Anyone else out there feel the same?

[D_augustine]

I love my kids and I love my husband but just lately I feel like is this it? Like everyday is the same, I just wanted more out of life and I’m scared this is it. I know is sounds awful and I’ve been felt this before and I try to shrug it off but it always comes back. I’ve never really been single or just been me. I pretty much went from one relationship to another. I’ve always been someone’s somebody and now I feel so much responsibility for everyone else. I can’t make a move or do anything without the thought of my husband or kids. I wish I had more time to be selfish before when I was not responsible for anyone. Now I feel stuck, as if all my role is to be a good house wife work and be a good mother. I honestly don’t think I even know who I am anymore. How am I supposed to teach my kids to be happy in their own skin when I’m miserable in mine?

[Dutchie74]

Dear D.augustine,

Everyone goes through phases where we ask ourselves if this is it...Don’t feel guilty about that.

You may have lost yourself in the relationships you have been in. Make the time now to rediscover yourself. Do things that make you happy. Self-care is not selfish!

Hope you feel better tomorrow

Warm regards,

Dutchie74

[Croix]

Dear D.augustine~

Welcome here to the Forum. I think Dutchie74 is right.

The days when a person was expected to be a housewife are gone. Now it is a partnership and that means balance.

If you look at your daily routine do you see a balance? I've no idea of your circumstances of course but one partner going to work does not relieve them of the obligation of contributing at home too.

I say this because it sounds like you need time, time for you - do you agree? The fact you entered partnerships early does not stop you doing things right now, study, reading, an interest, whatever you think will give you occupation and accomplishment. An interest outside the home is necessary, for some work does that, for others they have to find it.

Do you think this is on the right track?

Croix

[geoff]

Hello D.augustine, I'm sorry your life seems to be restricted and that you don't have any time to yourself.

Now you have to try and get your kids to spend a night at their grandparent's place for the weekend or a couple of nights, even one night per week, to begin with, then you can plan to do something you want on your own if you like or with a girlfriend and tell your husband all he has to do is heat up his meal in the microwave.

Time alone is vital for your own health and especially contentment in life.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

[D_augustine]

Dear Ditchie74

Thank you for your kind thoughts. It’s lovley to knows that I’m not the only person that goes through this phase. Unfortunately with the lack of sleep and the racing thoughts that has been going through my head I am feeling much the same today. I feel very flat, all I want to do is be complety alone, which is very hard to do with a newborn who will not take a bottle.
Warm regards,
D.augustine

[D_augustine]

Dear Croix,

Thankyou, I have not ever used a forum before but it’s nice to speak freally without any judgement. You are very right, I think that’s part of the problem is that in my household there is no balance. I try to create balance and I take on a lot of the roles in the household but sometimes I see no point as it never stays like that or I feel as though I’m the only one wanting to play the game. I find it a struggle to be a parent of two and I’m also a mother to my partner. I am studying also, honestly that’s probably the only thing I have to myself that’s mine.

Kind regards D.augustine

[D_augustine]

Hello Geoff,

I think it’s really hard for me because I had suffered really bad depression from 15 until my early 20’s and honestly I barely made it out in one peace. It’s exhausting to think my depression in back now with two children and husband. It’s very draining on the mind. I have a newborn who doesn’t take a bottle which make it hard for some me time as well as my mother unfortunately doesn’t believe mental illness is a real fact which makes it even more difficult for her to empathise to give me. thank you for your response.

Kind regards D.augustine

[Dutchie74]

Dear D.augustine,

Thanks for your reply.

I am sorry to hear that you are still feeling down. Lack of sleep certainly does not help. Are you able to express breastmilk so someone else can feed the baby and you can rest?

One of my kids refused the bottle but with persistence and trying different formulas/teats she eventually took to it and I was happier as it allowed me some time to myself.

Reach out to people for help, to talk, for support and comfort. You don’t have to do this on your own.

Take care.