Hi Rusty
I'm 70yo now and had bipolar and dysthymia most of my life. I'm likely under the autism spectrum full functional. I'm also a member of a family thats had suicides including my brother at 26yo and an uncle.
So what I want to mention is that with mental health depending on the conditions, we often have troughs and valleys, highs and lows. Proper diagnosis allows proper medication and once thats all sorted your mental state in terms of those ebbs and flows, become less and we transgress towards a more normal state of mind and stabilty.
The problem is that we will never arrive withon the boundaries of normality with stabilty, medication and therapy can only do so much. From then on our environment, workplace, career, toxic people etc all have a bearing on triggers that come and go. It is why many of us resort to shutting ourselves away from the masses, that allows us less contact and therefore less challenges to integrate without disputes and therefore less hurt.
Our insulating ourselves from society has many benefits as long as we still allow ourselves to mix a little and not close all the blinds. I think for me I've perfected the level of contact. eg I just went down the shops her ein my small town, spoke to several locals for a maximum of 2 minutes each, resisted talking more even though they wanted to and returned home. If I had remained with one of those people for say 5-10 minutes, chances are I'd say the wrong thing and that would later lead to guilt and apologies and on their part, lack of understanding and so on. So I've found my niche.
Same with clubs, motorcycles cars etc. When young I'd throw myself into committees and run the high risk of identifying bullying or discrimination and go on a moral fight to save the world. Not now.
So as time goes by I'd suggest you find out your triggers, identify if you are in a low place and wait until you crawl out of that cycle then motivate yourself. Pointless trying to motivate while you are down, your mind isnt ready.
When I'm low, I do things that assist in raising my mood. Watch motivating videos, walks, being kind to others, all things that raise my feelings about myself.
Google- Prem Rawat Maharaji sunset... then all is well... then the perfect instrument... and many others. I've been watching him for 40-+ years.
TonyWK
