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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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animallover1991 unmotivated,depressed, lonely
  • replies: 4

hi to anyone reading this.... i don't really know where to begin, I'm 22 female suffering depression, I have been for a long while. part of my depression stems from being unhappy with my own personality and the lack of motivation I have for anything ... View more

hi to anyone reading this.... i don't really know where to begin, I'm 22 female suffering depression, I have been for a long while. part of my depression stems from being unhappy with my own personality and the lack of motivation I have for anything in life. One thing that made me unhappy was working at the same place for 6 years, and I finally pushed myself to resign from my job. However I didn't have another job to go to, which was probably not the smartest thing to do. But I still don't regret my decision because I figured if I didn't leave now i wouldn't probably ever leave and not experience other job ect. i do have some savings but obviously I can't just live off that. everyone asks me what other job I would like to do...and I really don't know. I mean I feel like just the thought of looking for a new job, I couldn't even be bothered. I keep putting it off, aswell as my traveling aspirations, I just can't seem to motivate myself to go and book one. partially because I'm scared of being in another country with people I don't know, and I'm not exactly a good friend maker... I basically only have my bf which I don't think is really a serious relationship, but I still enjoy his company and I rely on him to make me feel good, which I know is not healthy to be with someone to make you happy. i want to be able to join a sports club, go travelling and meet new people but it's like there is no drive in me or like I need someone else to push me to do things. I feel like I'm wasting my life away, but then some days I wonder why am I alive, what do I have to look forward to? I think the lack of confidence I have making new. friends is and always has been a problem for me. sometimes I think perhaps I couldn't be bothered with humans and I don't want to make friends, I don't know.....

Troyboy I'm really struggling
  • replies: 22

I've suffered depression and anxiety for over ten years, I've tried medication, counselling ect and i eventually got to a point where I managed it, don't get me wrong everyday is a struggle but I get up and go, I've lost so many friends, family over ... View more

I've suffered depression and anxiety for over ten years, I've tried medication, counselling ect and i eventually got to a point where I managed it, don't get me wrong everyday is a struggle but I get up and go, I've lost so many friends, family over this as most just couldn't understand why I just couldn't cheer up or get over it, so when it all boiled down to it, I had my mum and dad, my grandparents, my wife and my dog jasmine. But in the last few years I've lost my mum, my grandparents, and my father had a stroke and is in nursing care, so I don't worry him no matter how bad I feel. My wife is always been here for me and still is, she has seen me at my worse and stuck by me through it all, I know she cares and will always listen, but I don't want to lump it all on her, it worries her greatly and will always ask what can she do to help, but I can never answer that since I don't know myself. i know some will find this stupid, but the reason I finally decided to join and post was because of my dog, jasmine is 14 years old and now has arthritis, on going to the vet yesterday we have been informed that we should get a X-ray in a weeks time if she hasn't improved as it may be bone cancer, if that is the case there is not much we can do. My wife is hurting just as bad as me but is very strong and knows that if she is in server pain the responsible thing to do would be let her go. I do understand this as well, but what people don't get is that, when I was diagnosed jasmine was there, when I was rolled up in a ball crying, walking the house while everyone slept, sitting in the yard, and had no one else to talk to she was there. And now it could end up being my decision to let her go, I will never let her live in pain, but it's tearing me up inside thinking what could happen, maybe the medication will work, maybe nothing will show on the X-ray, but a week is so long to see my friend struggle and wait for medication to start taking effect. I will also add that we live interstate from my remaining family and friends, my wife works full time and I'm at home alone all day, jasmine is who I turn to in those low moments during the day, a simple sit and chat to her works better than any medication ever has,I have had pets die before but I've been well lucky as it has always been peacefully in there sleep. I know this is silly but I'm really struggling at the moment and all my demons are hitting me full force. id welcome any advice

Susan83 Lost and Alone
  • replies: 3

This is my first time posting here... So I thought I would tell my story.... Sorry if its long I haven't really shared it with anyone. I have been in a very dark place for about a year now... slowly progressing and getting darker.... It started when ... View more

This is my first time posting here... So I thought I would tell my story.... Sorry if its long I haven't really shared it with anyone. I have been in a very dark place for about a year now... slowly progressing and getting darker.... It started when my youngest of two children started big school. It was one of the worse days of my life, I use to come home and cry for hours. I felt like my baby had been taken away and there was nothing I could do about it.About a month later I got a job working school hours and I thought it was my saviour. Something to keep me busy while my kids were at school....In August my Grandmother (G) who I was very close with passed away.... She was 89, didn't want to be here, just wanted to be with my Grandad, the love of her life.... She just had to wait to die... I know that she didn't want to be here... I know that she is happier now.... BUT ITS STILL HARD.... Harder than I ever imagined it would be... I don't know how to make it better and I don't know how to think about her without feeling sooooooo sad I have thought many a times about killing myself and getting away from the pain.. I have researched different methods and then I have also researched "failed attempts" in an effort to find the foul proof way. I have even once tried to do it but people were in the way.In the last week my husband has been on holidays and caught me a few times crying in the shower... I start thinking about something and work myself into a big mess and feel useless. My kids are getting more independent they don't depend on me entirely anymore..... just all little stuff.... I end up getting so down I don't want anything except to kill myself. I don't feel worthy of getting help like lifeline or anything like this.... I honestly feel like everyone would be better off without me.When I become the unrepressed me I can see how bad my thoughts are and how easy I will leave my life once I find the right way... A few days ago I had a HUGE talk with my husband and told me all the things that have been getting me down and I went to my GP for help. He is going to organise some counselling and my husband has suggested I look at ways to overcome it rather than how to end life.. Which has brought me here.... He also suggested that I talk to my mum.... Another thing that has been getting me down is that my mum doesn't have time for me. My sister is pregnant and my mum says she has to be there all the time incase she goes into labour (she only lives 10minutes away from me) This has been getting me really worked up since I made the decision to get help because I would really like to talk to mum about it. It was her mother that passed and she knows how close I was to her....Tonight I decided to stop working myself up over it and ask her to come over one night next week, I couldn't ask her in person as the decline will really upset me.... I sent her a text, I asked her to come over wednesday night, I said if she can't then just ignore my text.... I haven't heard anything yet. It makes me feel so unworthly and unloved.... I know that sounds selfish....My parent live on a yacht and I had my two kids without my mum even being in the country.... When you go into labour you know a good hour or more before you have to go to hospital... I don't understand why she can't come here and then if my sister calls she can go home to her place.... I have lost both my grandfathers two aunts and a cousin and none of them have been as hard as loosing my G.... I just can't seem to find a way out....

almost_there_ It will get better, I promise :)
  • replies: 3

It really scares me to see all of these posts here - I honestly had no idea these so-called 'illnesses' were so common. I am recovering (almost fully recovered now) from depression, and I can honestly tell you, as much as it's SO hard for you to beli... View more

It really scares me to see all of these posts here - I honestly had no idea these so-called 'illnesses' were so common. I am recovering (almost fully recovered now) from depression, and I can honestly tell you, as much as it's SO hard for you to believe right now, it does get better! I know that it might seem crazy to you now - I have been there. You are probably rolling your eyes at this post, and saying 'WHEN?'... That's probably the most common question I asked.. 'When am I going to get better??' The thing is, unfortunately no one can really answer that question for you. The trick is to just keep in mind, that it WILL get better. Even though you may not see it now, and you may think I'm crazy, but as long as you want it to, you will get better. The best thing I did for myself, and I found what helped me most, was just to get out of bed every day. It doesn't matter if you have nothing in particular to do, just get out of bed. Eat some breakfast, take a walk outside (even if it's only to your back fence in your pajamas), maybe watch a movie, do something you love (even if you may not enjoy it right now), and just take each day as it comes. You might feel one day that you're getting better, and the next feel absolutely horrible, but honestly, the best thing to do is get out of bed. As hard as it is to see that when you are comfy hiding under the covers, it honestly really helps, and even if you feel just a tiny bit better, that's something. Hang in there everyone! And remember, people DO care about you I know it's hard, but you will get through this.

jodes76 had enough
  • replies: 1

Can't handle it anymore, my daughter is full on hard work. Lately she been pushing me over. My hubby is also hard work. I hate being controlled. I feel like I need to get away from it all. It's not helping my mental state. I'm so sick of this. I want... View more

Can't handle it anymore, my daughter is full on hard work. Lately she been pushing me over. My hubby is also hard work. I hate being controlled. I feel like I need to get away from it all. It's not helping my mental state. I'm so sick of this. I want to leave I don't want or need this shit anymore. I'm smoking I can't quit I can't deal with it at all. It really hurts but I need to get out and change things. I love my hubby but I'm not in right state to deal with this anymore. Feel like a slave. When I do get try get time to myself I get made to feel guilty. So feel down right now, trying to beat the urge to hurt myself. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

debi30 post surgery depression???
  • replies: 1

hi,im now 7 weeks post op from TT and arm lift, i lost 74.5kgs and needed excess skin removed i was due to return to work 2.5 weeks after surgery but recovery took a little longer, once i was due to do back i found out i had internal bleeding and a n... View more

hi,im now 7 weeks post op from TT and arm lift, i lost 74.5kgs and needed excess skin removed i was due to return to work 2.5 weeks after surgery but recovery took a little longer, once i was due to do back i found out i had internal bleeding and a nasty infection, ended up back in hospital and had another surgery.. last monday i went back to work and i now have a new position at work due to people leaving etc.. but since monday i cry at the drop of hat { im far from a cryer}, no appitite, have a constant sick feeling in my tummy, and feel on edge, not sleeping.. my dr recons its post surgery depression and wants me on meds - but i dont really want to as my body is still jammed packed with medications... but i also cant go thru like this.. im not me im not anything. i know my body is healing but im struggling with the let it go and ill get over it vers take the pills and feel better, ive never in my life had depression issues.... anyone else had this who can help??

Jo3 will i ever get better
  • replies: 2

I don't know if I will ever get better. Whether this damn depression that eats away at me will disappear. Whether my anxiety levels will drop. Will I ever have self esteem or confidence? Will I ever lose weight or be strong? There are so many scenari... View more

I don't know if I will ever get better. Whether this damn depression that eats away at me will disappear. Whether my anxiety levels will drop. Will I ever have self esteem or confidence? Will I ever lose weight or be strong? There are so many scenarios and questions that I can't answer. Today I feel sort of okay. I went for a 6km walk with my hubby this morning and now my legs are sooo sore. Sitting on my deck in the sunshine listening to the birds whistling away among the trees I feel free but scared. I still have so much trepidation where it concerns my parents. And I don't have any self esteem, in fact I hate myself so much; I hate the way I look, my body, the weight I have put on from the anti depressants and the lack of confidence. I struggle daily even though I work (that's when I put on a mask). I still wonder about self harm, still wonder what's it like to go to hospital. I am scared that I may never get this depression out of my head, my body, me. I am scared that it will be with me forever. It's hard to not be scared when the thoughts pop up about self harming and suicide come up. Do I just keep taking the meds forever. I asked my psych yesterday if I could come off them and his reply was that talking to my parents now wouldn't solve the depression instantly. So that means that i have to keep taking them. Sorry guys, I am just not understanding depression, I thought I knew what it was but i don't think i really do. Was I born with it; did i develop it as I got older; is it a chemical imbalance? Will I ever get better - I guess time will tell. Jo

Notmyself New Year,............
  • replies: 4

Happy New year to all my Beyond Blue Friends!!! I hope that through all your daily struggles you managed to feel some happiness and positive energy throughout the festive season!! I haven't written in such a long time and for that I feel guilty and s... View more

Happy New year to all my Beyond Blue Friends!!! I hope that through all your daily struggles you managed to feel some happiness and positive energy throughout the festive season!! I haven't written in such a long time and for that I feel guilty and sorry!! You've all supported me alot and I feel as if I have been selfish! Never the less, here I go!! If i were to reflect truthfully and entirely on my last year I would be a ball of tears, fears and sadness! So I'll keep it brief. It sucked major Donkeys..... Depression.... Other health issues, simply not coping with my everyday life, very nearly destroyed a lot of relationships in my life and my will to get better and try to carry on a strong healthy happy person. Christmas day its self was a near on disaster, an event Christmas eve most def ruined my Christmas and I can say that it was a turning point in my head and in my heart!! I decided to try my very hardest and put all my effort into staying positive!! So far so good!! Now I know it seems so smug of me to say it but I am proud of my achievement so far!!! Its hard, and very very trying, but Im not giving up. I put a shield up and when I get those feelings of that sneaky black dog creeping up to rock me, I bang bang deflect all the bad vibes and think of something thats making me happy!!! Naturally I still have moments, but I'm just trying not to dwell on those moments! I got a promotion at work, my relationship seems to be blossoming even more so, This is all good and I feel appreciated and respected! Its going well!! Plus I no longer have to work away so i think thats a pretty big chunk of my problems about to go away!! My biggest struggle at the moment is small and its my weight, I know its only a minor issue but its mine!! I'm 25 172-175 cm tall and I weigh 57kg, just before Christmas i was 55kg and thats where I want to be, so Im doing it!! I often get down about my weight and realistically I know I have nothing to worry about Im not fat or over weight, im closer to underweight than I am over weight but it is a strange little thing always on my mind! I wear baggy clothes so I feel smaller!! I watch what I eat. But its nothing major so Im feeling positive about life again!! So I want to thank all of you have had helped me through the hard times, and to everyone who is struggling over whatever just remember that no problem is stupid, your not alone and thongs will get better. Dont ever give up. xxxx LP

Jo3 seeing my psych today
  • replies: 8

Hi everyoneCan't wait for 12 noon when I see my psych. It's been 10 days since my last session but it feels like forever. So much has happened in the past week that it's doing my head in. I thought that me seeing my parents would help me feel a lot h... View more

Hi everyoneCan't wait for 12 noon when I see my psych. It's been 10 days since my last session but it feels like forever. So much has happened in the past week that it's doing my head in. I thought that me seeing my parents would help me feel a lot happier. But I'm not and I now know that it's the depression, the chemical imbalance that is affecting me. So what do I do? Keep taking my meds, keep seeing my psych and GP, exercising, doing stuff that I can do. Maybe in my head I thought I would be "fixed" "cured" when I saw my parents. But that's not the case. Not at all. In fact part of me feels like I am heading downhill again. Is it the emotions. It has to be - the roller coaster of emotions I've had this week. I've had to deal with so much this week that I really don't know how I coped - well I'm not that's the point.You know, I craved for my parents for three years, I cried every day for them; and then it turned to my dad. I wanted to see him but couldn't, i wanted a hug from him but couldn't. And then last week I got the hug I so much wanted.I have a feeling this is going to take a long time for me to be happy again, thing is will I ever be happy again? I try, i really do try to be the best wife, mum, daughter, sister, friend. I really do but sometimes I don't know. I doubt myself so much, I have high expectations of myself, i can't make mistake, i can't fail. And I have - because I have depression, I have a mental illness.So where to from here - I don't have a clue. All I know is that my parents are speaking to me, I lost my last grandparent the other day; i struggle to work, i struggle to be happy. I don't know anymore.I hope by being on here I can gain some strength to keep going, because some days it's not easy; some days it's hard. I know I have a lot of friends on here now that we support each other; and i hope that one day, if anyway possible, we could all meet up - i would just love to hug everyone and say thanks. Thanks for keeping me alive, thanks for keeping me strong and thanks for picking me up when I'm down. (wiping me eyes with tissue). I really and truly believe that BB is a fantastic and safe site to use; we all understand each other and know what we're going through. I think I'm rambling on now, so I will go. Let you all know how my session goes today - though I'm thinking it won't be great, I'll need tissues.Jo xx

alenaxo Why am i feeling like this? Need help :(
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, Ok where do i begin.. I am 22 years old and have battled depression for 6 years now. Unfortunately it runs in my family and have the personality for it to target. I have big self esteem issues to the point where i cant leave the house wi... View more

Hi everyone, Ok where do i begin.. I am 22 years old and have battled depression for 6 years now. Unfortunately it runs in my family and have the personality for it to target. I have big self esteem issues to the point where i cant leave the house without hiding behind make up and fake tan. I cant take any compliments and have never thought im good enough. I have an amazing boyfriend where sometimes i think how did i even get this person and doubt myself completely. I fear the future and just think he will eventually break up with me. I self doubt myself that much that jealousy comes into the picture. I get jealous even when he goes out with his friends.. WHY?! i think that his friends might egg him on to find someone better than me because i think im not good enough even though he would never do that i somehow keep putting ideas in my head that im not good enough and that he will just find better. I have no confidence in myself and he has to suffer for it. My depression has even affected us sexually because im not confident and self doubt myself. My boyfriend can never understand what im going through and just says im being silly but there is so much more to just being "silly". Sometimes i am that fed up with the way i think that i just cant be bothered anymore, i dont know how to help myself?? I am called beautiful all the time even by strangers yet i cant take any compliments or see why they are saying that. Everyday im negative in any situation and i dont want to be. I have tried reading self help books, they work for a short term period but eventually my depression takes over me. Can anyone please give me some advise who is going through what i am???? thanks, Alena