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Depression

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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 1

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Shock How much do we actually know about depression? Why are there no depression experts?
  • replies: 12

Just came out of hospital again and its left me feeling pretty damn hopeless. Tried taking my own life again and the only treatment I get is to 'talk about it' with a psychologist. But that just doesnt work for me! I've talked and talked and talked t... View more

Just came out of hospital again and its left me feeling pretty damn hopeless. Tried taking my own life again and the only treatment I get is to 'talk about it' with a psychologist. But that just doesnt work for me! I've talked and talked and talked to counsellors and psychologists for the last 13 years - its clear its not something that I respond to. Likewise, I have tried just about every anti-depressant under the sun. I will probably either soon end up dead or in hospital again. But I wanted to ask, is there any 'depression experts' out there? Does anyone know of such a thing? I have a friends with more physical ailments - epilepsy and diabetes, for example - and they get to see specialists. Does anything like this exist for depression? (Sorry for the whinge. I really do appreciate the work people do at hospitals. I am just kind of desperate).

j4k3 You know what? I've reached my limit.
  • replies: 3

I'm professionally successful. If you looked at me you'd think I'm doing pretty well. I'm on the verge of tears all the time. I broke up with my wife/gf of many years in a new city. I have no support here, or anywhere else, since we've been moving ar... View more

I'm professionally successful. If you looked at me you'd think I'm doing pretty well. I'm on the verge of tears all the time. I broke up with my wife/gf of many years in a new city. I have no support here, or anywhere else, since we've been moving around so much. I have no support network, nowhere to go and have an extremely isolating job. I've spent the last 3 months thinking about suicide from the time I wake up until I sleep. I can't take it any more. I even find myself online planning the best method with the least repercussions if it doesn't happen to work (and I plan on it working... I just don't want to end up a vegetable). I think I've selected the method. Honestly? I've just had enough. Life isn't fun any more. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this.

mel13 no one believes me
  • replies: 6

for the past 2-3 years i have been suffering from depression and mild anxiety and selfharm .. i have done many only checklists and tests and i get very high every time i hoped it would get better or even go away for i monitored it and kept checking t... View more

for the past 2-3 years i have been suffering from depression and mild anxiety and selfharm .. i have done many only checklists and tests and i get very high every time i hoped it would get better or even go away for i monitored it and kept checking to see if my score went down but if anything its been worse.from the very start i tried talking to my parents about how ive been feeling and they didnt really take me serious they said its normal for teenagers to feel that way but its still been hanging round for a few years now i and i know its not normal ive asked them again if i can go see a gp or something about it and they said no you need spiritual healing ot something keep in mind my parents are highly religious and think i dont need any other help but to believe in god. and i feel like i have no one to talk to i tried talking to my bestfriend and my sister she thinks im fine ... i must hide it pretty good for no one to noticed but im feeling really not to good im doing my last year of high school next year and i honestly dont see my self making it through the year i have no where else to go so thought id come here i just want some answers i want to know what its like to enjoy life instead of feeling like im going no where..

Steve_ster Living with anxiety & depression - Work in Progress
  • replies: 5

I registered with this site tonight. I think "they will think I am a fool" they will think "this guy is nuts". I really do despite 20 plus years of feeling like this. I think "they will say I am strange and bad". I will awake in the morning and think... View more

I registered with this site tonight. I think "they will think I am a fool" they will think "this guy is nuts". I really do despite 20 plus years of feeling like this. I think "they will say I am strange and bad". I will awake in the morning and think 1st thought "OMG I wrote on beyondblue site...OMG...". I will have this on my mind every minute until I find there is some distance between doing this and then I will find something else to be totally anxious about. This I know is how my mind works. I look for something to worry about always. I am constantly in a state of anxiety about something. None of these worries ever happen. Once it did when my work place were restructuring and redundancying, I was told if you are running late and do not call by 9:00am you are in trouble. I wound up in mental unit at hospital and if you know places like that, it is not easy to call in - I called at 9:10am. They stated in there dismissal letter that they understood my issues but being in hospital was not a valid excuse. Despite the initial distress, the worry about something happening was way worse than when it (out of a thousand worries) actually happenned. Post script they lost an expert and within a week (3 years ago) a better workplace found a golden goose. I still worry every 10 or so minutes about being sacked from where I work. It is a disease. I am in a constant state of worry. I've tried eliminating my causes of worry - doesn't matter I'll find something to worry about. Tomorrow and maybe for a week it will be worry about this post. I live with not being able to get to sleep at night. Waking with such worry I vomit..or dry reach if I was too worried/indifferent to eat previously. Somehow I've managed to be in constant employment 20 years. I don't know how. Luckily my current boss has been there and he thinks I am the best employee he ever had (he is 68 years old). Start time is 8am. I average 12pm. I don't call. I take 30% LWOP each fortnight. But I am good at my job. I don't get holidays as with my absence it is eaten up and accrues less. I don't know what I would do if I did have a break. I have no social circle. Beyond blue has been/is a constant fundraiser at workplaces. I rang them years ago and all they could do was give me a number to call to make an appointment with a shrink..in Victoria...I am a Queenslander!...things seem to have progressed since then. Although tonights writing is cathartic...it will stress the hell out of me in morning. But at least that sad attempt at Movember raised enough money for me to have somewhere to write. I think Victoria needs to address the issue that even if Bisbane...not to mention rural Australia. that you are not some AFL, greenie, cultural elite Melbourne organisation. See...I am creating reasons for regret...will happilly supply me with total regret doing this tonight. Imagine no one will bother replying. I have found some good things to keep me going over the years. Will make work. Anyone's friend Steve

MaryG Hour by hour,Day by day
  • replies: 7

I wasn't sure if I should continue my old thread or start a new one. I guess I chose this option. I have not had a drink now since the 17th of September and I feel raw and exposed. I have been dulling myself for so long now with alcohol that I find m... View more

I wasn't sure if I should continue my old thread or start a new one. I guess I chose this option. I have not had a drink now since the 17th of September and I feel raw and exposed. I have been dulling myself for so long now with alcohol that I find myself now experiencing my black hole of despair in all it's glory. I have been reading a book by Jenny Stewart called Inner Weather: Learning from Depression. It is her personal story and she describes the way she felt and how I feel in the morning so perfectly. "...having achieved the partial relief of sleep (hoping against hope that, against all evidence to the contrary, the pall will dissipate overnight), you ‘wake and feel the fell of dark, not day’ (Gerard Manley Hopkins). But it is not just the dark that has taken hold, for that will dissipate. There is a knot of anxiety in the solar plexus, and beyond and behind that, something worse … a feeling of dread." In the last two years I would have killed those feelings with alcohol, or at times with self harm. But now I am trying very hard to get through hour by hour and day by day. I have another 2 weeks till I see the psych again (how dare she take a holiday just when I was starting to get help!) I have been trying meditation. A mindfulness session recommended to me by the psych. I keep falling asleep before I finish the track. But I find it helps a little. I have always exercised a lot so that helps too. But all of these things are temporary distractions that divert my attention. Once the activity is over I'm right back to the hole again. It's like I expect it to be there waiting for me. On the rare occasion it's not there I almost miss it. In some strange way it is almost comforting. "Deep depression is a place more terrible than can easily be imagined. But it is a kind of refuge from confrontations that are even more difficult. Once you have realised this, no matter how difficult the circumstances, the refuge is no longer available and you must fight the demons, knowing what they are" That is another quote from Jenny Stewart's book and I understand what she is saying here. It makes perfect sense to me. It is like a refuge at times. Somewhere I can hide. Thanks once more for listening. Mary.

dare2diva Ain't life grand...wait while I pick up that sarcasm lying down there
  • replies: 5

Community Service Announcement. The following is a self indulgent pity party for 1. Please feel free to hit the back button. I'm currently in a mixed mode which is simply delightful. I am depressed as hell but can't cry. The voices are driving me eve... View more

Community Service Announcement. The following is a self indulgent pity party for 1. Please feel free to hit the back button. I'm currently in a mixed mode which is simply delightful. I am depressed as hell but can't cry. The voices are driving me even nuttier than I already am. I am super excited about not sleeping (no sarcasm this time) I have spent so much money the past few weeks it isn't funny and I am so angry I am ready to do myself in and anyone who gets in my way. I am having physio due to neck pain and I find it so difficult to lie there for any length of time because my brain is constantly buzzing that the whole act of sitting still is past boring and well on the way to the morgue. I can't even entertain the idea of a massage for relaxation. Anyhoo. The past 11mths I have been bullied at work. I reported it, it was ignored then I really lost my lolly and finally it was taken seriously only to find the bully had resigned so they can't do anything. I work for the government so we are going through reforms. I had to apply for my job which I have been doing for over 3yrs and I found out the other day that I didn't get it. We have a union agreement so they have to pay me while they find me a job but still it does nothing for my self esteem. It has made me think a lot over the weekend. What is my worth as a human being? My older sisters family are all into the 'government is trying to poison us' conspiracy and mental health only exists because the pharmaceutical companies make too much money. All I need to do is change my behaviour and I will be fine! My younger sister uses me as an ATM and only visits when she needs money. My father, who lives with me since my mothers passing, is only concerned about making sure he has somewhere to live. According to him I am fat, ugly, useless and no wonder no one wants to marry me. How could anyone love me. I've pushed my friends away because I don't know who I can trust and I don't even have a dog that loves me unconditionally. So if we add all of that to the fact that I have no job, there really is no point to my existance. Accept perhaps the 4 pairs of shoes I have designed that I am waiting on being delivered. I feel completely lost. I have no sense of self. No self worth, no sense of value from others. This world keeps sending me messages and now they are slapping me in the head saying there is no reason for you to stay. I am trying to find something to cling onto but all the little branches seem to have broken. Funny thing is that I don't feel sad about this. I feel sad about nothing but not about this realisation. I guess spending 2 days of the weekend battling a blinding migraine and cold haven't helped me close down my pity party. T

jodes76 Slow and steady
  • replies: 3

In the last week I have been over using alcohol as a way to cope, I was blacking out and not feeling good about it the next day. On Friday I drank again and got into a self harm state so much so that I got my hubby to take me to hospital. This really... View more

In the last week I have been over using alcohol as a way to cope, I was blacking out and not feeling good about it the next day. On Friday I drank again and got into a self harm state so much so that I got my hubby to take me to hospital. This really scared me into trying to change, learning to deal with depression and anxiety and fighting rather than giving in. Went to my first AA meeting today which was really good. There's still along way or me to go but I am determined to get there.

The_Real_David_Charles A stress free birthday for Geoff ?
  • replies: 4

Did all those social anxieties get held at bay ? The grand daughter lose her nappy ? The twin brother reveal the secret of his slimness ? It's possible, even with the usual family problems and frustrations, to put aside the birthday flux and actually... View more

Did all those social anxieties get held at bay ? The grand daughter lose her nappy ? The twin brother reveal the secret of his slimness ? It's possible, even with the usual family problems and frustrations, to put aside the birthday flux and actually enjoy each other's company. I like the fact that you took a day off responding (Geoff's a long termer - 7 years - he is coming up for parole in 3 more years. Lol). It was nice that you gave time to yourself and bade Beyondblue to the back shelf for a day. I'm sure the mods got chance to have a second cup of coffee. I don't know what happened to me this weekend but I was anxiety free and even stood my ground at the dog park with a most bullying type of owner. I find the only problem with altercations is I can't tell if I'm being normal or if someone is sneakily saying "He's pyscho" behind my back. Then I replay the conversation for a few hours to annoy myself ! Sometimes it's not worth having a barny with someone - they'll forget it by dinner and I'll still be rolling it around my head all night. Maybe that's why I respond so much - other people's worries drown out my own. The best way to get a better perspective is to listen to another persons problems. I don't know, there's never a dull moment on BB. Adios, David. PS And 128 is a good age my friend. Lol.

Epiphany Nervous about getting help
  • replies: 5

Hi I think I have depression and maybe anxiety, I've just been really stressed out, down, and pessimistic about my future for a while now, and just recently I have been having suicidal thoughts a lot of the time. I've also been self harming for 3 yea... View more

Hi I think I have depression and maybe anxiety, I've just been really stressed out, down, and pessimistic about my future for a while now, and just recently I have been having suicidal thoughts a lot of the time. I've also been self harming for 3 years. I have been wanting to reach out for help for a while but I only really feel ready to now. I am thinking about making an appointment with a counsellor at uni, but I really struggle to let people know about my problems and let them in so I'm not really sure what to tell them or how to begin... I just feel like there is so much going on in my mind that I can't really pin point what the main issues are or get my thoughts straight. Any tips on how to ease into the appointment or what to say to begin with? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Brodiebear I'm giving up.
  • replies: 4

Hi, I'm 15 years old, been struggling for depression for at least 4 years now and I know some people don't think you can get depression that young, but it can come at any stage. I've been diagnosed with severe depression, I've lost all motivation to ... View more

Hi, I'm 15 years old, been struggling for depression for at least 4 years now and I know some people don't think you can get depression that young, but it can come at any stage. I've been diagnosed with severe depression, I've lost all motivation to do anything. I don't feel like eating, sleeping, getting out of bed or even leaving the house. I just feel like I've almost completely given up trying and I don't want to live anymore. It's hard living life like this, because I have no enjoyment with anything and I don't really have friends or am close with my family because I just feel so alone. i don't want to do it anymore and I can't, I'm so close to the edge and in sick if people saying its for attention, I never wanted my life to be like this and I would never want to have depression, it feels so lonely and horrible, like nobody understands. i just don't know what to do anymore, I'm giving up.