Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Eagle Ray]

I’m now seeing an image of a cat looking perplexed and grumpy as it spins indefinitely in mid air, and a dog running relentlessly in circles and never giving up. Imagining the two in the same room at once is quite absurdist.

 I have heard that horses sleep on their feet. I wonder if you strapped the toast butter side down to their belly if they would gravitate downwards? 

[tranzcrybe]

I guess that would depend on how big the piece of toast was... perhaps replace the butter with horseradish and see if that helps??

[Eagle Ray]

Hmmm, interesting. I think we are developing a new area of physics called toastology. We must therefore be toastologists!

[mmMekitty]

Where do fish sleep?

In Waterbeds

LRC wants to know how to get them out.

[Eagle Ray]

Why did small rodents that enjoy eating French fries decide to enter monastic life?

Because they were chip-monks.

[sbella02]

Have you heard about the chocolate record player?

It sounds pretty sweet!

[Croix]

Oh dear, I missed Wednesday:(

Anyway:-

They just discovered an Egyptian tomb filled with hazelnuts and chocolate. They believe it's the tomb of Pharoah Rocher.

[Eagle Ray]

Why did the chocolate lover buy a painting of toes that looked blurry to put on her wall at home?

Because it was a Toe-Blur-Own

[Croix]

I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.

If I'm honest, it was a Rocky Road.

[Eagle Ray]

Hee hee! Good one Croix 👍

Why did celebrity cats walking down the red carpet at the Oscars spark change?

Because they were a Cat A-list.