A month alone

[DWR]

I have had depression as long as I can remember. Its gotten fairly bad the last few months. I am on medication but haven't worked up the courage to see a therapist (I have many times in the past but I never connect with them)

My boyfriend who I live with has just gone to America for the month of April. It has been one weekend and I feel desperately alone. 

My co-workers tell me Ill be fine if I have my friends over all the time. Truth is I have no friends, my boyfriend is my only friend and he is gone.

To sound like a crazy cat lady, we got 2 kittens before he left as company for me. I don't know what I would do if they weren't here and it was just me..

[petite3]

DWR,

I am hearing ya. My husband goes away for march and April for shooting season. Mostly I don't feel I have his support with depression, but when he's away I feel so lonely and scared, almost into a panic. I will get all worked up, cry, hysterical, crazy thoughts I can never share, but when I speak to him, it all becomes calm n peaceful, just me n my snotty nose. I don't tell him what's happening BC he'd worry, get angry, or cone home, sometimes I also enjoy being on my own to let it all out. I spend so much time holding it all in, pretending, yes yes, oh hi, hello, yes I'm well, and you oh good blah blah. Then when I'm by myself and safe to let lose I do, cry, yell, blow my nose, then slowly pull it all together, regroup and make a plan to move forward and try to avoid that again. Sometimes it helps sometimes I sleep it off BC its exhausting. I really hope you can find your way of embracing the valuable time to yourself and come to use it as a therapy sort of. Stay close n keep talking.

P3

[Neil_1]

Hi there dwr

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for coming here and posting.

It’s very pleasing to hear that you’ve got a couple of little ‘play-mates’ that will no doubt require a lot of your time and attention – they’ll be awesome for you and during this time, you’re all going to forge a wonderful bond together.  I find animals so helpful to helping me deal with my issues – they have their own personalities and from that can take you to a completely different place, by talking with them and interacting with them.  Hells bells, I’ve now got my Mum’s dog, who is 15 years old and is just the most amazing little puppy – deaf as a post and yet we all still talk to her!   Humans are crazy.

That’s also very good to hear that you’re working – so as much as you can, if you can absorb yourself into your work, that can also become a very good distraction for you.

Why not try to check out on the web for movies – do a search for movies that you enjoy – make a list and then head to your video store and hire a couple or a few;  especially with the long weekend coming up.  Or if you’re a reader, go and find a really good new release and get into that.

There’s a couple of suggestions, which I hope help a bit.   The other thing to note is that April only has 30 days, so it’s not the longest month.  🙂   🙂   Just searching for other positives.  🙂

Kind regards

Neil

[DWR]

Petite3

I feel exactly the same. My boyfriend doesn't like me to talk about it, and he's the only one that know the full extent of my depression. Do you have anything that can get you out of this bottomless feeling? 

Its only day 4 and I'm really feeling it today.

[DWR]

Neil1

Yes I'm very glad we got them, its a good distraction. But I must admit, the times I'm really feeling low and exhausted its hard enough to find the energy and motivation to clean, shower or even get up, let alone take care of them (but I do it of course)

Haha poor dear, must be a bit of a learning experience for both of you.

In regards to work, I'm finding it very difficult at the moment. I'm getting frustrated very easily and lack motivation. Yet if I didn't go to work, I know I would fall deeper.

I do binge watch TV shows, so all set thanks.

Haha yes that is a positive, Il take any atm!

[Neil_1]

Hi dwr

A mate used to break things down like to say:   “Hey, it’s not that far off, you know between eating, and some sleep, some coffee breaks, doing a bit of exercise, and a couple of more coffee breaks, the time will fly by”.

So I write this on the 2nd day of April, so yes, the days do continue to roll on.  Easter is almost upon us, so not sure what you’re up too, but I hope that you are able to enjoy a really nice break.  And be careful of the chocolate egg monster – he can be very addictive !

Neil

[Cymru]

I'm sure 5 is the minimum to be classified as a crazy cat lady. Anyway, I can offer that consellors are like soap powder, so you ought to ask folk for recommendations. I can suggest a couple; depending where you live. But your GP is the best source for a referral. Second, if my partner(s) were my key support over the years, I would have ruined the relationship sooner than I tend to. I have made a specific quest to keep a broader base of friends (my relative aren't a lot of help). So I'd suggest you seek help from a counsellor in how the broaden your support base.This isn't easy, but a key part in maintaining our resilience. That and patting a cat. 

[White_Rose]

Hello DWR

I've had cats and dogs all my life.  It's only now I am without one or other. Not even sure why.

With regard to your loneliness, have you thought of joining a support group? GROW is a good example of this. Put GROW into your search engine and see what comes up. They have branches all over the country so there may be a group which meets near you.

As I understand it they meet for general chats about their various problems, but also people talk over coffee and biscuit after the meetings.  These meetings are a bit like BB in that there is no professional group leader, just people with their own experiences. They also organise trips and have craft groups and similar.  You would get some support, take a load off your BF and maybe make a few friends.  Who knows what may happen!

Regards

Mary