Hello sluke71, I am so sorry to hear that the journey has been so long and painful for you. You sound very despairing right now. Depression can be such a paradox; you say that you are feeling low and at the end of your tether, yet you can still assess your life as being wonderful, and mention positive things like your business, your wife, your home.
Medication can be a wonderful thing, but I believe that on its own it can often fail because we also need to address our feelings, and our way of viewing the world. Sometimes we need to work actively to become more self-aware and make changes, rather than relying on the pills to make the changes for us. Have you ever been to see a psychologist, therapist or counsellor and tried to get to the bottom of your negative thoughts and feelings? This can be a slow and sometimes confronting process but can ultimately be very rewarding.
For a start, when you look at those positive things about your life above, can you think deeper and list three or four things specific that make your life wonderful? Or is it just that you say your life is wonderful because you feel that is how others would see it? Are there really some parts of your life that you are not happy with?
You don't have to live like this sluke71, it is possible for changes to be made. Even after years of feeling low, a breakthrough is possible.
