinating. I have given so much to our relationship and have loved doing it, but it is getting really draining for me. i want to have the best life i can and i want him to be in it with me but he doesnt do anything really, he sits at home, doesnt work, plays games all day, i come home from work and do everything. i try to talk to him and get him motivated but he is so defensive and feel like im getting nowhere! what can i do? the other thing that is affected is our sex life, we used to be really intimate all the time and now its like an effort for him or a 'chore' - he says he loves me and i believe he does but its just not the same. he looks at porn all the time i know it he tries to deny it. he doesnt understand that if we had a healthy sex life i wouldnt care if he did that (i might care but not as much) but he cant do that and then not be intimate. im at my witts end.. i love him but i want him to grow up and get through things and be a man he complains all the time.. well he needs to fix himself? thanks