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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Beetle What is me, what is the depresssion and what's the med? What I think...
  • replies: 2

HI I have read many posts and where people were wondering how the 'real me' feels. With me I can tell the difference in my solar plexus( the area behind your breastbone).The real me, my soul is there, the real me lives there. If depression/anxiety ta... View more

HI I have read many posts and where people were wondering how the 'real me' feels. With me I can tell the difference in my solar plexus( the area behind your breastbone).The real me, my soul is there, the real me lives there. If depression/anxiety takes hold that area hurts, it crushes my chest and I cant 'be'.I want to run, die, or cut the feeling out. The med manages to take that feeling away and replaces it with a positive warm feeling. I know the real me is the positive warm feeling since I did experience this feeling before-but only randomly since my mental health was 'suboptimal' and I was down in the dumps. So I believe there is only one real me- that one which can only exist with the med. So the real me was always there, and is still there, but the depression/anxiety suffocated those warm positive feelings and I could therefore never feel the real me. So now I can at least feel and am grateful for that. I lack the negative feelings which I don't miss. Sorry this post probably doesn't make any sense-but I thought it may help people to learn feeling again. My compass for the state of my mental health is my solar plexus. Its good to be able to feel that part again and not wanting to cut it out of my chest! Beetle

DrewP Lost and Empty
  • replies: 5

I feel like an idiot writing this stuff but i just need to let everything out.I am empty, i have just separated from a long term relationship with the person i was looking to marry about 2 mths ago. My little Brother has just been diagnosed with HIV,... View more

I feel like an idiot writing this stuff but i just need to let everything out.I am empty, i have just separated from a long term relationship with the person i was looking to marry about 2 mths ago. My little Brother has just been diagnosed with HIV, Im finding myself slowly turning to drugs on weekends to try and fill a void. I Can be happy and put n a brave face but then everything just come crashing down and i just want it all to end. I Have found myself in my garage numerous times writing letters to my family and friends apologising for everything i have done and how i want to end it......I have tried twice but failed and i just feel even more depressed because i can not do it. I see a picture of my ex and it just destroys me because i know i single handedly destroyed our relationship and took it for granted. I love her so much. I know i can make her happy again and i just want that chance.I ruined my relationship with my sick brother and i wasn't there for him when he got sick. I wish i could turn back time. I just want to be happy...I scared and alone..... Sorry Normal 0 false false false EN-US JA X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} 'beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.'

redcoat I may have really messed up this time
  • replies: 4

I feel like I am the worst person who has ever existed. Nothing ever seems to change things only get worse... all the time. I feel like I have had enough. I don't know how to help myself anymore and I am so tired of trying.

I feel like I am the worst person who has ever existed. Nothing ever seems to change things only get worse... all the time. I feel like I have had enough. I don't know how to help myself anymore and I am so tired of trying.

SMaria How can I do this.
  • replies: 19

Lately , l have been feeling like I'm lost and I cry at the smallest things. I am easily frustrated and this has caused me to lose one of my good friends. I don't even know how to talk to people anymore, I just feel lost and no one can help me sort t... View more

Lately , l have been feeling like I'm lost and I cry at the smallest things. I am easily frustrated and this has caused me to lose one of my good friends. I don't even know how to talk to people anymore, I just feel lost and no one can help me sort this out. I don't feel like I belong anywhere and I feel unwanted most of the time and when I try talking to people I just don't feel like they want to listen and I think that ok the other end they are judging me for how I am feeling. All I want is for my friends to care about who I am and I don't want to appear to them as a sad person who in the me will have no friends i don't know what to do i just need help

just_a_girl The root of my problem
  • replies: 9

I have recently been diagnosed with depression. I think that deep down I always knew that, but hearing someone else say it really shook me. It was a difficult journey to announce that I had a problem, to be precise it took me four years. No one aroun... View more

I have recently been diagnosed with depression. I think that deep down I always knew that, but hearing someone else say it really shook me. It was a difficult journey to announce that I had a problem, to be precise it took me four years. No one around me knew that there was this inner turmoil going on within me. Neither my friends nor my family. My mother was shocked and so saddened, when my school counselor told her I had a problem, she was visibly unnerved by the unexpected events. She held me in her arms and asked me why I felt this way. I didn't know how to answer her because I wasn't even sure of the root of my problem myself. We cried and I took a couple of days off school so that we could go see our GP. He recommended we go see a psychiatrist and he gave us all the relevant information that we needed. I had to wait a month before I got to see him. Our first session was of me practically telling him all the things I have been going through. Generally the things that I have been unable to say out loud to people before. That first session left me in tears due to confronting my suicide attempts, feeling of worthlessness and incompetence, and the black pitch of darkness that was loneliness. We have yet come to a conclusion as to why I am like this, but I am afraid that I have come to a deduction myself. And what I think is the root of my depression is not something I am happy to admit. The reason for my depression is my mother. When she held me in her arms and ask me why I am feeling depressed, she asked me whether it was due to her. At that time she was already sobbing. So I took her into my own arms and told her that it wasn’t. I think that the reason I didn’t say anything at the time was because she was so anguished already, I didn’t want to upset her anymore. My mother can be a rather terrifying person. When she is angry, for some reason I am so scared for my life. She has never been violent to me, but for some reason when she is angry I am so scared. The basic relationship of a mother and daughter should not be like this, yet this is how it is for me. Our relationship dynamic consists of her being angry and me being submissive and cowering away in silence until she has calmed down enough so that I can apologise to her without angering her further. Don’t think that she is a bad person. She is a good mother and when she is not angry she is a great friend. A lovely woman who is tough, strong, funny, sweet, beautiful and capable. But then why am I so terrified of her? Depressed and Disheartened

Gingerninja That uncontrolled crazy feeling
  • replies: 15

Hi People out there in cyberspace,I'm hoping that sharing this with you will help me come to terms with my psychological problems. It's hard to talk to people in person about the craziness in your head. The thing that sucks the most is I KNOW that I ... View more

Hi People out there in cyberspace,I'm hoping that sharing this with you will help me come to terms with my psychological problems. It's hard to talk to people in person about the craziness in your head. The thing that sucks the most is I KNOW that I have nothing to be depressed /anxious about. You know, the standard first world problems type of disorder: I have a house, partner, am an engineer, fit, good family, friends, awesome dog.I'm an almost 30yo f, who has just had a major depressive episode, where I did some pretty stupid things. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for 18 years with varying degrees of success. I'm successful in my job (apparently) however, just recently I noticed all those symptoms coming back, the self doubt, loathing, hatred, anger, frustration and crying. I didn't act on the symptoms 6-8 weeks ago and then they just progressively got worse.I am currently working away, which is a pressure cooker environment, and in a nutshell, I had a few drinks, got into a massive argument with someone, ended up in tears and then ended up self harming because it seemed like a good thing to do at the time. So.... now I have had to take time off work, to pretty much try to sort out my head again. The embarrassment, shame, guilt and additional self loathing of being such a nut case is even more depressing and just frustrating. I'm so concerned that I have totally wrecked my career and I am dreading returning to work, because I know that I'm definitely a nutcase and how am I going to cope with having to show my face there again?i want to know if anyone else ever gets tired of working on their mental health? Does it wear you down to the point where sometimes you just slip back into bad habits, because sometimes you are just too tired, or can't be bothered? I also want to know if anyone else here has violent fits of uncontrollable crying or urges to hit something? Sometimes I want to hurt myself so that I won't feel anything. How do I cope going back to work? And trying to repair the damage that I have done?I'm starting to realise that this is a lifelong condition for me, and I'll always have to filter and work on my thinking. It's a scary thought.So the other thing is I know I'm doing all the right things now, seen my GP and had my meds adjusted, got a new MHCP, booked in to see the psych.What I hate most is that there are people out there, including people on here, who are suffering from far more tragic circumstances, wether it be relationships, hardship, bullying, family issues or health problems, and yet I sit here with no perceptible problems apart from self inflicted misery.Ginger ninja.

Girl_Anachronism Staying strong for others, not myself.
  • replies: 28

So dear Jo asked how I was but I felt bad about taking over her thread. I would have posted on ymy old thread except I promised I would start a new one. Even if today is far from good, I wanted to live up to some promise I made. I'm not good today. I... View more

So dear Jo asked how I was but I felt bad about taking over her thread. I would have posted on ymy old thread except I promised I would start a new one. Even if today is far from good, I wanted to live up to some promise I made. I'm not good today. I am feeling like breaking down due to pressures from my favourite pressure points that I haven't dealt with this past year and I am torn about what to do about it. I want to practice the techniques my psych taugh tme but the monsters are resisiting hard today. Every moment that I don't do them just gives them more strength. That leads to more indecision and...well. This leads to a vicous cycle of thoughts I am trapped in at the moment. Add to that there is housework I should have done but haven't and despite sleeping all day after being sleep deprived, I am still exhausted. If I crawl into bed I will be giving up on getting anything done which is tossing another steak to my monsters. At the same time I don't know if I can do any good not in bed. I can't breakdown though because I am worried about my friend who is extremely ill right now and my husband is not doing great. So I am going to keep an eye on him tonight and take him to the doctors tomorrow. Other people need me to be strong, to be here and present so I am. It all feels like a layer of ice though, underneath which is a heaving ocean. I am tossed around by all these emotions and thoughts. They all feel so real. At the same time all I can think is that right now my good friend is fasting for a life threatening operation to remove a tumour. She has all these real problems and I'm sitting here unable to get up and do the dishes because I'm to weak to even do that. I just keep thinking that if there is any power in the universe, to take the sickness from her. She is such a lovely person, she doesn't deserve what she is going through right now. Give it to me, if someone has to get sick, to die. I'll take it. Just leave her be. None of this I'd feel right about saying out loud. Like I said, I have to be strong for her. I feel it though. Then I feel bad for feeling it, i feel bad for feeling bad... Vicous circles and all that. So yeah, I'm not conflicted and not good today. GA

jodes76 what can I do
  • replies: 2

I'm so depressed right now. Had a fall out with a friend. My daughter is getting harder to control. I don't know if I can go on like this. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel like I just want to end it all Normal 0 false false false EN-US JA X-... View more

I'm so depressed right now. Had a fall out with a friend. My daughter is getting harder to control. I don't know if I can go on like this. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel like I just want to end it all Normal 0 false false false EN-US JA X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} 'beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.'

Christa1 Want to feel better
  • replies: 15

Hello I am new here. Decided to join as I am feeling a bit alone with this illness at the moment. I have struggled with depression for many, many years and have been taking medication for it for the past 10 years, which has enabled me to keep on livi... View more

Hello I am new here. Decided to join as I am feeling a bit alone with this illness at the moment. I have struggled with depression for many, many years and have been taking medication for it for the past 10 years, which has enabled me to keep on living, but not necessarily happily. I am currently on a month's annual leave, and have 2 weeks of it left. This week I have been feeling very flat & have been having persecutory dreams. This is probably in anticipation of having to return to the 'daily grind' soon, which I dread. I have some good things happening in my life at the moment as well, but I don't seem to be able to feel the happiness that these things usually bring. I find that I rarely feel happiness about anything. I feel trapped in this life. It would be good to hear how other people obtain contentedness in their lives. Regards, Christa1

pretty_green_eyes Help with some issues of depression, isolation and no sex
  • replies: 8

I thought I would give this a go since I have nobody to talk to and I feel as though nobody understands. A few years ago I have found out that I have mixed depression. I always thought it was my normal behavior to get upset, have thoughts about suici... View more

I thought I would give this a go since I have nobody to talk to and I feel as though nobody understands. A few years ago I have found out that I have mixed depression. I always thought it was my normal behavior to get upset, have thoughts about suicide etc. My father left when I was 5 and has never really been there. Some say he never should of had children. My mother replaced him with a man only weeks after being separated who abused me. I tried to tell my mother and she accused me of lying. I was abused for over 10 years until he went to lay a hand on my mother. My father was never really there and my mother moved us to a different state so we would be further away from him. In my teenage years I rebelled as I was not allowed to do anything, so I did it. I was constantly drunk, on drugs and having sex with boys. But years later I have left this bad behavior behind. I don’t drink alcohol, don’t smoke and definitely don’t touch drugs. Some of my family members found out about my depression and anxiety and have told me just to get over it. Nobody knows how it feels to be abused unless you have been though it and one does not simply get over it even if the person is now deceased I have seen several psychologists which I feel don't do much, I have tried anti depressants and to be honest make me feel even crazier than I am and I cant drive my car on them. I have a loving partner who I have been with for over a year and two puppies. We have moved 1300 kms away from friends and family leaving me quite isolated. My partner works in mining and works away for two weeks at a time. I would like to meet people but I am not into joining clubs and things as I have anxiety and hate being out of my comfort zone so I work and relax at home. My partner also suffers from depression after losing a house to his previous girlfriend and also being in a lot of debt. Due to his depression he is unable to get an erection and will not seek help for this. We haven’t had sex in over 6 months which is somewhat frustrating and causes our only arguments from. From working two weeks straight my partner is always extremely tired when he arrives home. Sometimes too tired even to kiss me or talk to me causing me to feel unloved I would love some advice on how to deal with these issues Thanks for listening

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