Hi J,
Welcome!
Not long ago, maybe 4 years ago I got diagnosed with depression/anxiety. I had been suffering it since I was very little and I also found myself in a bad r'ship - which served as the catalyst to me beginning the process of healing.
That brain fog, alienation, disconnect, lack of motivation, fatigue and especially wanting no physical contact with people yet feeling isolated really resonates with me. I have been there, and I know you are going to find a way out!
I believe these things don't happen out of a vacuum and it is very important to seek external help to assist you process and understand. It will feel useless, slow, sometimes you wonder even why you bother, but these things take so much time. Don't give up on the process, find help that suits your needs and most importantly, be patient on yourself.
Aside from therapy - which to admit, I changed 5 therapists and only went sporadically because I was a bit up and down - what really started to change me was finding something that worked for me. It was meditation, and it helped me to realise I was in control of my body and mind, and that my thoughts had a direct impact on my feelings and therefore my life ... I am still working on it, and believe it'll be a lifelong pursuit, but I found self awareness the key to getting myself better.
I'm not saying meditation may be right for you, but if you can find activities and places you can go, that are safe and take you away from the usual 'hole' you feel yourself in, it will help. Slowly, and one step at a time.
Good luck.
Substituder.
