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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 8

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Dagebow Lost
  • replies: 2

Hi all. New to the forum but not the world of the black dog unfortunately. 2005 was when I first sought help after a difficult break up and after seeing a counsellor, we managed to work out that I had been suffering a mild form of depression since my... View more

Hi all. New to the forum but not the world of the black dog unfortunately. 2005 was when I first sought help after a difficult break up and after seeing a counsellor, we managed to work out that I had been suffering a mild form of depression since my teens. The sessions helped, I came off the anti-depressant and armed with some new knowledge resumed life. The black dog returned around 2009 - poor sleep, emotions running hot and cold, low self esteem - the normal drill I guess. Sought help, saw a psychologist who didn't really help but I got back on my feet and with the odd period using st. john wort I managed ok. Lately, due to a rough patch with a good friend, stress at work and life in general the black dog has returned. The up and down emotions, the self doubt, the lack of confidence and diving deeper into work to keep my mind off things. My mum has a form of depression, maybe its in my DNA? I have few friends, none that I can really open up to - I live alone, work is my social outlet as well as some volunteer work but I do feel alone and lost in this world. I am sure many do, many others are in so much more pain than me - it doesn't make it any easier knowing that however. I hope everyone here finds the support they need.

Easy_D Start of my journey for help
  • replies: 5

So I'm writing this to give myself something to do. I know I should change what I'm doing - get out of the house, go to the gym, do something! But if I wasn't writing this email I would be sitting on the couch thinking. This has become a dangerous pa... View more

So I'm writing this to give myself something to do. I know I should change what I'm doing - get out of the house, go to the gym, do something! But if I wasn't writing this email I would be sitting on the couch thinking. This has become a dangerous past time of mine. Now that I am unable to even think about doing any of my uni work I have time on my hands. This time that I have is very unproductive. I can't think about all the things I should be doing and how I just can't do them. This is excellent fuel for my depression. It gives me all this evidence as to why I am so useless and bad at life and lazy and not worth the air I breathe. Because, at the end of the day, I don't want to be here. It's not like there is a place that I do want to be either. I don't want to be anywhere. I don't want to exist. So why haven't I killed myself? It's something I have put off a few times. The first time that I realised that I didn't particularly want to be here was a very strange experience. I didn't consider myself suicidal. I didn't really consider myself to be anything. I just wished I wasn't me and I considered ways to end it - but I never did. I guess things never got that bad. That was when I was 19. Last time I was depressed I decided to make a change and go back to uni. I told myself that if I still wasn't happy after that then I could go for it and finally end it. In between these times I have been depressed on and off. It has been going on for 10 years. Now it's back. Again. And it's worse. Then something really annoying happened. Someone in my extended family committed suicide. This was also very sad, don't get me wrong, but the strongest emotion I have felt about this was annoyance. Why? Because now I know first hand what it's like to watch family and friends after a loved one has committed suicide. It is the hardest thing to understand for them. If it was cancer or an accident or something else a person's brain can justify and understand. But when it's suicide it's like this person has basically decided that their friends and family aren't worth sticking around for. Or at least that is what it feels like to be friends and family. I know this is not the case. If I was to kill myself it would be for a plethora of other reasons but I have stuck around so long because of my friends and family. Certainly not because I enjoy life. Now, the annoying thing for me is that suicide isn't even an option any more. Not after seeing how horrific it is to those left behind. So this escape plan that was there if things got really really bad has been removed. And I have to find a way to keep on going. I started throwing myself into things that I enjoyed. Exercise, spending money, chocolate. I soon noticed that I wasn't really enjoying these things I was just taking a time out in between feeling miserable. I found myself craving to be around people so I wouldn't feel so alone. But more and more it seems that whenever I'm around people I am just disappointed that I am unable to connect or even interact like a normal human. And I feel like they should be able to see how messed up I am. That they should ask me if I'm OK. But they don't. I feel like I have to fake it because surely I am already dead inside. I feel like I'm probably pretty great at faking it, too. I have realised that I can't keep going like this and I am ill equipped to even help myself any more. And I'm not even able to consider suicide anymore. Geez! Something has to change - so I asked for help. Open the friggin floodgates. It turns out I had been doing a splendid job of ignoring exactly how bad I had been feeling. Now that I'm in the process of getting help I have been unable to ignore these feelings anymore. All of the things I have been trying so desperately not to feel are roaring around my head. It's funny how it hits me. Every so often I am overcome by a wave of sadness and hopelessness. It is horrible and distracting. It makes it impossible to complete even the simplest of tasks. This wave is accompanied always by the thought that I wish I wasn't here. But here I am. And I sure hope this is rock bottom. PS. I have seen the GP, been prescribed anti-depressants and I see a psychologist in three days. I don't need people to tell me to live and blah blah blah. I'm putting this up here because if others who feel just the same as I do read this they will know they are not alone and maybe gain the courage to find help too.

thadeedz Feeling really scared
  • replies: 2

Hello I am new to all this online forums and stuff, but Im just putting this out there, I didnt think I was depressed, but now Im feeling like it cant be anything else. I am always so angry when I do the slightest thing wrong, such as spill something... View more

Hello I am new to all this online forums and stuff, but Im just putting this out there, I didnt think I was depressed, but now Im feeling like it cant be anything else. I am always so angry when I do the slightest thing wrong, such as spill something, and over the weekend, everytime I did something like that I got so angry started yelling then just broke down in tears. I also suffer bouts of what I can admit is anorexia, I am currently 54 kgs but whenever I look in the mirror, I just see a fat woman staring back, I try not to talk about my weight with my family, they get upset when I call myself fat, its not that I think Im fat so much, I just feel fat, whether I have a medical condition that makes me feel bloated and weighed down or what I dont know. I always feel tired and unmotivated to do anything, and can have trouble sleeping too. I also have a very low sex drive which is really taking its toll on my relationship, my partner thinks that I dont have any feelings for him anymore, which isnt true, I just feel like I hate myself and my body Are all these symptoms related to depression or could it be other underlying medical conditions and if so what is the best way to help me recover, Im a little scared to go to a doctor and get medication I dont like to take too many drugs Thank you for any help

ccdep71 dr jekyl and mr hyde
  • replies: 2

I have been suffering depression and anxiety for 2 years now, on meds not really sure if they working. I was in an extremely dark place but now there seems to be a shift. My emotional moods seem to reflect those of dr jekyl and mr hyde. I am ok somet... View more

I have been suffering depression and anxiety for 2 years now, on meds not really sure if they working. I was in an extremely dark place but now there seems to be a shift. My emotional moods seem to reflect those of dr jekyl and mr hyde. I am ok sometimes...can talk to people smile occassionally laugh, then to the next extreme, angry at everyone who was nice to me. If someone compliments me I still know it isn't true and cannot accept it. I break down in tears cant control my emotions at all and now use self harm to try and ease this pain.This may go on for 2-3 days and then i feel the regret, remorse, guilt for treating people so badly. It is such a vicious cycle right now that it is really doing me in. I don't understand what is happening to me at all. Just needed to express myself as tonight is a low night. Thanks

colleen_neal My Depression
  • replies: 5

When i was first told that i have got depression i didnt want to tell anyone about it as i felt that i was useless and weak, i just wanted to go under a rock and die. My life should be great i got married late last year he is my rock which i love ver... View more

When i was first told that i have got depression i didnt want to tell anyone about it as i felt that i was useless and weak, i just wanted to go under a rock and die. My life should be great i got married late last year he is my rock which i love very much i would not give him up for the world. I have got so may good things in my life why am i so sad? why am i so depress ? but i do know this im not going to let it win i have just started to opening up and told some of my close friends they then told me that they have had depression and they are with me all the way. At the moment im looking after number one im trying to do things that i once loved play hockey, out in my garden see my friends etc, Who ever reads this you are not the only one with depression i have it as well, we can help each other xxx

Lostheart So Very Sad, is there really hope?
  • replies: 14

HI I am new to the site, I am 39 yr Female, who has had depression for 14 years (treated any way).. I read so many stories on this site and they could describe my life perfectly.. The one thing that gets me the most, is people, docter's, psychologist... View more

HI I am new to the site, I am 39 yr Female, who has had depression for 14 years (treated any way).. I read so many stories on this site and they could describe my life perfectly.. The one thing that gets me the most, is people, docter's, psychologists, mental health workers, they say hold on to the good thoughts/times to help you get through... I have got to a point in my life that I feel I have nothing to look forward to.. I feel like people who I see for help listen, but dot "Hear" me.. They say medication and life style changes can help, but no of this takes away the looming sadness that is constantly being pushed down inside, only to arise again later. I dont feel if I died tomorrow the world would even notice I was missing.. I as sooo sick of taking pills all the time, although the doctors assure me its the only way.. I have tried suicide several times in the last 4 years along with 2 stays as a involentary patient in a mental health facility.. Knowing other people are suffering the same way dosn't help make me feel better, but I question every day, is this is my life, and this is as good as it gets, I'm not really wanting to stick around any longer to go through the motions, knowing that there is no light at the end of the tunnel.. I have even got to the point I re-searched where I went wrong with previous attempts. and now have a better understanding of how and what drugs work best together to get a proper result.. I used to drink alcohol when I was really sad, but I now feel numb, I don't even want to drink, I just have a overwhelming sense of nothing, no connection, no feeling.. I tried a life line counciller, but although very compassionate, I realised kind word wont change things...I feel like my heart is just, empty, a void I cant fulfill...

jodes76 dark times
  • replies: 6

last few days I have been overcome by a dark mood which has dragged me down, I really don't know what to do, nothing seems to help lift it

last few days I have been overcome by a dark mood which has dragged me down, I really don't know what to do, nothing seems to help lift it

Whydidudoit Feeling lost b
  • replies: 1

Anyone else just feel lost?cause that's how I feel about now ,I have a close friend I can talk to about anything and my younger sister and brother will listen to me.but the rest of my family I just feel stupid telling them how I feel!today I have my ... View more

Anyone else just feel lost?cause that's how I feel about now ,I have a close friend I can talk to about anything and my younger sister and brother will listen to me.but the rest of my family I just feel stupid telling them how I feel!today I have my worthless feeling day like I can do no good. and yes I had a couple of drinks just so I can express myself or else I couldn't i went to the doctor when I first started feeling anxiety on that day I quit my job instead of driving to work I drove to the doctors I just wanted someone to help me he only told me that I should get out more do extra cirruculm activities which I did do I played soccer but that still didn't help I felt there was no where I could turn..until my mum spoke to her doctor about me and he told her to bring me in that's when I felt finally someone would listen to me! He prescribed me medication for my anxiety !i never knew I had anxiety until that day I always thought it was just a feeling of something bad going to happen...which he then told me tats wat anxiety was I felt relieved ..I still feel the anxiety but in a different way I guess I got use to feeling anxiety but now it feels much different more silent but longer... i recently also saw a counseller who has prescribed me something to help me sleep.. but I still have the feeling of worthlessness I fell not good enough and tat everyone still has high expecting of me! i don't wanna fell that anymore ,I like everyone else wanna feel normal but I forgot what normal is... pom sick of everyone putting hopes on me I just feel so confused and lost ... lik they want me to get a job but its hard cause my anxiety comes in I feel lost for words and I keep hearing voices ! i was working as a waitress trying to get back into the work force but I kept hearing someone say my name...I kept looking all around but I couldn't tell if it was a man or woman..it was so strange and when I went to take someone's order my thoughts of what to say went really fast and I could hear my self talk ing the wrong words but just couldn't stop ...I couldn't go back now my family tells me off for hot trying ...but how can I tell them the truth without seeming so crazy I don't know what to do ..how can people understand when they haven't even been through this?

Waiting_Wondering Good days and bad days..
  • replies: 2

Hello, This is the first time I've confronted my thoughts publicly. I don't know where to start or if anyone will read this but I felt like I needed to just get it off my chest and maybe see if I'm not the only one out there like this. And maybe get ... View more

Hello, This is the first time I've confronted my thoughts publicly. I don't know where to start or if anyone will read this but I felt like I needed to just get it off my chest and maybe see if I'm not the only one out there like this. And maybe get some advice.. I've recently started university. I'm finding it overwhelming and stressful. I have just lost all motivation for uni and life in general. Every morning I dread getting out of bed because it means I have to deal with things. I'm not suicidal but I'm feeling really horrible. My mum has noticed me getting down and has told me to 'snap out of it'. She means well, but it's not that easy for me. I've noticed that I've lost all self confidence and feel completely worthless. I've also found that when I'm alone at home or in any situation, I feel a little anxious. Like I'm invisible and no one cares. One time I even broke down with the thought. For the past year, I've been grieving the deaths of my grandparents. It's odd because they all passed away many years ago, but it's been the past year or so that I've longed for a relationship with them. I've even started to feel guilty that I never built a relationship with them. I'm just scared that these feelings won't go away and I'm scared that I'll never find the courage to talk to someone.

ellie123 I want to get rid of this feeling
  • replies: 1

Hi I havent ever talked to anyone about this but i thought i would try venting through beyond blue. I think I have been depressed for a few years now, this past year has been though has been alot harder though. I am now 2 years out of highschool and ... View more

Hi I havent ever talked to anyone about this but i thought i would try venting through beyond blue. I think I have been depressed for a few years now, this past year has been though has been alot harder though. I am now 2 years out of highschool and i think that not being at school daily with my friends makes it harder to avoid what im feeling. about half way through highschool i began to start feeling upset a lot, there was nothing really that was overly bad about my life at all. I have great parents, they are fairly strict and have high expectations for me, but i know they just want me to do well in life. I did well in my classes, recieving A's and B's, I was in lots of sporting teams and had a really large group of friends. So i felt, and still do, that i had no reason to feel like this and i just pretended i was happy. I am the 'funny one' i guess in my group so if i didnt pretend people would know and i didnt want anyone to know because i thought it was stupid for me to feel like that. That continued for a couple of years. I dated one of my best friends during year 12, he was a amazing person but it didnt work out after 1 month and since then i still havent gotten over him which i know is stupid after over 2 years, i think the main reason i havent gotten over him is because in that short time we dated i started feeling happy again. Since leaving school, I went straight into uni doing a double degree. I failed one of my classes in first semester which was a massive thing for me as i haven never failed anything before. The class wasnt overly hard but i found i had no motivation for doing my classes and would miss lectures all the time. In second semester i failed 2 classes as well. i havent told my mum because i know she will be super dissapointed and angry. At the moment i have 4 jobs, working 40 hours a week and i go to uni for 20 hours a week. I had a cousin pass away 2 years ago from suicide due to severe depression and my nanna passed away a few months ago. I have put on 15kg in the past 6 months. Im finding it really hard to pretend im happy anymore. As soon as im alone i will cry and i cry myself to sleep most nights. I think im mostly upset because of stress but also i have pretty much always been single and no guy has ever loved me which is a thought i hate. The main reason i am writing this is to vent but also i want to get rid of this feeling. Most of my friends come to me for adivce alot and i also teach primary school children guitar so i want to become a better person and i dont want to be lying to people all the time because i cant be myself. I know most people will tell me to go to a doctor etc, but im too embarrassed to do that and also my mum will find out and i dont want her to know this is how i feel because i dont want to see it wreck my family like what happened with my cousin.