Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Croix]

I was at the airport when I spotted my friend Jack - so I yelled out "Hi Jack"

The resultant events were unexpected and unfortunate.

[quirkywords]

I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is ‘Goodbye.’

[Croix]

What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up".

[Croix]

People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad.
But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.

[Ggrand]

A man was out on a walk when he saw a sign outside the police station that said, “Man wanted for robbery.”

So he went in and applied for the job.

[Croix]

The self-depreciation society is taking applications for new members.
I've already put myself down.

[quirkywords]

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

[Ggrand]

Hello Everyone..

Someone has removed the fifth month from all of my calendars.....

I’m dismayed

[Moonstruck]

Funniest one I've heard in ages Grandy....now I just have to try to remember it to add to the three jokes I have in my repertoire.....

[Croix]

Two calendars fell in love with each other
They went on a lot of dates