Hi Kegsy76,
I just wanted to send you support. I have been much the same in the last few days, cannot stop crying, feeling frozen and unable to move or do anything etc. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I called the Suicide Call Back Service today and the person I spoke with was very helpful. He was validating and helped me to feel more resourced within myself that I can cope. I just thought I would mention that as like you I had no one I felt I could turn to. You could also try Lifeline or Beyond Blue helpline. If the first counsellor you speak to doesn’t feel like the right fit you can always try again.
It would be so challenging for you to parent right now with your daughter. That’s something a helpline counsellor might have some ideas on. The guy I spoke to today helped me get in touch with my inner parent to nurture and take care of my inner child, and also helped me realise ways in which I’m already doing that that I easily forget or lose sight of when in distress. Something like that might help you be there for both yourself and your daughter. Often calling a helpline can be a first step. Then maybe approaching your GP with how you are feeling and getting a mental health care plan.
Do you have anyone you can call for a chat - a friend, relative, neighbour etc? Even if you don’t feel able to divulge the extent of how you’re struggling, even a friendly chat about less serious topics can sometimes help to emotionally regulate. That’s what happened for me when I had a cup of tea with a neighbour a few days ago. I find being in nature helps me too. Is there something that feels grounding for you?
Take care xx
