How to plan your life around depression and anxiety. clueless

[Beetle]

Hi

Even though i provide everyone with ideas and suggestions- when it comes to me im completly lost what to do.

Since I am diagnossed with depression and anxiety 3 weeks ago i am unsure how to live my life. I want to get better and feel I cant do what I ve done before since that must have caused my depression?

I dont know how much activity is too much or too little, how much rest/company is too much or too little and how far to plan ahead and to look back into my past.

I feel my body gonna breeak down if i dont read my bodies reactions to situations correctly and the suicidal thoughts and panic comes back.

I feel ok at the moment, a bit empty though, and on meds(SNRI's) 60mg the last 3 weeks. I see my councoillour tuesday and my GP on Thursday.

I would b greatful about any help. Im totally lost and confused.

Beetle

[Andy84]

Hi Beetle, 

i hear you. I'm in the same boat at the moment. I'm currently off work and trying to get myself back on track. I have found that I am best to do what I can at this point in time and to not be too hard on myself for what I can't face just yet. I've found reading a good book to provide a break from my negative thoughts and try to get out for a walk. Today has been a bad day and I haven't achieved much, but have done a bit of reading . 

Best wishes

Your body will tell you how much is too much, this is what I have  learned. 

[Jo3]

Hi Beetle,

I agree with Andy84 - I don't plan my life anymore.  I just go from day to day and some days it might be hour by hour.  

I work part time and at the moment can't work full time as it is too much for me mentally to cope.  I need to work but also have my time at home alone without the kids around.

It's hard trying to find a fine balance but that;s really what you need.

 Yes your body will tell you when you've done too much.  My body tells me all the time when I am too stressed or need a break - I end up getting sick and need time off work to recover. It's my body's way of saying - slow down.

Jo

[Beetle]

HI

yes u r both right, its hard to find the right dose of activity.

Without the meds i could't do nothing: no shopping,no socialising,no working,could't even walk properly since my leg stopped working.I thought i have MS.

With the meds its better now but im so scared that if do too much that i fall into a heap

I feel i am not able to listen to my body or never have. sigh........:(

Beetle

[geoff]

dear Beetle, you can offer suggestions to other people as best you can, because the problem they have might not necessarily mean that you have it, however if you can relate to their concerns it's easier to advise them, because it's something that you can't do for yourself, you probably know that you should, but too frightened.

You can't do what you have done before because you have no interest, you're lost that desire, just as myself being a handyman for so many years, now I have lost any desire to even pick up a hammer, and if anybody told me that this would happen 30 years ago I would have laughed at them, but now it's happened.

You won't be able to plan ahead as depression will block any thoughts as you may think that you are too scared to plan activities in advance.

The medication you are taking has only been 3 weeks so your body has to accept this drug going through your system, so you are unsure as to be able to judge any time limits as how long you can do anything.

If your depression was caused by your previous activities then generally you will lose any interest to go back and continue on, just like me being a handyman.

Hope to hear back from you, and all of these replies back to you you can mention them with your counsellor. Geoff.

[Beetle]

HI Goeff

Awww thanks for your reply. Well i di manage to take up the walking. even had a swim yesterday!!! wouldt have thought i could do that 3 weeks ago! this meds are so powerful! So i did keep my interest in the outdoors thats good.I did loose my ambition for my job though. I hope that comes back since I am newly graudated and need my ambition back, so not having that is scary! I also lost my ability to push myself. You know I used to push myself to and beyond my limits all my life. I guess i did that because i could only feel something and deal with these internal tensions if i was super super active and doing stuff. It worked for a while until i crashed. if i would have known that those were all a symptoms of the underlying depression and anxiety I would have gone to a doc decades ago. but noone tested me.

So it got worse.now i got two weeks off. i feel im such a lazy blodger. I feel because i dont push myself and dont feel so terrible exhausted anymore I havent accombilshed  a successful day! Just because the feeling of constant pressure and 'i must must must' is gone. The internal pain is gone and the the other symptoms. ITS REALLY REALLY AWESOME that they are gone.

So basically i feel like a foetus that has to learn to adjust to its surroundings again. to explore everythng from scratch since everythng is so different. Sorry i ramble and this probably doesnt make any sense to you guys , does it?????

[geoff]

dear Beetle, yes it does, and now you are adjusting to this new feeling since taking this medication.

People who push themselves all the time eventually break down as we get older, ha look at me I can't even run now after the hip operation, so I have broken down. lol

May I ask as to what you graduated in, and is this hooked up with your job. Geoff.

[kitping]

Dear Beetle, I am new to this forum but feel a need to respond to your post. I have always been very driven and pushed myself to achieve things in my life and business. As a result I burnt out and now going through a depressive episode. Now needing to take time out from work and try to get back to normal through my new meds, so I can relate to you.

[kitping]

What I meant to say is that I also find it extremely difficult to not plan my life as my mind / post is so week. I need to learn to chill and relax. Changing my lifestyle is also something I need to adapt to......I hope that makes sense.

[Beetle]

Hi Kitping hi Goeff

Goeff sorry to hear you got a bad hip.I hope u improve and the bionic hip lets you run again? Im a nurse by the way. But believe me I cant nurse myself. Im a complete failure to look after my own needs!

Kitping, welcome! hope you find this forum useful. I found it very helpful 🙂 I am also quite ned here.yes i realised this week after talking to my councilour and my GP that i was a complete bundle of nerves. Burn out sounds right. Even if i was tired I said always yes to meetings and appointments and even exercised. The rationale was: come on bettle dont stop once you stop you fall asleep-cant do that!!!Just ignore the lazy body move....MOVE....

Well same as you at some point i got sick and also developed depression and anxiety.

Now i feel better , thanks to the drugs, but i realise i have to learn to take it easy and to say to people: yes i would love to see you/come but i see how i feel that day.

I found if i leave it open if i come or not produces less pressure and feel less bad if i dont turn up. certainly it depends what it is. if  a friend is sick or its an really important appointment i certainly go. but all the other meetings can often be skipped in favour of my mental health.

I can seee now I have a long way ahead to learn how to live with those disorders. But i think i am on the right track. I hope my doc doesnt take my drugs away too soon though 😮

Beetle