Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
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Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Lovedmum Sick sore and flat as a tax
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I feel really silly bothering everyone but I’m so depressed! I’m on a fair amount of medication but can’t seem to get out of this horrible feeling I’m just about to take another week off work to just function! I’m really scared and alone atm as I fee... View more

I feel really silly bothering everyone but I’m so depressed! I’m on a fair amount of medication but can’t seem to get out of this horrible feeling I’m just about to take another week off work to just function! I’m really scared and alone atm as I feel so very ashamed of my condition. But I need to reach out as I’m very physically unwell now as I have lost so much weight which makes it all so much worse for some reason? I’m just lost that’s all, I know I’ll feel better soon but I’m so so sick of this depression popping its ugly self in my life when it wants! The anxiety is crippling first, then the flat mood follows, is this common? Thanks guys for giving me the opportunity to connect to others

Lost_Body So much is wrong and I don't know how to sort it out
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Hi, this is hard. I don’t know where to start or even how to explain where I am in my world. I have been told I have PTSD from childhood sexual abuse. I have been told I have depression; I am sitting here crying so I probably do. I have been taking a... View more

Hi, this is hard. I don’t know where to start or even how to explain where I am in my world. I have been told I have PTSD from childhood sexual abuse. I have been told I have depression; I am sitting here crying so I probably do. I have been taking anti-depressants for 20+ years. I am married to the man of my dreams; we have been together for many years. My second marriage, his first. We are both in our late 50’s. I am not about to take a long walk off a short cliff, but I am really wondering if all this pain and heaviness I am feeling will ever get better. About 4 or so years ago I started to feel like this again and it got a bit out of control and I knew I had to reach out so I saw a Dr and got a mental health plan done. It took me forever to find a psychologist or counsellor who matched my requirements. No one was taking new patients (post pandemic). I ended up just taking anyone who could see me, as I had been trying to book in for a couple of weeks. Even taking a random person I still had to wait about 6 weeks. This person ended up doing more damage to me mentally, triggering me in ways I just had to quit her services immediately. So now here I am. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I feel so bad for all the things that are wrong in our home. We don’t have the liquid income we used to. My work has reduced my hours from 5 days to 4 days per week. I am also doing less driving for work so the $'s from klm's have disappeared too. My physical health is concerning me. Everything seems to be going wrong. I have no besties that I can talk to about this. My work is WFH, my adult daughters don’t need my crap, they are both damaged from my first marriage and the treatment from their father. I am all alone and I don’t want to burden my husband with this as he doesn’t need the troubles from inside my head either. He has his own issues with work and trying to make ends meet. I am just so lost, sad, lonely and really need to feel normal, better and enjoy life, smile and know I am not a lost hope.

Shosh Cycles of down
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Hi. I am a senior (old and washed up). At present I am in a situation that is totally new to me. From 9 to 40 I had managed to keep the lid on my secret - married, had 8 children and outwardly was a positive, happy person. However the chink in my arm... View more

Hi. I am a senior (old and washed up). At present I am in a situation that is totally new to me. From 9 to 40 I had managed to keep the lid on my secret - married, had 8 children and outwardly was a positive, happy person. However the chink in my armor was discovered and exposed and that was the beginning of the first downward spiral. I relied on my faith and my friends (who have absolutely no idea what I am dealing with) to get me through. It's pretty easy when you are well-versed in denial. (I deserve an Oscar for my acting abilities!) However, about 10 years ago I was hit with a really intense bout of depression and thus began 8 years of full-on counselling with a sexual assault counsellor. She gave me so much to work with and even though I have never felt victorious I did feel like I was armed with enough stuff that I could should be able to come through anything. At one point I attended a group therapy session and it had a seriously adverse affect on me. Every other person in the group was in one way or another moving forward but I really felt like I was the dunce of the class - no positive growth, just the downward spiral.Fast forward to 3 months ago and here I am, back in another vicious downward spiral only this time there are a couple of added ingredients - I am sure that this must be what I deserve. I have no idea what triggered the depression - but it was something to do with my experience as a 9 yr old. I have a great GP but at the moment all he knows is that I am not in a good place. At this point in time I am so tired that I can't even get it together to piece together my thoughts to talk with him. I feel like I deserve to be where I am - I have a GP who is willing to listen and help, but I don't know how to say what I want to, and add to that the fact that there really is not much that can be done to get me through. I am a waste of people's time, space and energy. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

dwade3 Im finding it hard to see the point anymore
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It's been a while since my last post, im guessing its been a few months. Things have been up and down, thats as i best as i think i can describe it. I've had moments where i feel like i have a strong desire to take control of my life, to want more fr... View more

It's been a while since my last post, im guessing its been a few months. Things have been up and down, thats as i best as i think i can describe it. I've had moments where i feel like i have a strong desire to take control of my life, to want more from myself, to not let whats been plaguing me the last few years to beat me. About a month or two again, i had maybe the worst depressive episode yet. I wasn't sad or even numb anymore, i was simply tired... That one night my suicidal thoughts were at an all-time high and was less like an option and more like something i was going to do. That feeling of just having enough was overwhelming. i grabbed a knife... i wont get into any more detail because i think you can understand what i was thinking. Luckily those strong feelings never got that me low again. in fact since then, id been maybe the best ive felt in a long time. With my conviction to finally just fight back against my depression. Taking chances with my social life, and working harder in university. Of course ive had lapses during that time too, even as im writing this now i do wonder "what is point" and "what i do hope to achieve with this" And another thing i noticed was my hobbies turning into obsessions. That despite being in a social and healthy hobby, that it was really the only thing that was making me happy in my life, which is a problem. I'd begun fantasizing and neglecting things to pursue this, only to self-realize that im using this hobby as a way to cope opposed to it being a good part of my life, or maybe im just overthinking and that i dont understand what it is But otherwise i guess im okay right now, im going through a relatively light episode but i dont think it's anything i cant handle

Leleina I feel like no one understands
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Hi... today is an exceptionally blue day. My husband triggered my depression this morning by criticising my priorities. I get it, I made a mistake and I feel so wrong. Then it just started hurting all morning. I became a monster to myself. I don't kn... View more

Hi... today is an exceptionally blue day. My husband triggered my depression this morning by criticising my priorities. I get it, I made a mistake and I feel so wrong. Then it just started hurting all morning. I became a monster to myself. I don't know. I feel like no one understands and I am supposed to voice how I feel but I rather not. And I know, it is all eating me up inside, and I tell myself it's ok it's ok of course it's not but what can anyone do about it. Is it a case of a hurt ego from being told off? Letting the masks fall is making me feel so vulnerable, I rather not feel.

HearMe Weight loss - I need inspiration
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Hello I am a female with a lot of self esteem issues. I am considered obese and I feel it! i have 2 kids under 3 and I have let myself go along with my mental health, I take care of everyone else before myself. my husband and I live in a community wi... View more

Hello I am a female with a lot of self esteem issues. I am considered obese and I feel it! i have 2 kids under 3 and I have let myself go along with my mental health, I take care of everyone else before myself. my husband and I live in a community without family support so it makes it hard to let each other go and do those extra things for our well-being because we rely on each other so bad. the last time I was happy with my weight was when I weighed less but that is still classified as overweight for my height. I want to hear from people that successfully lost weight against the odds and how you did it?! Every night I say I’ll start tomorrow my Diet isn’t shocking but it could be better. I could exercise a lot more. any inspiration would be appreciated

Supermum Something needs to change
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It’s been a long time since I posted on the BB forums. I would like to think it’s because I was cured and no longer had the issues I had before and in my defence I was starting to feel more I control of my life and my head. Alas life threw me another... View more

It’s been a long time since I posted on the BB forums. I would like to think it’s because I was cured and no longer had the issues I had before and in my defence I was starting to feel more I control of my life and my head. Alas life threw me another curve ball that I wasn’t expecting and now I’m left with chaos. I’ve hit 50 and I just feel more lost, more isolated, more alone and more confused than I did when I was 18. I go to work and function as I should, I look after my home and my children as I should but inside it’s not as it should be. I am afraid that if I let just the smallest part of what’s inside out then chaos would be unleashed . The anger, bitterness, emptiness and hurt and pain would be like a black hole enveloping everything around me that I still love and cherish. That I wouldn’t be able to control that emotion, that tsunami of everything I hold inside to mask how I feel would engulf all in its path. What would I be left with ? Someone I truely didn’t like, that I despised , that people didn’t want to know ? But it’s coming , I feel it I am just a ticking time bomb going through the motions of a high functioning life. I make reckless decisions, I step out into the road without looking, I don’t care if I get caught speeding or doing something wrong. I just don’t care anymore. I don’t know what this message will achieve or why I am even writing it …

gshdnnr Feels like the world is against me
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Recently, I've been crying a lot over things, and it's hard trying to be open about my feelings to people who I am close with, especially family since they always shut me down because I'm the "youngest." It actually sucks being the youngest because e... View more

Recently, I've been crying a lot over things, and it's hard trying to be open about my feelings to people who I am close with, especially family since they always shut me down because I'm the "youngest." It actually sucks being the youngest because everything I say gets undermined. First and foremost, I have been diagnosed with depression before by my GP but after a while, things improved only because people knew about my condition but, they eventually brushed it off like it was nothing. My two siblings, mental health means the world to only them, well only theirs, because recently my sister has gotten back from her psychiatrist who tells her she's got ADHD and is telling my brother to go as well since he has signs due to hyperactivity. My parents value that. But for me? I just feel like, yes, I get stuff I need that my parents would consider, "We do everything for you to make you happy," but it feels like there's no consideration of my feelings anyway. I had an exam last week, and the morning I woke up before it, I felt worried. I was trying to eat breakfast and chose to eat leftovers from dinner, but I don't see the reason why my sister just had to comment on everything I do? Then proceed to get away with it because she's older than me. I told her to stop commenting on my diet but she yells out to my mom who begins to yell at me for acting like I'm older. So all I heard that day was yelling so instinctively I said shut up because the yelling already worsened the fact that I was annoyed. Also, it feels like my sister has the been the primary driver of getting everyone against me. I know she talks behind my back to my parents because she does so with my brother since she feels like she's the responsible sibling. I play games with a friend online and we call. Our house is an open space, and I sit next to my sister. She studies, and apparently she's been complaining to my mom that I get too loud and she can't study. I retaliated whenever I do study, she also gets loud when she talks and I don't complain and my mom tries to say that I'm too loud in a way to cover up my feelings and the conversation ends. Again, my mom came out and told me off for the same reason, however, my sister was NOT even studying or working when I has called my friend and the complain was that I talked too loud when she was working... I told my mom she wasn't even doinf that and my mom knew she had nothing to say to that and proceeded to say that she didn't wanna hear from me again.

Dana J lonely and untrusting of the world
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my kids go to school, my husband to work and I just sit there staring at my phone, not interacting with anyone all day. I just do some chores and then sit on my own. My casual job didn't work out. I'm trying to find purpose and goals but I'm genuinel... View more

my kids go to school, my husband to work and I just sit there staring at my phone, not interacting with anyone all day. I just do some chores and then sit on my own. My casual job didn't work out. I'm trying to find purpose and goals but I'm genuinely fearful of getting out into the world because I fear rejection. For a year now I've genuinely tried to find joy and connect with people but it never seems to work. I even went rollerblading the other day, a hobby I used to take joy in, only for two men on bikes to stop me while one told me that the path was only for bike riders (not true I checked with the council after). It just made me want to go back and hide. I'm trying though, I'm really trying and I know I have so much to be grateful for but I just can't get past the idea that I'm a piece of sh*t and nobody likes me so I stay in my house. I try to hide it when the kids come home but I'm struggling to keep it contained. Last night at the dinner table my 10 year old kept asking me what was wrong and trying to cheer me up although I said I was ok and smiled at him. Later I told him that he was not responsible for my emotions and that it was just how my brain works sometimes. My husband is supportive but he doesn't know how to help other than telling me to exercise. I have no family to connect with - there's only my mentally ill mother who has put me through hell the last four years. I keep trying to find ways out of this but I can't commit to anything and I'm starting to dread any social situations. I've cut back on my friendships. I was seeing a therapist for a few years but then she told me that my brain was set on a negative path and recommended I pursue neurofeedback therapy instead. I spoke to my GP and she said I would need to talk to a psychiatrist if I wanted to get the medicare rebate for it. I do not want to talk about my childhood crap to yet another professional and I don't think it would work anyway. I'm so lonely and it's my fault. Believe me when I say that if you have any suggestions on how I can fix this I'm all ears because this just isn't how I want to live anymore.

Scared Motive check
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Im not doing well.My meds are not working and Im at times worried i am going out of my mind. I pathetically check beyond blue forums all day waiting for a notification. Anything to stop the madness in my head.I was replying to a serious post and then... View more

Im not doing well.My meds are not working and Im at times worried i am going out of my mind. I pathetically check beyond blue forums all day waiting for a notification. Anything to stop the madness in my head.I was replying to a serious post and then deleted it because I felt Im using their pain as a way to stop my own. I suddenly felt dirty when I thought of the Authors post and the seriousness of what they are going thru. I realised I had nothing new to add to help this particular person so I deleted and made a new post.Posts on here are not written for my distraction but for serious input to which I had none. Thats how I feel. I dont know how to get betterIm glad there is some decency left in me because there isnt much else.