2 steps forward 1 step back

[Mollymoo53]

I don't feel like I am getting any better, my antidepressants were changed as the ones I was taking were causing all sorts of side effects I have been on the new ones for  5 days now . My sessions with the counsellor have been hard and I leave them feeling good, however, last night I seemed to have a relapse and had suicidal thoughts and spent most of the night crying the same as I am doing now. I know Im supposed to do things however, I don't want to do anything.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Mollymoo

And welcome to Beyond Blue to you and thank you for coming here and providing your post.

Firstly that’s great that you’ve recognised that your meds needed changing and are now on to some new ones.  The doctor should have let you know that it takes approximately 4-5 weeks for medications to get fully into your system and to begin ‘doing what they should’.  So please keep on with these current ones as you’re only in the very early stages with this.

That’s also pleasing that you are finding benefits with your counsellor – and wow, yes, those sessions with a counsellor can be definitely hard – very taxing and exhausting, but if they then later generate mini-break throughs or alternative ways for treating things or handling things, then those hard times are certainly worth it.

Now Mollymoo, you’re battling at present and though you say you don’t feel like you’re getting better, I just take a positive out of your counselling sessions and that they leave you feeling good.  However with regard to how you were last night and are today, can I just say that this road that we’re travelling along is not smooth.  Large boulders can appear in our way and we need to battle over those, which is no doubt where you are at the moment.  The battle rages on within us and we’ve just got to continue to fight against it – one foot in front of the other.

I hope you’ve got some help or support near you – but I’m also very pleased that you were able to come to B.B. and post.

I also hope that you’re able to come back and post again.

Kind regards

Neil

[Hspar2]

Hi Molly

How are you today?

[Mollymoo53]

Thanks for asking better today, went to work for the first time in 3 weeks, it was easier than I thought it would be. Everyone is very concerned about which was really nice to know.

[Hspar2]

Great! Just one step at a time.

[Neil_1]

Hi Mollymoo

Hey, that’s a great result – being able to get back to work and not only that, but to be received in a supportive manner by work colleagues.  That can make a huge difference in being able to move forward.

Kind regards

Neil