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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Annonymouse Am I in depression denial or is this just a state of mind?
  • replies: 6

For the last few years I have suspected that I have been suffering from depression. I feel like there is no purpose in life, I am constantly tired and lethargic, I cant concentrate on anything or make decisions. I feel kind of empty all the time, lik... View more

For the last few years I have suspected that I have been suffering from depression. I feel like there is no purpose in life, I am constantly tired and lethargic, I cant concentrate on anything or make decisions. I feel kind of empty all the time, like even when I am doing fun and happy things I feel like I am only laughing and enjoying it as a front to fit into society. The only time I genuinely enjoy myself is when I am drunk.. Which I dont do often because I cant handle the hangover depression. If I had my way I would stay in bed forever. I have no motivation to do anything, ever. The funny thing is, I cant remember a time where I didnt feel like this, I just put it down to being introverted or I think maybe this is a personality trait of pessimism rather than depression? I mean, its not like I cant feel happy, sometimes I do.. Doesnt depression mean U have an imbalance and physically cant feel happy ever? although all these are classic symptoms of depression, I cant bring myself to seek help for them. How do I know if this is actually depression or whether I have just created this situation in my mind as a way to justify my negative mind? I dont trust talking to a GP, i went once and she read through the checklist of symptoms and said yep thats it.. But how do I kmow if my symptoms are real or if I have just fooled the doctor by what I think is the disgnosis?

BUB001 Frustrated that I let this illness take hold again
  • replies: 5

Hi,I am new here, not quite sure what happens with these forums or how much you are meant to talk about etc.Last week I was diagnosed again with extreme sever depression with suicidal tendencies. I have been in and out of depression since I was 14, I... View more

Hi,I am new here, not quite sure what happens with these forums or how much you are meant to talk about etc.Last week I was diagnosed again with extreme sever depression with suicidal tendencies. I have been in and out of depression since I was 14, I am 31 now, this time is worse than all the other times. I am so annoyed at myself that I allowed it to happen again.I try so hard to see the positive in things, but everything is a struggle, from getting out of bed, to brushing my teeth etc. I am back on medication and seeing a psychologist and have a great support network yet I still feel alone in this battle. But this time I feel as though I can't fight it.The other times I wan't working so I could focus on getting better, this time I am working long hours, commuting etc and just can't stand being at work, I just want to stay in bed all day.I hate feeling like this. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

tiredofit No light at end of tunnel
  • replies: 7

I've been depressed for over one month now. It's not the first time. I should be used to it. I've been on SSRIs on and off for over twenty years now. The mistake I made was thinking I could do without them - lulling myself into a false sense of secur... View more

I've been depressed for over one month now. It's not the first time. I should be used to it. I've been on SSRIs on and off for over twenty years now. The mistake I made was thinking I could do without them - lulling myself into a false sense of security as it were. I'd become interested in Buddhism and meditation as well as Stoicism. This had given me hope of a way out - ergo no need for medication. WRONG. I spent over five weeks carefully weaning myself of my medication. So far, so good. I lasted about another two weeks with nothing at all, full of a supreme sense of achievement. And then crash. I can only conclude that a depressed state is my default setting. Either that, or the SSRIs rob you of the ability to ever again manufacture the necessary chemicals naturally.This is day 17 back on the pills and still no effect, bringing back the old, familiar feeling of being stuck beyond the point of no return. Also familiar, is the feeling that the depressed thinking is right on the money, and the medicated thinking is a type of delusion. For example, I really am a total screw-up - have been all my life. I was a strange, sad kid. Because of my neurosis acting as some kind of a demon standing between me and other people, I've ended up totally alone, and that's not likely to change. The terrible lonliness I feel is completely real and not a symptom of depression, or rather, medication in someway alleviates lonliness as well as depression. I know I'm not going to change; I'm too old. I have nothing to look forward to except the devastation of old age.Tell me I'm deluded. Tell me self-loathing is just a symptom of depression. I don't think so. I really am pathetic. I try to dwell on the thought of all the people in far worse situations than myself. This just seems to make myself and my self pity even more contemptible. Yet still, I don't have the courage to end it. Why wouldn't someone be self-loathing?beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

cv85 Over eating
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I'm a newbie here, first time poster. Im a 29 year old female, kinda nervous to be here but here goes. I was just wondering if anyone else out there relates to over eating on a regular basis, due to depression, or even those who have low days... View more

Hi all, I'm a newbie here, first time poster. Im a 29 year old female, kinda nervous to be here but here goes. I was just wondering if anyone else out there relates to over eating on a regular basis, due to depression, or even those who have low days without having diagnosed depression.. . I don't want to get caught up with the label of 'eating disorder' and mental health illness, basically its eating to fill a void and eating to the point of feeling sick..... aka binge eating. This is my life, and once apon a time my eating was mostly in control, it has gotton worse the last few months, and I am feeling less and less in control So, if anyone feels like sharing their story, please do. I really just am trying to feel less alone at the moment and I am not trying to judge or compare......so, Id love to hear from you, and thanks everyone.

white knight Depression - has it taken you to the end?
  • replies: 0

Not a topic to beat around the bush. Yeh, suicidal thoughts or plans. How many of us sufferers of depression have been there?A statistic that blew me away was average suicides in Australia. About 2200-2500. Males are four times more likely to than fe... View more

Not a topic to beat around the bush. Yeh, suicidal thoughts or plans. How many of us sufferers of depression have been there?A statistic that blew me away was average suicides in Australia. About 2200-2500. Males are four times more likely to than females. Now a days thats more than the national road toll.What can we do to secure our own future so we dont go down that path because of the numbers that do go all the way many are suffering depression. Our demons take their toll on our well being, our daily life and we send our family and friends packing even though it isnt intended, we do it anyway. We have limited control and that brings me to a point, an important point for the depressed contemplating the end of your life. To think outside the square for a few minutes before you continue on. Disconnect with your contemplated journey for a few minutes to think of the following.1.Think of your loved ones, the sadness and grief they will experience. So sad2.Think about an immediate change of environment3.Seek help. You might be thinking you are tired of seeking help but do it! Again and again you might need help but thats the way it is.Many of us know the internal pain, the numbness, the worthlessness, the feeling of tears rolling but we dont know why. Like anything in life that is negative and uncontrollable there is only two ways to silence those demons One is the selfish way and I wont consider it a fair option for your loved ones. the other is to reverse it. How do we reverse suicidal thoughts?Change of environment? It can help. Walk away from that terrible direction. Walk anywhere. If you are that desperate then try anything life can offer so you survive. A day, a week, a month later having moved from your home, sort a job in the outback, had a holiday, toured around etc you would look back and realise that pathway was not a good plan. It was selfish and it was defeating. You'll feel proud you survived. An accomplishment. You beat it, you squashed those demons, not fully but you turned around from that path of destruction.There have been threads here on this forum that have touched me. The one that totally transformed my thinking was "think b4 you act" google it with the words "beyond blue my life has changed because of 1 decision horribly wrong". That poster helped me too even though my thoughts of suicide have diminishedIf you are heading towards that direction consider loved ones. Realise your feeling of despair are temporary. Do a "U" turn.Tony WK beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

chrisjacob What's up.
  • replies: 7

Soooo, I'm about to turn 29 and couldn't be more un happy. Typical story I have everything and more than I've ever wanted and worked for evey bit of it. I don't buy into the poor me thing and don't really care to be bothered with it. I feel that my l... View more

Soooo, I'm about to turn 29 and couldn't be more un happy. Typical story I have everything and more than I've ever wanted and worked for evey bit of it. I don't buy into the poor me thing and don't really care to be bothered with it. I feel that my life is a complete shade of black and everything around me is blacker. Nothing interests me and I don't really care because I just want to be left alone by everyone. I can't help but feel like a whiney silver spoon fed mummies boy because I feel that most people with these thoughts are. I have achieved everything in my life on my own without the help from anyone and like it that way. Now most professionals would say I'm lonely and un loved but wrong I have a loving wife, friends etc.lol. insecure? Lol. Love my life and everything I do and have. I'm not suicidal because I would rather live with this than take the easy way out. Summary - every second of every day of every hour it never ends and theres nothing we can do about it.

LaurenH Repressed thoughts/feelings?
  • replies: 7

Hi all, The issue I've been facing, is, I believe repressed emotions/thoughts. It has been building up since 2012 when I went off medication and had extreme anxiety (social)/depressive symptoms return. At that stage I didn't do any therapy, instead g... View more

Hi all, The issue I've been facing, is, I believe repressed emotions/thoughts. It has been building up since 2012 when I went off medication and had extreme anxiety (social)/depressive symptoms return. At that stage I didn't do any therapy, instead got on with working/socialising. I acted my way through social situations and got to a point where I was comfortable enough. In the past where I had used mindfulness, this time I got myself through and was coping okay. It wasn't until 2013 when I bgan experiencing anger (which I kept inside) toward my Mum. Thinking it would fix the problem, I moved out and lived in a sharehouse. I then began feeling annoyed at my co-worker and left that job. After a few more jobs I realised something wasn't right mentally. I didn't really realise at the time I was unhappy and having stronger symptoms of anxiety/depression. I left my then current job and in 2014 went down to Rockhampton to stay with my relatives, in hope I could move forward. I ended up in a mental health clinic for 5 months and tried on numerous medications. I was wanting to try mindfulness, because that is what worked in past, but something in my head is preventing it from working. I've come home and had many "breakdowns" because I have this feeling in my head. The closest I have read about is a guy who had lots of emotional stuff happen to him, and instead of feeling his emotions, his head took control and he was lead by his head/thoughts. It's almost like I have a numb feeling in my head and I can't just be in my body (feel). I've been operating like this for a few years now. I've been told I need to "love" myself and I've also been told I'm a "thinker". My current psychologist has tried to get me to be in the present, it doesn't feel possible. I'd really like to have that headspace I had when I first did mindfulness. I don't know whats happened in my brain. My life just feels bland and I don't experience any true joy or happiness. It doesn't quite feel like depression although I do feel down about the situation.. Can anyone else relate or understands emotional/thought repression. This is what feels has happened. Thankyou, Lauren

mattyj unstable...
  • replies: 10

hey so I don't know how this works but I just need to talk to someone...I'm feeling downright useless, I don't know why I wake up in the morning and have been thinking dark thoughts lately. I'm frustrated and angry with myself and my lack of motivati... View more

hey so I don't know how this works but I just need to talk to someone...I'm feeling downright useless, I don't know why I wake up in the morning and have been thinking dark thoughts lately. I'm frustrated and angry with myself and my lack of motivation or direction. I find myself bursting into tears at the slightest emotional prompt. I was seeing a psych for awhile but stopped going because he didn't even listen, just stared at me blankly and put me on more medication... I don't know who I am, who I want to be or what I want to do with my life. guess I'd like some reassurance that it's not all pointless beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

purpleenvelope A very negative post
  • replies: 16

I have been thinking this for a while. I know hopelessness and worthlessness are feelings a lot of people with depression have. But what if you really are actually failing at life not because of depression or bipolar but just because you're a loser? ... View more

I have been thinking this for a while. I know hopelessness and worthlessness are feelings a lot of people with depression have. But what if you really are actually failing at life not because of depression or bipolar but just because you're a loser? I am broke. I have 3 kids, some weeks I worry how I will do groceries. My husband works full time and I run my own business which is completely failing and I make hardly any money. Our bills and debt are piling up and it feels so irresponsible and insecure. It is constant stress. FAIL. I am so unhealthy. I have diabetes and I don't act like I do. I eat crap and don't exercise. I take my medication most of the time but I need to take more in the morning. I never do, just never remember. FAIL. I'm fat and unfit and have no motivation to do anything about it (no really, I'm fat. I am 100+kg). My marriage is ridiculous. I HATE intimacy of any form, my husband asks for sex nearly daily and it feels like he only asks me so I feel as bad as him when I reject him. I want to be left alone. I want him to leave me alone. I am pretty sure we are headed for separation but no one wants to be the one to decide. FAIL. I have no close friends. I have no one to confide in. FAIL. Two of my kids are in therapy. Fail... I have had multiple therapists and marriage therapists and the last one we saw pretty much kicked us out. I am currently not seeing a therapist, I feel completely unable to be helped at this stage. My self loathing is too deep, no one has ever been able to tap in deep enough nor earned my trust enough to even scrape the surface. I feel completely defective in so many areas. Unreachable. I function. I work. I cook. I parent. I get up in the morning, I barely get the kids to school on time but they get there. I am HAPPY and CHEERFUL and if you knew me you would think I was just fine with no problems at all. I am always thinking wow, this is really it. This is my life. The only person that can change it is me and I just can never seem to do so. Its all just too much.

redmonster Hitting really hard ground
  • replies: 1

Hi all. Like many others I've suffered depression for as long as I can recall. Back as far as 3 or 4 years old I realised after attending an in patient program for 3 weeks where I learnt about shame based development. First major anxiety attack at 17... View more

Hi all. Like many others I've suffered depression for as long as I can recall. Back as far as 3 or 4 years old I realised after attending an in patient program for 3 weeks where I learnt about shame based development. First major anxiety attack at 17 in 1987 frightened the life out of me and have continued intermittently over the years. To add to this I had a unfortunate sexual experience with a member of extended family around 6yrs old which has played which has played havoc with my sexuality since falling into a nervous breakdown due to some drastic activity by my wife around club funds in which our family were members of. Social fallout, major stressors on myself, immediate and surrounding family also the collapse of a major part of my business due to me being affected by rapidly worsening depression and a huge tax dept via my wife misappropriating my BAS payments created the spiral. On that as mentioned above, I experienced uncomfortable feelings re- unwanted same sex thoughts. These were not an issue or regular pre becoming unstable, therefore never needed acting on. I have been married for 12 years and been happy with heterosexual intimacy. However since the intrusive and ruminating thoughts accelerated around my breakdown and in recovery it feels as though my mind is split, rupturing my pre breakdown confidence and being thrown in disarray when the depressive effects are overrunning my ability to deal with life in general. Things such as financial, family and marital issues have become extremely stressful and confusing resulting in suicidal thoughts at times. But, I have periods where I gain strength and clarity amongst the manic episodes where by things aren't obsessively ruling me and I am able to moderate and contend with the irrational guilt & fallout of the whole experience. I have been suspect of Bipolar or BPD due to struggles over the years in consultation with practitioners, but right now really need aid in getting out of the dangerous level of depression. Meeting with Physiatrist this Thursday to consider med change or more. First post so sorry if not appropriate in any way. Just needed to take some pressure off my current support network.beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

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