Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Neil_1]

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

And one last one to ruin the top two, as they were quite good:

What did one chimney say to the other?   You're too young too smoke.

[AGrace]

Hi Neil,

Very funny!!

Ok so here goes another...

One in four people have a mental illness.

So think of your 3 closest friends, if they seem ok, then you are the one:)

[AJ2014]

I made a dog from 7 bits... it was all bark and no byte

[AGrace]

Hi AJ,

Thanks for keeping Neil's tradition alive. 

I used to drink all brands of beer. 

Now, I am older Budweiser!

[Neil_1]

Ok, so I'm like a day late, but better late than never.

A man goes into a Dr's and says, "Wig-wam".   The Doc examines him and tells him to come back tomorrow.  The man does and says to the Doc:  "TeePee".

The Doc says, "Ahhhh, now I see what's wrong with you - you're too tense" (tents)

🙂

ps:  Amber, LOVED your Budweiser one.    And thanx AJ also for chipping in.

[White_Rose]

I keep forgetting it's Wednesday until it's Thursday. Does that count as a joke?  Perhaps not!

A girl was talking to someone at a party and discovered he was a psychiatrist. She was excited and asked him how he could tell if someone was clever.

"Well", he said, "I usually ask them a question like this. Captain Cook sailed round the world three times. On one of his voyages he was killed. Which one was it?"

The girl sighed. "Oh, I don't know. I was never very good at history."

[AGrace]

Hi LING,

No doubt it was Wednesday somewhere around the world:)

I had to read your joke 3 times before I got it...I'll have to put myself in that not so clever basket!!! It's been a long day.

[Vegetarian Marshmallow]

Psh.  They may have sailed him around the world in his casket once or twice.

[White_Rose]

Very true!

[Sparkles183]

I just want to encourage and thank you guys for posting this thread.it put a small smile on my face the other night when I needed it most so thank you...