Depression

[shayLee_]

Now, you may wonder what is it like with depression? Well, it's horrible. You always doubt that you will never be great enough that every single little thing you do is not good enough, you will start hating yourself, day by day will go bye and every single hour, minute and second you start thinking about yourself, about your life and how you hate it, how you just want all this suffering to finally stop. May the truth be told, it never stops. I actually don't know if i do have depression but you basically can say i do because every single day i sit in a corner, quiet not making a sound. I  people ask if i'm ok of course ill say no. Now if your suffering from depression come to me because i have dealt with friends wanting to commit suicide, i have thought about it as well and i still do but that's not the point. the point is that if you need help come to me ill help you.

[therising]

Hi shayLee_

You're such a caring thoughtful person, offering your sense of understanding when it comes to the challenges that can be faced throughout what feels so deeply depressing. As I said to someone just the other day...We can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely, based on no one in that room being able to relate to how we feel or them not being able to relate to our perception. For you to reach out to people here in the way of understanding and support is such a loving gesture.

Not sure whether you find it the same but I think at times how much easier it is to get along with or relate to sensitive people (people who can sense), as opposed to insensitive people. It's like you can say to a real feeler 'Can you sense/get a feel for how depressing this situation is?' and they'll say 'Yeah, it's horrible. I can feel it'. On the other hand, you could ask this question of an insensitive person and they'll say stuff like 'It's all in your head' or 'You need to toughen up and stop being so sensitive' or they'll say something else just as triggering. The list of triggering comments can be a long one.

One of the major challenges when it comes to being able to feel would have to involve feeling which part of you is in play, when it comes to the inner dialogue. While it's great to be able to feel the kinda dialogue and positivity that comes with channeling the adventurer in us or the high energy excitement seeker, whole different story when we're channeling the inner critic or inner pessimist that can shift our sense of consciousness towards all that's wrong or all that could go wrong. It's kinda like 'Get the hell out of my head' becomes the mantra when such aspects are in play. Definitely feels like hell on Earth at times.

My heart goes out to you as you struggle with such incredible challenges, including the challenge of being able to feel easily and deeply. Would you say you've always had the ability to feel life in such ways? I know, feels more like a curse than an ability at times, that's for sure.