Time on medication

[JEF15]

Hello 

Long story short...I was on medication for 15 years. At beginning of 2022 I started weaning off. Everything went well and I did well. In Dec 22/Jan 23 I had a relapse as I went through some very stressful stuff and I was urged by my family and doctors to reinstate. I did, as I also felt I needed some extra help. The intention was to just do it while I got back on track. I have been on medication since Jan this year and have seen a therapist all year. 

I would like to try and come of the medication again now. I've learned lots this year and I'd like to try again.

Not sure my GP or family will be on board.

My question is, how long do people usually stay on medication? I've read to do its job it needs at least 6 months. Which I've done that now. I know lots of people who never stay on meds for long periods, so why should I. 

Thanks for you help

[therising]

Hi JEF15

It sounds like you've come a long way. Understandable that you'd want to trial no meds, so as to see just how far you've come (whether you'd be able to manage better than ever before). I think, for some people meds are more a long term thing based on the need for that added chemistry long term. Whether the need is born out of complex challenges that may need months or years to work through, the body's inability to produce certain chemistry on its own or something else, it's about needs being met. The question remains, 'Do you need the meds long term?'. This is something worth discussing with your mental health team.

Being a 53yo gal who's managed ins and outs of depression since my late teens, I'd have to say life can definitely be a lot more challenging without chemical assistance. While I trialed meds during long term depression throughout my 20s and early 30s, since then I've been lucky enough to experience periodic depression. I say 'lucky' based on my ability to gain clarity in between depressing episodes. A lot of my self understanding and self development happens in between depressing episodes.

When it comes to self understanding, I'd have to say my greatest revelation to date is...I'm a feeler. Unless something happens to change that, I will always be 'a feeler' or 'a sensitive' (being sensitive to what I feel). 'HSP' (highly sensitive person) is another term. So, I know that in the future there will be deeply depressing or highly stressful challenges that I will feel on a variety of levels and I need to be prepared for that. For example, with both my parents being in their 80s and not being in the best of health, I will feel the impact of them passing in the future. Also, I know I have a tipping point when it comes to stress (something I learned last year) and I imagine I may feel that tipping point or breaking point again somewhere in the future if I don't manage the lead up to it. I've found while a lot comes down to greater self understanding, a great deal also comes down to skill development. Developing the skills needed in order to manage feeling is an absolute must.

With you having gained greater self understanding and skills, I suppose there's only one way to find out if you can manage through those new found things without the meds. Something else I've come to find is just like with any form of learning and graduation, theory and practice can play a major part. Kind of like 'In theory, if I manage my breathing through breathing technique A, I should be able to calm my nervous system down. In practice (practicing that technique), is that theory correct?'. In some cases yes and in some it's back to the drawing board when it comes to ways to manage extreme stress, perhaps with a different breathing technique along with other skills at the same time. Some challenges are single ingredient challenges, whereas others can require a whole stack of combined ingredients (skills) in order to find the perfect recipe for success.

[JEF15]

Hi

Thank you so much for your detailed response. I really resonated with this. I am a feeler to I guess, and I think last year when I decided to try being med free, I did it without the assistance of a psychologist. That was probably a mistake. This year I worked a lot with a therapist to develop skills and I just feel better prepared to come off the medication. I know my triggers better and I can also see signs of my anxiety better. I want to try again because I feel better equipped this time. I want to find success like others, but on my own, not with chemical assistance. I want to at least try 

[therising]

JEF15

I think while our parents can teach us the basics in life, I've come to realise the amount of stuff I was never taught when it comes to life skills. Of course, they can't teach us everything, especially the skills they were never taught: Things like how to manage your nervous system, how to manage inner dialogue, how to develop self trust, how to truly love yourself in really constructive ways and the list goes on. Guidance continues to be key throughout the whole of our life, unlocking skills, potential, possibilities, self understanding and more. Whether we find a really good guide in a psychologist, in a particular family member or friend, some brilliant person on YouTube (who becomes one of our 'go to' people for learning specific things) or we find them somewhere else, sometimes it's about having a trusted circle or collection of guides, especially when things become incredibly tough.

The feeling aspect of life is an interesting one and definitely testing. It's like someone could say to me 'How are you feeling today?' and I can give the standard answer like 'Yeah, good' or 'Okay' but sometimes I'd love to say 'Today I'm feeling through my nervous system, through my chemistry, through my thoughts and inner dialogue. I'm feeling through my imagination, through my self doubt' and so on. That is how I'm feeling. That is how sensitive people or feelers feel, through things. Definitely skills required in being able to feel in such ways. If I pluck 'imagination' out of that list, to offer an example, how to shift hopeless, depressing or stressful imagery is a skill. The imagination's a powerful and mind altering thing. It's even powerful enough to alter our chemistry (such as found with the placebo effect). How to develop or manage something so powerful when all we can see, regarding the way forward, is nothing or a blank screen is a skill. Sometimes it can be so hard to see in the dark (depressing parts of our life path). I find some of the best guides in my life to be seers, the kind of people who will see the best direction for me at times, while lighting the way ahead when it comes to greater clarity. People who have the ability to see the best way forward for us through their imagination are a must at times.