Kinda stuck.

[sparrowhawk]

Hi, I'm new here. 🙂

I'm 21 and was treated for depression for most of my adolescence, with mixed results. I've been off the meds for over a year. I tend to find that I get depressed in cycles - not sure if this is normal or not.

I've been really good since I came off the meds - hardly any significant periods of depression - but this last week has just sucked. I've just finished my uni degree and I think it was really helping to keep me occupied, and now I've got a huge chunk of free time. I work but my hours aren't regular. I'm feeling really lost and alone. I spent most of last week depressed and had a bit of a breakdown on Friday (in front of my mum, which wasn't great).

My parents don't really get it. Dad thinks I'm just "moping" and that the only reason I'm feeling down is because I can't find steady work - he thinks that because I've dealt with depression for years, I should know how to help myself. I do know, but I'm not motivated to do any of that stuff. Mum doesn't really talk to me much about how I'm feeling and tells me to "snap out of it" or "stop" when I'm upset. Siblings don't really understand and are too busy with their own lives & friends. Some of my friends know about my depression and understand, but usually I find I don't have anyone to talk to and that I spend most of my times listening to my friends talk about themselves (I don't mind that much, but I wish I could just vent to someone).

I'm trying to think about what's making me depressed (other than not being busy) but can't put my finger on it. Does anyone ever get depressed "for no reason"? It seems usually that this is what happens to me - I get down and can't place the cause.

I'm a lot better than I was but still not 100%. I guess I just don't want to spend another week crying, sitting around or staying in bed. Any ideas as to what I can do to get back on my feet?

[Chris_B]

Hi sparrowhawk,

If you've experienced clinical depression, it can be quite common to feel depressed 'for no reason'.  This can make us feel even worse, particularly if it's at a time in our lives when we feel that we 'haven't got anything to be depressed about'.  Mood cycles can also be part of the depression experience - some people get more depressed in winter, for example.

But often when we dig deeper, there are things going on in our lives that can aggravate our depression.  For instance, your relationship with your parents; it sounds from what you're saying that they don't understand the effect depression has and how it can be something that people experience throughout their lives.  Not having that understanding from your parents will be having an effect on you.

Perhaps you could gently point your parents towards this section of our website?  http://www.beyondblue.org.au/resources/family-and-friends/parents-and-guardians

Also having an effect on you will be the relationships you have with your friends - it sounds from what you're saying that it's a bit of a one-way street.  The best friendships are reciprocal, we talk openly to each other about what's going on in our lives and share the bad stuff as well as the good stuff.  If you don't feel appreciated, listened to, or that your company is being enjoyed, then that will be adding to your depression too.

Having irregular work hours too can be having an effect - before with your uni degree you had stability and a schedule to work to, now things are more uncertain.  That can be a trigger.

I'm not sure why you came off medication before, but it sounds like it's time to go back to your GP and discuss some options again.  A psychologist referral would be a big help, so you can talk over where things are at for you.

Hope this is helpful.

best
CB

_________________________________
Online Community Manager

[Buddy]

I agree. It is frustrating.

 The biggest problem with australia is the government is hell bent on giving away its

own jobs to immigrants and overseas people.

 I'm seriosly contemplating suicide if I don't get a job before christmas which is not that far away.

no one has missed me now so why will they miss me next year.

[geoff]

dear Sparrowhawk, firstly good comment Christopher and secondly Buddy your reply is something to worry about, especially as this time of the year a lot of business's shut down, so please get back to us.

Depression can work in cycles and by saying this it could mean that even when we are depressed then one day could be really really bad, no different than having a relapse, and this happens often, and I fall into this category as well.

By having irregular work certainly creates this, as the expectation of working today or tomorrow suddenly falls flat so you don't get to work, of course this will create depression.

Parents who say 'get over it' firstly don't understand what depression does to us, and secondly they aren't interested in helping us, so they put it in the 'hard basket'.

Most of the time we never know why we are depressed, but yes there are times for people who have lost someone close or have been cut off from any contact.

Can I ask why you stopped taking the meds and if it was due to side effects then your doctor will put on another type. Geoff.

[Chris_B]

Hi Buddy,

It's very concerning to hear you say you're thinking about suicide.  Please give our support line a call on 1300 22 46 36 at any time, 24/7 and see your GP if these thoughts continue.  And please keep talking with us and contributing here as well.

best
CB

________________________________________
Online Community Manager