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Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Everyone....🤗.

have noticed that a lot of mature aged and elderly people are living alone and overwhelmed by loneliness...I though I would make this thread to give and receive support to each other as well as a place where we could also chat about any thing you want to chat about...so we can all get to know each other...Life’s not as lonely with others to talk to....forum friends can be a big help for us in not feeling so alone...

Share some tips, exercise, gardening, favourite meals, recipes, books your reading, hobbies, what you like doing.....pets and their impact they have in your life....anything at all you feel that would help other people struggle with living alone.💐...and loneliness..

I have a volunteer day..one day a week, which gets me outside of my home and into a different atmosphere where I can talk to the other volunteers and sometimes even customers, when I venture into the shop...Do you volunteer yourself somewhere...

I have 2 little Maltese x Yorkshire..that are my companions, they help me to get out of bed each morning to care for them....when really all I want to do is stay in bed.....

Please feel free to talk about what your interests are or how your traveling right now..

Looking forward to getting to know you...

Grandy..

42 Replies 42

Moonstruck
Community Member

Hey there Grandy....wasn't expecting to find you here on a new thread....of course we've seen each other around for ages now.......what happened was....I was scrolling through all the topics on Forum....and true they cover just about every human condition, which is commendable....and for the life of me, I could not find one specifically for "Ageing, getting older, accepting old age, the elderly" etc......

there's one for under 25s....but couldn't find one for over 65s!!! Is there one I have overlooked perhaps? Perhaps one of the moderators could answer this for me....is there a thread for "older people" and how they are handling it, physically, emotionally, mentally, socially.....all of it!!

In the meantime Grandy....thank you for this ...you may have started something...who knows? love from Moon S

Hi Moonstruck,

That sounds like a great suggestion. We routinely collect and review forum suggestions from the following thread if you'd like to made an addition - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/how-can-we-improve-the-forums-your-suggestions-and-comments-please/page/5

In the meantime, please feel free to make a new thread on the topic, possibly in the section 'Staying Well' for now. We're sure that many of our community members would be interested.

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Moon,

I was hoping this thread would take off reasonably okay...for getting elderly people together on here and talk about anything that interest them...like a social thread... with ideas to help each other not feel so lonely..but unfortunately it hasn’t taken off as I hoped...

Thank you for calling in and saying hello...it means a lot..

Kind, caring thoughts Moon..

love Grandy...

How are you feeling today Grandy and what have you been doing? Which do you prefer, the daytime or the night? I'm a night person....I feel much more relaxed and at ease within myself once the sun goes down....as if no one can bother me, no one can see me...it's like a soothing cocoon at night for me.

I don't have bright lighting on....subdued lamps and candles are what I prefer at night.....plus the semi darkness makes any dust or dirt invisible !!!

I can't do housework as good as I used to...simply because it hurts...my hip and lower back...and it's awful...what's the point? I'm not a natural slob...I like things clean...but just don't have the energy any more...are you finding that too?

I feel inferior when I visit others' homes sometimes....they're so "up to date" with the latest decorating stuff and I wouldn't even know what "the latest" is. I've never been interested in that sort of thing until now....perhaps I've been so busy in my everyday life, raising kids and rushing here and there...enjoying life with all its dramas..now I have more time on my hands...I'm out of practice in these everyday mundane housework type decorating stuff!!

So my place isn't really a reflection of me...which is what a home is supposed to be.....it needs a good reno....but every little bit of improvement costs money as you know...wish someone could nominate me to go on one of those Home Improvement Reality TV shows (which I can't stand) and get me a free make-over......not ME....my house!!!

Hope you are feeling reasonably okay today.....keep smiling...love from Moon S

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Moon...

I prefer the nights...I don’t like going to bed...So I sit up until I am to tired to...I don’t mind what time I get up through the day, because there is nothing to do...déjà each day...and night...

My little house..I think is one of the first government houses to be made..they were made transportable back then as they were moved each time a government project was completed....The last move for my home is where it is now..They were moved here to complete the Dam...after it was completed the people in them, decided they want to stay here...There are under 200 houses in my village...

I like it here because my front neighbours are cows, kangaroos, rabbit, foxes, echidnas...and it’s peaceful just to sit out on my big veranda which is big enough for 2 single bedrooms...I have one out back as well....and watch them, especially the cows..

Its an old house which I love very much..needs work done, which I do occasionally...I have had to learn to do so many things being on my own with only the pension..

I googled about tiling, I tiled my bathroom..Also googled painting, which I’ve done...and a few other things as well...plumbing, changing tap washes etc...Living alone we need to learn these things or it’s big money...

Other peoples homes don’t bother me...I have what I’m capable of having and I’m very happy with my little home..I had a nice big home in the south western suburbs of Sydney, before we moved to the country..I hated it..it had no character...nor history..and to much cleaning...

Finding things to do throughout the day is hard with no motivation...My hobbies don’t give me any satisfaction or joy anymore..

Thank you very much for talking on here..I hope that others will pop in and talk about anything they want to..

My kindest wishes dear Moon..

Grandy..

Hello Grandy...just thought I'd say hello. It's late and I don't feel in the mood to read as I usually do..or watch a movie..it's an unfamiliar feeling to me which I've been having and I think I know what it might be..

I think I am lonely. In the past I've been "alone" a lot and don't mind it...this is different. Hard to explain. I like being "alone" because I always felt there was someone else ..there..that I would see again soon anyway..someone who loved me.

I don't feel "love" from anywhere now. I have never felt so terribly lonely that I can recall anyway. I can't sleep and had to force myself to make something to eat before. I felt I couldn't be bothered.

Just wanted to tell all this to someone and I knew you would understand....goodnight dear friend....x

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Moon,

I know that feeling of having loneliness and feelings of not feeling loved in the real world...I know my children love me..but they live to far away to feel it from here..and give me a hug...which really does make things feel better..Its been a year since I’ve seen then...I will be at home alone again this year for Christmas...Think I would get used to it by now...but do we ever get used to being alone 365 nights, most days x 24 hours...waking up alone, eating alone, shopping alone...some do..I wish I knew how to do it....

I think couldn’t be bothered eating comes with loneliness.. Dear Moon please try to fix healthy meals for yourself...it’s very important to do so both for our mental and physical health...A couple of boiled/poached eggs on whole meal toast is what I cook when I couldn’t be bothered...or even those ready made salads at Woolworths and Coles are another meal I do quite often....

I used to find it hard to sleep, even with my all in one anxiety/sleeper med...until I discovered adult sleep stories..on you tube..they go for an hour and the story teller takes me on nice peaceful adventures..I mostly fall asleep before the stories finished...Maybe you might like to try to listen to one tonight when you go to bed..

I have found that living alone..I have had to learn a lot about home maintenance..I couldn’t even change a tap washer before...Geoff has helped me at times, when I’m unsure of what I’ve read...

Moon..yes being alone is different from loneliness...I used to love my alone time when my husband was alive...I didn’t get much of it..I wanted more alone time..I think because we always had someone to go back to..or someone that came to us...is why that horrid loneliness feeling didn’t happen then...

Do you friends around you that you can phone up and talk to when you feel lonely...just to chat to?.

Thank you for sharing lovely Moon.....I appreciate listening to your words..and you as well dear friend...

Kind thoughts with my caring wishes..

Grandy..

Dear Grandy. I am so sorry I have ignored you for so long...but I did post on my old thread (to keep it alive and explain what has happened this past week and asking for advice) It's on "I can't find the right place to post" I think I called the thread. Mrs Dools saw it somehow and answered it.

It involves my grand child and social media, pressure about sexual matters at school and she is only 12, only a child....this is stuff she is not ready for to try and comprehend and work out....another parent of a student has also gotten involved encouraging her to indulge further and not to tell her parents etc....

it's dreadful and I've been sick with worry over her and how her parents are going to handle it...the school don't seem all that interested....this is a "child" we are talking about here...being contacted by an "adult"...and legally, that parent has not broken any laws!

I am filled with anxiety and even though it's not "my" problem to solve, I realise that, it's my family suffering here and when they hurt, I hurt....I feel so helpless. I am just one big ball of anxiety and despair and have others things to do that demand my attention....which is exhausting me when mentally I am so deplete.

just wanted to tell you why you haven't heard from me in a while...hope all is welll with you...love Moon S

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Moon..

Please don’t apologise...their is no pressure here at all..

I feel you have every right to worry over your beautiful granddaughter..she is still a young child and what’s happening is very wrong...The other parent should be ashamed of themselves...So should the school...allowing this to go on.,.Is it possible to ring the department of education and express your concerns with them..or ask her parents to do so?...How does her parents feel about what’s happening.....I feel you have every right to protect your precious granddaughter...any way you can...

Maybe if possible you can sit down and talk about the best way to handle the situation with your family or even maybe if it’s possible with the schools headmaster/mistress, not sure if they can help you all or not...bit they should and also should show some concern about what’s going on..it might relieve a bit of your anxiety...to voice your concerns and your thoughts..

Awe Moon..Off course your hurting when your family hurts...it’s because you have a deep love for them...I think that’s a natural feeling for all loving families..I wish I could say more to help your anxiety...

Take things slowly Moon...please don’t push yourself to much nor be hard on yourself...your doing a great job supporting your family..and them knowing that your there for them is more then enough...

My kindest thoughts lovely lady..

Grandy..