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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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kay3 alone,confused, had enough.
  • replies: 2

im 39 and my life is sleeping, when im asleep i can escape.its hard to get to sleep.... I cannot sleep unless ive taken something to knock me out for the night.i go to bed late then sleep most of the next day. Ive had major depression/anxiety for yea... View more

im 39 and my life is sleeping, when im asleep i can escape.its hard to get to sleep.... I cannot sleep unless ive taken something to knock me out for the night.i go to bed late then sleep most of the next day. Ive had major depression/anxiety for years probably since teenage years, lots of different meds but they dont seem to make any difference.Nobody knows how bad my thoughts are ive learnt to hide it and appear happy and capable,when truthly im just screaming on the inside. I know if it wasnt for my daughter and my son i would not keep going i just have no desire to live anymore. My reaction when everything builds up is i want to just take of and keep going (run away) its either that or i feel i dont know what i would do. Im supposed to be studying but i have let things slide but i carry on and my family still think im doing great,i couldnt be bothered turning up to work this week which ive never done because i cant afford not too. I just dont know how to live a life with out this constant feeling of sadness,loneliness,mind consuming thoughts. i know for sure if i had access to harder drugs i wouldnt hesitate... just to escape for a while There is only me and my daughter living together my breakup was a couple of years ago and i didnt just lose my partner i lost my best friend and every day i have thoughts and dreams about him that eat me alive as he found someone not long after and still too this day i can not let it go, it consumes me all the time. I know there is no real normal but i just dont feel as though there is no hope for me im not saying this to attention seek it is truly how i feel its like soul deep im constantly wondering if maybe my next life might be better.Then when i say that.. i know i have not a bad life compared to some which makes me worse because i just dont understand my thoughts, so confusing. ive often thought id like to just check into a hospital and ask them to put me to sleep for a few days and then maybe start some type of therapy where im there and dont have to face the real world until im capable.as ive been to psychologists then go home feeling worse just doesnt help. its 1.45am and yet again i cant sleep was extremely upset and anxious so i logged on here hoping to find some help,never written about my feelings before or really talked about it.

MikaelaB Clueless
  • replies: 39

  Is it normal to have suicidal thoughts everyday?

  Is it normal to have suicidal thoughts everyday?

tanhal1 My head hates me.
  • replies: 7

I am a new member. Everyday for the past 18 months my head says to me 'There's a reason why your so lonely' , 'Death is part of life, they will get over it', 'that constant pain in your belly and that sting behind your eyes, you can stop that', 'Stop... View more

I am a new member. Everyday for the past 18 months my head says to me 'There's a reason why your so lonely' , 'Death is part of life, they will get over it', 'that constant pain in your belly and that sting behind your eyes, you can stop that', 'Stop fighting me' , 'Your a **** mother and wife, you have no family or friends, you are completely alone'...........this goes on and on and on and on. I went to my GP, went on anti depressants and saw a shrink a few times. Decided in my infinite wisdom that if I didn't want to be depressed, I needed to stop acting like it. Went off the meds, dropped the shrink and took up a personal trainer three times a week. It didn't work.

rachaelx Ongoing depression?
  • replies: 11

Hi. I've posted on here before, and I thought I may of been getting better.. But I was wrong. Just to recap, I never really had my mother. She left when I was around 4, so that left me with my father. When I was around 8, he molested me. Took me unti... View more

Hi. I've posted on here before, and I thought I may of been getting better.. But I was wrong. Just to recap, I never really had my mother. She left when I was around 4, so that left me with my father. When I was around 8, he molested me. Took me until about 2 months to tell somebody, and that turned out to be my guidance counsellor. I moved out pretty much straight away. Even though I had been living with it for years, when it was out in the open it proved to be too much for me. I stayed with my aunt (his sister) for a while. As I grew up, she was the closest thing I had to a mother figure, so I turned to her. But about 3 weeks ago, I made the decision to 'visit' my mother. This turned into me moving in. I had previously lived with her for about a year 13 or 14 months ago. I left though because I was really unhappy. Now, I'm sitting here in my bedroom, unhappy as ever. I tried taking an SNRI for a while, but the symptoms were too hard on me. Made me have to miss several days of school, and me being in my second last year of schooling, it didn't work out. So, based on my new doctor's suggestion, and my mum's, I got off them. I feel really bad now though. I have for weeks. I've been off them pretty much since I arrived here to live with my mum.. I'm having increasingly bad suicidal thoughts. I go into detail with my thoughts. I envision afterwards, how my family would react. Sometimes it doesn't bother me how they would see it. At least the pain would be over. Selfish, I know. But at the same time, wouldn't my family be just as selfish, expecting me to go through pain just to please them? I shouldn't look at it that way, i know... I guess what I'm asking for is help. Last time I felt like this was 2 years ago. The way I dealt with that was by self harm, smoking, drinking, chroming, drugs. Running away, the whole lot. This time around, the only thing that's stuck is the self-harm. I've stopped recently, but I'm afraid if it doesn't get better, I'll start again. To be honest, I'm thinking of suicide more and more often. I feel as if I'm drowning, slowly. I feel like I'm screaming, and that no one can hear me. Dramatic I guess. But it's the only way I can describe it. I'm 16, and I don't want to feel like this anymore. I feel as if I don't get 'more' help soon, I''ll end up snapping. In a really bad way. Before I moved, I was seeing two counsellors. Now I'm seeing pretty much, 3 doctors, arranging to see both a counsellor and a psychiatrist. I don't want to turn down a bad path.. I DO want a future, with a good career, a husband, kids, the lot. I don't want to mess that up based on how I'm feeling now. It's just, this bad mood, this sadness, has been constant for the past 2 weeks. I swear, I can't get a break. I hate it. For those who have bothered reading this, thankyou. x

Andrewnapoles Don't know what to do anymore.
  • replies: 3

Hi, I'm Andrew I'm 16 years old and currently a Junior in high school and I don't know if I'm depressed or just sad, I live with my mom who is always talking down on me and always makes fun of me and says how stupid I am and it really hurts me cause ... View more

Hi, I'm Andrew I'm 16 years old and currently a Junior in high school and I don't know if I'm depressed or just sad, I live with my mom who is always talking down on me and always makes fun of me and says how stupid I am and it really hurts me cause I love my mom but she just hates me, I'm always finding myself not doing anything, even the simple task of waking up In the morning is a struggle, I don't feel like any things worth doing, I used to love to hangout with friends all the time and I had plenty of friends and everyone knew me as the most out going and funnest to be around with, now I have absolutely no one besides myself. I have no family that cares, my dad tried to kill me when I was younger and always said that I wasn't his, my mom always puts me down and never has anything good to say about me, if I try to talk to her about my feelings she will just laugh in my face and turn it into a joke, I've never felt so horrible in my life, I'm never happy or sad, I just feel empty, my mind feels numb, I try to talk to school counselors but they're even worse, they just sit there and do nothing for you besides say "talk to your parents", I feel hopeless, I'm falling so behind in school it just adds a pile of stress to whats already there, with no one to go to I've turned to moderate drug use, I've been drinking every weekend possible just so I can feel some happiness, I honestly hate life right now and I always think about suicide, I honestly don't see the light at the end of the tunnel and evaluating my situation right now I'm 100% sure I can't get help and things are only gonna go down. I'm just not a strong enough person to pull through on my own, I need the support that isn't there and that won't be there no matter what I try.

Sharky Sad
  • replies: 2

I have made a huge mistake. I should have acknowledged something was not right years ago. Things have come to a head and I need to get advice. I'm seeing my GP next week, but I desperately need to talk about what's wrong. I have been married to my wi... View more

I have made a huge mistake. I should have acknowledged something was not right years ago. Things have come to a head and I need to get advice. I'm seeing my GP next week, but I desperately need to talk about what's wrong. I have been married to my wife for 17 years and I would say that our sex life started to deteriorate, pretty soon after our second child, about 10 years ago. To the point of having no sex at all. Just before she was born my father passed away from cancer and I took his passing pretty badly. I have realised over the years that I have times when I loathe myself and am irritable and unhappy. Today I am on the verge of breaking down and crying. We lived overseas for a while and whilst there I struck up a friendship with a work colleagues friend. It never involved sex, but has involved messaging and emails of an explicit nature. Yesterday my wife discovered some messages on the computer at home. I have a wife and two lovely girls. I have been told by my wife that I am very different in my attitude to my youngest one and it is most likely going to affect her. I don't notice I'm doing it, but attitude is totally different with my older daughter. I'm not violent towards any of them, but my manner in which I speak to my youngest daughter is quite cold and unloving. Understandably my wife is annoyed, disappointed and furious with me for screwing things up. I love my family more than anything and I want to get things right. Otherwise our lives are pretty good, I have a good job and the girls are doing well at school, we have a nice house and are lucky to live in a fantastic country. Help

MrsM Where did the Happy me go?
  • replies: 3

I had my first child just over 2 years ago. At that time is when I think I first had depression (perhaps Post-Natal Depression). It took me some time after a scary emergency caesarean delivery to really feel like a mum. I was sent to ICU away from my... View more

I had my first child just over 2 years ago. At that time is when I think I first had depression (perhaps Post-Natal Depression). It took me some time after a scary emergency caesarean delivery to really feel like a mum. I was sent to ICU away from my child for the first night which went against everything I wanted for my first time of giving birth. After some time I was feeling good again. I returned to work 2 days a week when my child was 6 months old. I enjoyed my time at work as it gave good balance to my life (and also a social outlet for me). When my first child turned 1 we decided to try again for another baby as I had always wanted my children to be close in age. I fell pregnant very quickly and was very happy about it. At 4 weeks pregnant I needed to tell my boss at work that I was pregnant because I am a teacher and there were some infectious diseases going around the school that I needed to be kept away from now that I was pregnant. So this is kind of where everything fell apart. I was offered work which apparently 'fell through' so I became unemployed. I feel guilty even thinking this, but I feel like I lost this job because I was pregnant, and if I hadn't gotten pregnant I would still be working. It's like the whole pregnancy became negative in a way. I began to spiral. By this time my first child was becoming a terrible toddler and I was at home dealing with it day in and day out. I had noone to talk to about it. When I spoke to my husband about it he just said, "she'll grow out of it." So this didn't actually help me at all. My second child is now 5 months old and I feel like I have completely lost myself. I wake up each day to the same old screaming toddler and crying baby. I am still not working as it is difficult with a baby and a toddler when you are a casual teacher. I love my children dearly but I feel like such a failure. My toddler screams all day which keeps the baby up. I feel unmotivated to do anything because I go out and it's embarrassing with a screaming child. This is not how it was meant to be. I find it so difficult to sleep...I am lucky if I am able to switch off long enough to get an hours sleep. I cry almost everyday, I feel angry, sad and stressed out all at once, like I need to scream! I then feel guilty because I should be happy with what I have. I have a loving husband and 2 beautiful children yet I feel like I just want to give up. I sometimes think I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up... I would never do anything silly to myself, but I need help in getting the old me back...where did she go??

ChloeJ88 Please Help.
  • replies: 3

Hi I am 25 year old mum of a 16 month old son I have been suffering with depression for quite some time now and I need some help. I am at my wits end I do not know what to do anymore I went and saw a doctor who prescribed me anti depressants and shru... View more

Hi I am 25 year old mum of a 16 month old son I have been suffering with depression for quite some time now and I need some help. I am at my wits end I do not know what to do anymore I went and saw a doctor who prescribed me anti depressants and shrugged it off as Post Natal depression I have had alot going on in the last few month with my partner being made redundant haveing to move interstate and lots of other things. I am finding it hard to function on a daily basis but I dont know where to turn i feel completley alone and think it would be better if I just was not here I feel embarrased to talk to anyone I just really need some advice I havnt dealt with this issue properly and its been ongoing for a very long time I am worried I will lose the plot shorlty I just need help I feel like I am screaming out to everyone around me but no one is hearing me.

dan_2 Financial/Depression issues...
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone, I'm Dan, I'm 16, and I'm just about to start year 11 exams, now onto the issue; About 5 months ago I started counseling at my local youth services due to my mother leaving me, my stepdad (now guardian), and my 2 little brothers (they ha... View more

Hey everyone, I'm Dan, I'm 16, and I'm just about to start year 11 exams, now onto the issue; About 5 months ago I started counseling at my local youth services due to my mother leaving me, my stepdad (now guardian), and my 2 little brothers (they have shared custody). After a few weeks, the counseling started to work, I felt like I could deal with stuff better. After a few more sessions, I started going to the doctor to get anti depressants due to my counselor thinking I was at risk of self harm/suicide, due to thoughts I had written down into a book.. After 2 months, I was abruptly taken off the meds Conveniently, last month my Grandma died, and my mother decided to text me things like "ur a **** up" and "go die", among other things. Now I've ceased communication with my mother, but lately I've been having really dangerous thoughts. I'm thinking too far ahead, just today I've been wondering how I'm going to support myself now. My stepdad/guardian barely has enough money to buy food, let alone school fees, uniform, equipment etc. and, he told me that there's no way I can claim any welfare money/youth allowance because I live with him. I don't want the dangerous thoughts to escalate any further.../:

Lobo weak and unmotivated
  • replies: 1

Hi, I have been suffering depression for almost 2 decades, i'm 35 and feeling low self worth. I lost my older sister and her husband in a car accident in 1993 and i was 14 Years old... throughout high school was not good, kept to myself. I've progres... View more

Hi, I have been suffering depression for almost 2 decades, i'm 35 and feeling low self worth. I lost my older sister and her husband in a car accident in 1993 and i was 14 Years old... throughout high school was not good, kept to myself. I've progressed in studying to advance myself in life, however just feel that I don't want to be here. I've worked very hard to try and be in a better place, have travelled and lived abroad, but still no happiness can help me in my situation. I have returned from living in Europe 2 years ago and since I've been back... have only worked 8 months and now have been unemployed for a year which has triggered a big portion of depression that has made me weak and unmotivated to do anything really.... My health has been on the decline... I keep to myself because I can't trust anyone.... feeling very isolated and socially afraid.... So i lock myself in my room and try to minimise my interaction with people. Since not working for a year... I'm suffering also from Anxiety, sleep apnea, insomnia, stressed and feeling that low. I don't have a family... I've been single for a decade as I don't trust people to be close as fear of people being dishonest and I can read people so easily because I find a conclusion in anything that is negative. So in that, I don't have much to lose. I rather a person who has a family and a job to continue living than me having nothing. I have thought about doing the inevitable, but because my health has had a rapid decline, I guess I'm slowly withering away. But that doesn't worry me. I'm here to write about my story as having someone that was so close to me gone and the only person I could trust, I have always wanted to know why I'm still here. I think everyday that I'm worthless, I wake up and I'm still here living, why? I don't know, I just hope to not wake up. I am speaking with a professional about my illness but still unmotivated to do anything. I used to exercise, read, take photography, travel etc, but now I feel that its all a waste of energy. Talking to someone is maybe ok to get out what I think about everyday and for what I have endured throughout my teens and 20s, but not only that I've grown up in a very violent abusive family where mum and dad punished me for things no child should experience. I'm not a violent person as because what I have went through as a child has made me understand that the growing attacks of people in public has made the offenders resort to this behaviour is most probably the resort of their upbringing, however in my case, I wouldn't harm others because of how bad I was violently abused as a child. I constantly think negative about everything.... I constantly wish bad things happen to me because I grew up being punished and I don't see the enjoyment of being alive. If I had mutant powers, its the ability to smell lies of others who speak to me. Could be a recruitment agent, strangers, some friends. Just have this feeling of able to read peoples body language to show they say something and contradict themselves, lie, gain something from me, use me, cheat etc. This isn't normal I know... maybe the only reason I am able to see through people is because I'm very honest and direct as I don't sugar coat anything, but possibly because the constant disappointment I go through with everyday tasks, fail job opportunities and people like some of my friends who want to help, say they don't have time for me shows that my strength in having faith in humanity is dead to me.